I'm worried i won't love baby #2 as much...Is this normal?

Question

Please don't give any mean answers, I just want some supportive answers, and help on how to feel better, or love my baby more. I know it sounds horrible it was an unplanned pregnancy, and I'm sure i will love my baby, but i don't think i do yet. Is this normal? I would never neglect my second baby, I just don't see how i could possibly love him or her as much as i already love my son. I loved my son since i found out i was pregnant with him. This pregnancy just doesn't feel real. I guess maybe I am worried about how this one will turn out because i am so sick and haven't gained any weight yet, but shouldn't i still feel something? I don't want to lose my baby, but I don't think it would devastate me, because i already have one wonderful kid. What is wrong with me? Have you ever felt this way?

Answer 1

It's normal. I felt that way when I was pregnant with my 2nd. I thought, "how could I possibly love anyone else as much as I love my 1st?" but once I delivered those feelings disappeared. It's amazing how maternal love never runs out.
Don't be too hard on yourself, this is an unplanned pregnancy and with that come a lot of feelings you weren't ready for. All will work out once you hold your little bundle of joy.

Answer 2

It's probably just your emotions running wild. A lot of women feel depressed about their pregnancy and may have anxieties, especially if it was unplanned. I am sure when you start feeling better and when you start feeling that baby kick and move you will love that baby so much, especially when it is born.
However if things continue like this, especially after the baby is born, you may want to talk to people about how you feel, and maybe have a family member look after your baby for a while until you are not so depressed, let them know it could even be a permanent placement. However, do not play with their emotions, discover if your emotions are genuine, or if it is just your hormones or anxiety and stress. You should talk to people even now, maybe you can talk to your doctor, family, friends, or hotlines if this is a serious feeling. There are lots of people that can help you, if you let them.

Answer 3

You are a bit angry you got pregnant if you love your first child you will love the next remember the feeling when you brought your first baby home it will all come to you the some way you are hormonal I am sure that's all relax and get through this pregnancy I my self hated being pregnant both times but the love I have for my baby was the best Now how do I love my 17 years old like when he was a baby ha ha

Answer 4

You are not alone, I felt that way too. When I found out I was pregnant, instead of feeling joy, I felt sad for my 1st baby (who was 1 1/2 at the time I got pregnant) & (2nd was also unplanned). Throughout the pregnancy I on one hand continued to feel sad for my 1st, and on the other hand, felt guilty because it wasn't fair to the unborn baby. Even the night before going to the hospital I cried because my 1st wasn't going to be the 'baby' anymore. When my 2nd was born, I felt love for him, and I will admit... unfortunately, it took a little bit longer to get that bond between me and him, than it took for my 1st. WIth my 2nd, our bond seemed to grow steadily, rather than instantly. But we are SO bonded now... you will find that mom's have an infinite amount of love to give to their children, you will see, it really is amazing. And each pregnancy/ childbirth is different. It would also be perfectly normal for your feelings to be reversed.... i mean, if you felt an instant bond with the 2nd, faster than the 1st. Don't worry, you will love this 2nd baby, just as much as the 1st :)

Answer 5

My second pregnancy was unplanned as well. It was also unwanted in the begining. I did not want another baby and did not want to be pregnant. I felt this way for most of it. Once I had her and looked at her, I loved her. You are normal with your feelings. I was better once I had the sono and heard the heartbeat. The clincher for me was finding out it was a girl. I would not trade either of them for anything and am very happy that we got pregnant and had both of them. Hang in there, things will change. I was scared to that I would not be able to love to kids. That changed once she was born.

Answer 6

um, one of the questions you answered, you mentioned that you are 15 years old, trying to get pregnant and probably are!
What's up with THAT!, then one of your own questions, you said, "my husband...." are you on drugs?
you are NOT really who you say you are, all your answers and questions to and for others are hidious and looks like as if you are 50 different people!


To answer THIS question of yours. Yes, this is a normal feeling. Once your "baby" is born or even before, then you will create a different bond but same love. The unconditional love, that motherly love. Do worry! Just be happy and be a good mom.
(if you are any of this since you answered a question that doesn't have anything to do with THIS question stating who you are, what you sourses are....your a fake.)

(You answered THIS question; Why do women have kids with men who can't support them?) HERE's is your sourse that you put; ""Is it really that hard to raise a baby?" says the 15-year-old girl who has been trying to get pregnant for months, and might be now. "



Then, one of YOUR questions was this; "My husband's name seems to be popping up everywhere... does it seem like he has a double out there?"


Hmm, your 15, married, have a 17 month old son, 2nd on the way (or accroding to the qusetion you answered above.)

NO, DONT skip night school to take him out on halloween, HE's 17 months old. Stay in school and for GOD's SAKE, STOP HAVING BABIES....I don't care IF you are married. Who EVER let you get married at 14, 15 years old. THAT'S REDICULOUS!

EDIT; How old are you? You told me in to answer my question that you are NOT 15. You were asking from hearing that from a 15yr old, you made it sound like it was YOU, notice that you have more than ONE thumbs down on that on!!! *Wink

Answer 7

Totally normal. I used to feel such guilt before I had my second. I thought I was doing such a disservice to my first child making him have to share me and my time and his space. Turns out - I do love kid #2 just as much. I am now expecting my third and funny enough feel the same way again. I am making my second the dreaded 'middle child'. All of my babies have been unplanned but that did not stop me from loving any of them. Enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy your first child for now and enjoy your new addition when s/he arrives! Congrats and no more worries! :)
(hope this makes sense, pregnancy brain stinks)

Answer 8

I went through the same exact thing. I had my second, when my first was just 19 months old. I was sure I wouldn't love the second enough! But I do I love my little boy just as much as my daughter. It happened so fast and so strong, I couldn't believe the way I felt before. Hang in there it'll happen, and you won't regret it!

Answer 9

This is sooooooooo normal. I was afraid with my last pregnancy> my fourth baby< that she wouldn't like me. I was also afraid that I would love her more then the other kids. It's your protective instinct for your son kicking in. It does not mean that you love him more. Another thing is that when pregnant women have nothing to worry about, they tend to worry about the unknown.

Answer 10

well I hope there is nothing wrong with you because I feel the same way.
Although I am not yet pregnant I always have this nagging fear that it wont be possible to love my second child.
People have reassured me over and over that its not true.
The children become one in your heart and your soul- there is no ''extra'' love but you dont loose any either :)

I can understand how you feel- be patient it will all come to you.