I recently broke up with my boyfriend, with whom I have a son. We had a big fight over money issues and he was so frustrated that he pushed me. Now as a child growing up, I had to experience seeing abuse towards my mother. I figured that he was an abusive person and i feared what i had told myself that i was not going to ever go through. But, is he really abusive or did i jump the gun and leave? I miss him so much and i wonder if i should have stayed, for me and my son.
2006-09-28 08:23:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anashya 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ive been here doll i know its really hard and im not justifying violence or abuse in any way you havent said but did he apologise or try to make up for his actions in any way if he didnt although i know its hard let him go but if you really love him it wont be so easy to get over my advice is give him a call talk things out and see how you feel then but dont be going back because your scared off being a loan parent you always get along some how and you never no you may realise your happier without him
good luck doll x
2006-09-28 08:30:30 · answer #1 · answered by boosbecca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people will tell you to leave. However, I think when you have a child with someone, it's important to try everything before you leave. You should explain to him in a letter or email that you love him and you want to work it out. Explain to him in a calm way that you saw your Mother get abused when you were growing up and it's hard for you think about living the same kind of life as her. Tell him that if he's willing to go to counseling and it NEVER happens again, that you will consider getting back together. Then, if he ever does do it again you can leave for sure knowing that it's a pattern. Sometimes in the heat of the battle, when you're both fighting and yelling, things can happen that would not normally happen. Money is a big arguement among most couples and causes the most stress. If you get back together, you'll need to sit down and work on a budget for the house and bills that you can both live with. You should write everything down --the money coming in and the money going out for bills and how much extra you will spend etc. Write it down and you both sign it and tack it up on the wall somewhere, so you can remember the promises that you made. And again, you want to get into a joint marriage counseling situation. There are a lot of places who will see you for free, or charge fees based on a sliding scale of what you can afford. You can look them up in the Yahoo Yellow Pages.
Good luck!
2006-09-28 08:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by ggirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to dicuss this with you BF. If it was only a push and not abuse you may be misreading the event. If this was the only incident of pushing, again it may not have been as bad as you think. Most couples have problems over money, so your not alone. Couples both need to keep it rationale and if it begin to get a little heated, stop what is going on before it gets out of hand. I recommend go back and talk about it and then decide what you need to do! Good Luck!
2006-09-28 08:29:06 · answer #3 · answered by kevin T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing I never do is fight about money. Money is the root of all evil. Just let him go to cool off. Also tell him if he ever leaves a hand on you again. That your going to move out or have him move out. Tell him that you will not tolerate any abuse. If he does it again I would say break up with him. There is so many other man that would appreciate you and love you unconditionally. Please don't settle! Good luck and God bless.
2006-09-28 08:28:35 · answer #4 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just leave. You are going to be comfortable to something you are familiar with. If you promised yourself you would never got throught abuse then don't. Get your son and get out. Get an extra job if you have to. Move in with a relative if you can't make ends meet yet. Tell someone that he was abusing you. Or get a restraining order if you feel necessary or he threatens you. Don't put up with it. That's not love. That's control.
2006-09-28 08:26:52 · answer #5 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you noticed other "anger issues" in the past? If so, it may be better to move on. I don't know how long you have been together, but if it has been awhile and he has shown no other signs, he may have just been really frustrated and acted poorly. How has he acted since? We all do things we regret every once in a while, so try and think with your head instead of your heart, and see where that leads you.
2006-09-28 08:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by noambition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your gut feeling. It is unacceptable to get physical with your partner, I don't care how bad the fight is. He has crossed the line once, he will do it again. No one I've ever known closely (parents, grandparents, close friends) have had their husbands push them, it's just not cool.
2006-09-28 08:27:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on. Things like this have a nasty way of escalating and it is not worth the risk for you or your little one.
2006-09-28 08:25:29 · answer #8 · answered by Amy Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how much of a push was it? if its a full great big push leave? if it was more of a get away ur pissing me off women push if you love him you can work it out! do you love him?....yes? get back with him
2006-09-28 08:26:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would maybe give him a second chance but if he did anything like that again i would be out the door straight away. make sure you tell him that too so he know's his boundaries.
2006-09-28 08:26:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋