Mom with style...?

Question

I don’t know if it’s just me or every mother that feels this way. I used to be so stylish--I wore what I wanted but I always looked well put together. Now that I’m a mother I almost feel like looking nice is against the rules. I’ll go to the doctor’s or the school and get stares because I’m not wearing a baggy tee and jeans. I get weird looks because I still dress like I always have. Why is it the “norm” not to care what you look like when you are a mother? Does looking well put together or stylish mean I’m a bad mother in others eyes? I just don’t understand why I’m supposed to lose myself just because I have a child.

I'll explain the way I dress because people seem to be getting the wrong impression. I dress business casual. Black pants and a nice blouse. Not tight jeans and tight shirts. I don't go for trendy teen clothes but young woman business casual clothes. I don't wear shirts that my breasts are popping out of or jeans that show my crack!

And...I don't wear makeup. I never put that much hassle into the way I look.

Answer 1

People are probably looking like that because their wondering how you're managing to have time for yourself. I went through the baggy jean, big t-shirt thing because I felt self-conscious about my new and not so flattering body. Don't take the looks as criticism - more than likely they are looks of admiration. Kudos to you for keeping sight of yourself!

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with that..and u are not suppose to lose yourself because you have a child. I am the same like you ..I am 5 months pregnant and still look good..I was a model before and i like to be stylish even right now, and i won`t change because i know i will be a good mother no matter what cloths i wear. So you don't have to pay attention to nobody, be yourself.

Answer 3

How do you know that you are getting the stares because you aren't wearing baggy tees and jeans? Has someone told you that?

Maybe....you are getting stares because you are an attractive lady.

I don't think anyone expects you to "lose yourself" when you become a mother.

I think you are putting way more into this than there actually is. Lighten up a little and enjoy the attention!

Answer 4

My philosophy is that as a mom I want my children to look as good if not better than I do when we leave the house. We are modern mothers. Not the frumpy type to wear big dresses and settle for larger hips and thighs that come with having a baby. We are career women who exercise and eat right, and have bodies that bounce back to pre-baby size (if not close to it).

More often than not, I get stares because people think I am too young to have a 2 year old. I am 29.

Answer 5

How old are you? that has a lot to do. I am almost 30 years old and expecting my first baby and I had my time to dress stylish as you call it. I am a very concervative woman and don't like to give men the wrong impression, I have seen some very young mothers wearing tight tees and tight jeens and they just look slutty and even when I am very concervative dressed, I still wear nice shirt that cover my breasts and my jeans are not tight, they actually fit me. It depends on how you dress, but I am the kind that gives bad looks to the ones who dress a little bit too slut. I used to dress diffently when I was younger but hey that's what young people do, they like to be fashionable but I am over that period, I am more like a mom-to-be now, I want my kids to see me as a mom not as another young teen out there, they will respect you more too.

Answer 6

i used to put a lot more effort into what i wore but now i don't have the time and sometimes it gets some funny looks but i have never been a big make up person and don't have time to do more than brush my hair back most days i just have more important things to do like care for my son some mothers know how to make the time i just can't seem to find it very often i don't think that either way makes some one a better or worse mother it's all about time management and i have often wondered the opposite if my ponytail and tee shirt make me look like i care less about my family and the way we present ourselves

Answer 7

No you are not supposed to lose yourself because you had a child. Their is nothing wrong with wanting to look good and keep up with the styles. Too many women let themselves go all to h.e.l.l. when they have children or get comfortable with a man! I would be looking at all the other sloppy dressed, baggy jeans and t-shirt wearing women and wonder why they don't do something with themselves. I personally don't buy the crap they don't have the time to do anything with themselves. I am a Mom too, and I have always taken the time to keep myself together.

Answer 8

There's nothing wrong with being stylish or being less-than stylish. It's whatever makes you comfortable.

Actually, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't really. I mean if you walked out of the house all put together and a kid on your hip you'd probably be judged for being "too into your looks for a mom" but the next day you'd walk out of the house wearing jeans and a t shirt and you be judged for being "sloppy and careless when it comes to looks". Do what makes you comfortable--that's what I say!

Answer 9

Maybe people are just jealous because they don't do it. I agree with you. I am a stay at home mom and when I go out I am going to get "dressed". Makeup and all (not trampy). I hang out at home all day and I wear comfy clothes. When I have the chance to look decent, I am going to do so. I also don't want to embarrass my kids when they start school. I will not be that mother that wears a bathrobe when she drops her kid off at school. That's just embarrassing.

Answer 10

As long as your clothes aren't embarrassing your child - like you're half naked or whatever - then you should dress how you want. The other Mom's are just jealous. Plus, your child will have a better self image when they see you as independent and not following the crowd.