Every time I confront her for something she's done wrong she turns it on me and makes out its me that's done something wrong! She is very good at it although she isn't learning anything. What's the best way to deal with her?
2006-09-28 08:09:27 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
if i had the answer to that one i would not be in the same predicament just try and stay sane till they are at least 25
2006-09-28 08:46:59 · answer #1 · answered by ladybird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will need to stand your ground mom. If you are always walking away with your tail between your legs, she's only learning that she can guilt you into being the bad guy! My 13 year old tried that with for a few times and my answer to it was, this is not about me and I am an adult capable of making my own decisions. Stand your ground when she has done something wrong, if you don't like what is coming out of her mouth, tell her to hush it up, that she's the one in trouble, not you. I have learned one thing, if you say no phone and no computer for you today, stand buy it, cause if they know you will cave in later, then she wont take you seriously when you are disciplining her.
Good luck, teenagers are very difficult, but you are the parent and always remember you are the one in control, not her.
2006-09-28 08:29:46 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle Lynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's a teenager and a girl!! you don't say how old she is, if it's any comfort to you when my two girls were 13 I began to dislike the people they were turning into, I realised everything I said or did was wrong in their opinion and it gets worse until they reach a magic age of around 17, for some reason these horrid girls turn into beautiful well rounded members of society and we love them all over again, I took enough sh*t from them in their teens that now I have learned to take all the credit for them being responsible, caring adults, it was hard going but worth the struggle in the end!! stay afloat and 2 steps ahead of yours and you can survive!!
2006-09-28 18:20:23 · answer #3 · answered by pottydotty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always say what you mean and mean what you say.
Face it, as a parent you're the enemy. Stop trying to be her friend like a lot of those new-agers preach. As a parent you need to act like one. Let me tell you, when I say no, I mean NO! I don't put up with ANY bs, period. Boundaries have to be set and adhered to. Kids are always trying to push past those bounderies, don't let her. She may scream, holler & pitch a fit, but don't back down. And don't lose your cool. If you lose your cool, she's found the chink in your armor and will exploit it to the max. Plus you lose your credibility.
Your daughter acts this way because she has no (zero) respect for you. Respect in my household is non-negotiable. It's not something I ask for, I demand it. Remember it takes two to argue and I 'never' argue.
2006-09-28 10:19:46 · answer #4 · answered by Larry F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are losing control or have lost control already. She has no respect for you and you need to get that back. Do not take any kind of sass from her, wear her butt out everytime she tries. If you do not believe in spanking your teen, you will when she starts to listen and treat you with respect. Take charge, you are the mom and she is the daughter...You need to get meaner when she gets mean, she will not understand or respect the calm nice approach...
2006-09-28 08:29:14 · answer #5 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a teenager myself just give her some space I know I give my mother hassle alot but us teenagers really love or parents we just want attention! I am sure everything will turn out okay just try talk to her and if that doesnt work then she just wants to be on her own for a while. Goodluck Claire 17
2006-09-28 08:17:32 · answer #6 · answered by claire_bear_lucy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to sound judgemental, but are you sure that you (or other family members) haven't behaved this way towards her in the past? People tend to learn this sort of thing in their own homes. Take a look at your own behaviour before you criticise your daughter.
2006-09-29 10:14:27 · answer #7 · answered by chemical_sister_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try spending some time with her. Talking about what's going on in her life.... let her know you love her... and hope that she can come to you with any problems she may be having..... let her know you were young once too... and let her know that things will be alright in time..... as a teenager it's hard for them to see that their life in terms of the 'bigger picture' and they tend to be in the 'here and now'
Our jobs as parents are to help them become independant adults who make good and healthy choices.... does she see you as a healthy adult???
And remember..... teenagers are hormonal... and moody.... they don't always know what they're feeling or how to convey their feelings.. it could be pms starting.
Also... one last thing.... remember that YOU are the grown-up don't engage in the arguement.... stay calm and explain your view...... ask her to try to calmly explain herself without getting unnecessarily loud.
I wonder what she hopes to gain from being mean to you..... you have a wealth of knowledge and wisdom that could be helpful for her in the long run.
Try to be understanding.... Good luck to you.....
2006-09-28 08:23:11 · answer #8 · answered by who me? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Less talk more action. If she always tries to turn it on you. Don't let her. If she is not doing what she is told, don't give her pocket money, don't let her go out with her friends, watch her favourite TV programme etc etc. She will soon get the message that you are not to be messed with!
2006-09-28 08:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by Fluffy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give her a good slap across the lips - then have Dad do the same when he gets home - take her cell phone and computer away and then don't feed her dinner - I suspect she will come around by morning
2006-09-28 08:55:05 · answer #10 · answered by roadrunner426440 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋