my H and I have an 8 month year old son. He has 2 daughters from another marriage.We live 2 states away from the girls so we dont see them often AND their mom says some bad things about us in front of them as well as they have not gotten to meet their new brother due to legal matters(the mom puts her petty issues with my husband and I before the girls knowing their family).I want our son to have a close sibling to grow up with(one that he won't have a tainted relationship with). My husband is afraid that his daughters will feel "replaced." I feel that the only reason young children feel that way is because the idea is encouraged by an adult(I'm not pointing any fingers BUT the Mom has abandonment issues as well). I do not thnk it's fair for our son to grow up wthout knwing wht it's like to have a bro or sis becuse of ths reason.my H wnts our son to hav a good relatonshp wth the grls but I don't see tht hppenen anytme soon.Our son shuldn't have to wait to knw what its lke to hav tht
2006-09-28 07:15:50 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Let me explain something quickly-he agrees to have another child, but not right now.........................
2006-09-28 08:02:43 · update #1
...and pleas note that I never said anything about tricking him into having another child. I know that's not right...hence the question "how do I convince...."
2006-09-28 08:05:26 · update #2
Just give it a little time...you just had a baby. Maybe he'll change his mind a little later. Enjoy your baby. They grow up so fast! There is something I have learned...you must give men time.
Good luck!
2006-09-28 07:45:26 · answer #1 · answered by beachbum26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there is more to the story than we'll ever know to truely give any advice on this. If there are legal issues stopping the girls from seeing their father then there is some true reasoning behind it. The system does not block a father from seeing his children without good reasoning. Also maybe you should help your husband with getting those legal matters switched to where the girls can be a part of his life more often. It won't be as much as he would probably like, but at least it would be to where he feels more like a father to them also.
As far as having another child, you son is only 8months old. Maybe the issues with his daughters need to be put into action before you think of bringing another child into the mix. There's plenty of time to wait with your son being as young as he is. Maybe you need to be more interested in what's going on with his daughters and show him how much you care about the situation and that you're willing to help in any way possible and then he may feel more confident about having another.
But bringing another into the picture now would just be a huge family issue with him feeling the way he does right now. I would just sit back give it some time and help him with this. Talk to him about what you want, what he wants, and when might be a good time for it. You don't want to bring another child in it and that child be at risk of neglect of it's father. You really should wait till he's ready and your son is a little older, and these issues have been resolved with his daughters.
2006-09-28 14:30:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to try to convince him. That's not a good way for a baby to start out. Your hubby already has 3 children, he shouldn't be pushed or tricked into having more if he's not ready. Is your son 8 months old or 8 years old? If he's only 8 months old, you need to wait a couple of years anyway before having another child. Plus, not all kids have close siblings. If your hubby doesn't want to have anymore kids, just be sure your son spends time with cousins, or your friends kids. If you trick your husband into having another child, he will resent you and may resent the new child.
2006-09-28 14:29:37 · answer #3 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
omg a question i am actually kinda qualified to answer becasue I have been and am going threw this on both sides of the problem. One I was the child that had the mother that bad mouthed the father and visa versa in that sence when I got older I relized who the liar was in the situation, my stepsisters are being kept from their dad right now and so is my stepdaughter, now with that being said my mother had a child wth my step father and so he rarely sees his half sisters since I am older and the other 2 arent allowed to come often they chose to have no other kids he is spoiled but all in all doesnt affect much that he doesnt see them since he gets all the attention he needs from his family, now My step daughter never comes out to see her siblings that i have had and like you I had 2 children close together so they have a playmate it works great, they are exactly 2 years apart and I wouldnt have them any closer since one is on her way out of diapers finially so for the last year i have had 2 in diapers very expensive, now for the tricking issue, my husband is 14 years older than me and he said no more children and so after my daughter i got preggers (you know accidently ) and he was happy about it anyway and now we are talking about one more so it is up to you on how this goes down you issues with the step children arent going away but you cant fix them that is his deal so maybe you should wait till he is ready or maybe not that is up to you no one knows your situation but i gave u some different situations if you neeed more info i can help u out just e-mail me at Aileronlacey03@aol.com
2006-09-28 15:24:55 · answer #4 · answered by LaceyandSamsmamma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would wait for a while if your son is only eight months old just see if things improve with your husbands daughters as in time they will want to see there dad even if his ex don't want them to.and if in a couple of years nothing changes you can approach him again about another baby and at the moment just enjoy your son
2006-09-28 14:24:57 · answer #5 · answered by diane o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not a reason to have a child, since you only have one you may want another, but it sounds like the hubby has his seed spread pretty thin, heaven forbid child support for 4 kids.
2006-09-28 14:25:02 · answer #6 · answered by flip103158 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't convince him. He has to be ready. Sound like 3 kids is more than he can handle even though they don't all live with you.
Maybe you should write him a letter. Sometime sit is easier to communicate this way.
2006-09-28 15:08:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not a good reason to have a child. I have 2 sisters and 1 brother and NEVER see them and rarely talk to them. I am OKAY! If your hubby prefers to not have any more children then you need to respect his decision.
2006-09-28 14:20:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just arrange a ton of sex during your fertile period. The guy's like me only think of gettn some, we don't think you are trying to get preggies from us.
2006-09-28 14:23:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put a hole in the condom..... Thats how those flusies trap NBA players.......
2006-09-28 14:38:14 · answer #10 · answered by Ms Bea 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋