Why have kids if...?

Question

Why do some people get pregnant (on purpose) if theyre not going to raise them? They have em and then dump them in a day care all day long. These kids are in day care with several + other kids seeking attention from the same eprson who loves none of them and gives them very little personal attention and theyre there longer than you work. So,you see your children two hours in the evening before its night-night time? Then you still get babysitters when you should be home raising the kids you created? If people cant afford to stay home or work p/t or nights then why are you having them? Serious question. I have really wondered what the point is? Its like making money to feed a mouth you never see and never bond with. Especially infants who arent capable of entertaining themselves with other kids in the playground,they sit in their cribs.

CF,isnt the point of having kids to love them and make memories? To watch them grow from babies to children to teens to self-sefficient adults. Thats what counts in the end. Not how much the backpack cost or if you had to play at a park becuase theres no backyard. Kids get over that stuff but theyll have no family times to reminceabout.

One mor thing. This dosnet apply to single parents as there obviously is no choice for them and I respect their hard work.

Dear HOTMAMMA, My question isnt uneducated. I have 3 kids and very well understand the finances of it all. We choose to have a little less to be there. My 4yo is in pre-k 3hrs a day,my 3yo does a class a few hours a week and we have playdates. That is their sociolization. They do not need nor is it good to be in school from 7am till 6pm. Thats too much. As i already stated im not speaking of single parents with deadbeat parents. two parent families. Someone can stay home p/t or work at night full time. But many people work when they dont need to so they have nice clothes for themselves,go to the spa. Whats more important. Think with logic.

Answer 1

I agree I stayed home at with my kids and they didnt enter a day care center till they where 4 and it was a pre-school. I am a strong believer in a mother belongs at home raising the kids! I am now a RN (I went to school at nite for my BA) and plan 2 wrk the nite shift to be at home when my kids go to school at 9am be there when they get out at 230pm and be there at bedtime 8pm.

This is just my person opinion and that of my fiancee

Answer 2

I run a home daycare. I can understand where you are coming from saying that daycare people don't love the children if they are in a big crowded center. But my personally, working at home and watching children you do bond with them. You love them and care for them as if they were your own.

Then what would you be saying about school. You send you child to school six or seven hours a day pick them up and feed them and put them to bed. The teachers don't love there children? I have only had good experiences with teachers. They do bond and love and know the children. When they get older it is harder to bond with them as a teacher but you still can if you take the time to.

Answer 3

There will never be an end to this. Ever. When both parents work, it's usually because they have to, in order to feed their children and keep a roof over their heads and clothes on their backs. Not everyone makes 100K a year. Not everyone got a college education in order to make 100K a year. And just because kids get taken to daycare for 8 hours a day does NOT mean their parents do not love them or give them the attention they need. Also, daycare workers do love those children in their care....and if they didn't, why would someone take their children to that sort of daycare? I take my daughter to daycare, 40 hours a week. She goes at 6:45 AM, and I pick her up at 3:45 PM. There are usually four people working at the daycare, and my daughter loves each of them, and gives hugs and kisses before going home at night. She goes to bed at 8. At home, we get four hours a night, plus weekends, together. All of my free time goes to her. Sometimes I can't wait to get to work, because she drives me bonkers and I hardly ever have time to myself. I wish people would stop stereotyping parents who have to work and leave their kids in daycare...sometimes there is just NO alternative.

Answer 4

Because the majority of today's women (isn't that sad we assume it is the women who needs to stay home) aren't willing to sacrifice their identity to be a stay at home mother yet still have all the love to give that a child needs. Though I do not have children my mother is a working professional and was when my siblings and I lived at home. She taught me so much as a working mother, about work ethic, integrity and prioritizing much more than just being home with a plate of cookies would have taught me. It is great that you are able to live the life you choose by staying home with your children but it is plain ignorant of you to criticize someone Else's choice.

I decided to be as mean spirited as your question and look at some other questions you have posted. Here's a tip if you'd stop being so self righteous and get a flippin job maybe you could afford that nice preschool for your daughter. Now the question is why have children if you cant provide the best for them?

Answer 5

because sometimes circumstances can change. a family that might be well enough off to stay at home with their small kids may no longer be able to do to a job change due to a lay off of the father and dad having to take a job that pays less, therefore mom having to go to work to help with the support of the household.

also to say that thees parents don't love their kids is an assumption based on what you feel. Thees parents may very well spend a great deal of quality time with their kids on weekends. many parents also go back to work once their kids are in school do to the fact they love their jobs.

I am a stay at home mom and feel it is my job to raise my kids however at the rate of inflation we may not be able to keep things at this rate so once my youngest is in school I may need a job does this mean I love my kids less NO it means I love them more to make sure they have everything they need.
stop assuming you know it all

Answer 6

So because a parent can't stay home with their child 24/7 they should not have a child? What an idiotic idea!
I don't know what kind of mother you are that you feel parents who put their children in daycare dont bond with their children? Are you really real?
You know there are also parents who do stay home with their child and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to stimulate, nurture or educate their child. Some parents stay home, talk on the phone, surf the internet and post stupid questions on Yahoo, sleep till mid afternoon, never get dressed for the day, keep the house and the kid dirty, and don't cook. but YOU think that's better than putting the kid in daycare? WOW!

Meona, you said it much more eloquently than I because I let my anger get the best of me, but thanking for posing an equally important question.

Answer 7

my parents were in the military. me and my twin had a babysitter and when my little sister was born 3 years later they left the army. they both ended up getting full time jobs. my mom worked til morning and came home when we were leaving for school and my dad left at morning til night and my mom left for work, mind you we didtn see them much due to the fact they needed sleep and we turned out fine.
i do plan in the future when we have a child that i will try my best to become a stay at home mom if it is affordable, depending on what kind of jobs my husband and i have in teh future, how much it pays etc, we both may need to work more than we want to, but in the end it will all work out.

Answer 8

That's like saying why put children in school. And children need to be around other kids - to be educated, to learn to get along with others, to be independent, to be creative thinkers, and to advance in their lives. Which is why it is actually recommended that children be put into at least a preschool program around the ages of 2-3.

Also, let's think about inflation. And having presidents who proudly have $40,000+ dinners, when over 43% of taxes comes from working families, increases our living costs. Not to mention the hundreds of thousands of immigrants (and the illegal ones), who come to our country and happily work for less than what our citizens can afford. Because of the rising costs of our economy, and how so much of our country is spent on helping other countries before taking care of our own...mothers are forced to return to work.

Most mothers would prefer to spend more time with their children. There is no mother who doesn't cry - all the way to work - after leaving their precious babies with someone else to take care of. But, mothers have to. Because babies, children, families...need the money. Diapers cost money. Food costs money. Gas. Clothes. Heaven forbid a few toys or movies every now and then. Not to mention providing a future for our children such as putting money away for college.

So having children is a choice. Leaving the child in daycare is something that most mothers are forced to do. And, as costs increase every year, wars are never something that can be predicted...there is no way to be sure that a mother can for sure stay at home all day with their child.

Not to mention deadbeat dads. The ones who walk out on their children, either before or after marriage. The child support offices - where a mother who would like something for support, is told that they have to wait months and months even for the case to be reviewed. Did you know that it can take up to 6 months to review a case - even though reviewing the case takes 3 phone calls, and reviewing 2 forms?! Not to mention the fact that mothers are only granted a certain percentage of the father's income. No matter what his income is. Which hurts mothers more, because a child's costs doesnt change - and all they have is what the court will grant. Sometimes it's as little as $10 a week. And, the deadbeat dads that leave, are also the ones that will try and snake their way out of it. Which again, can take months - years - for the mother to even get one single check.

Do your research on the government's spending. On immigration, how it's affecting our country's working families. Do your research on how it affects mothers to leave their children at daycares. Do the research on deadbeat dads, and just how much child support offices really don't care whether or not a mother gets a check from the father who left his children. Do the research on just how much a mother looks into a daycare, before trusting them with the care of a child. Before you ask a question as uneducated as this.

And...let's not forget about the stay at home mother, who also home schooled her children...lost it and killed her children.

Answer 9

i do agree with you, but because i know soooo many people who do what you just listed, it's not usually something i could voice unless i want conflict or drama in my life. i stay at home with my toddler full time and i'm pregnant again and will do the same with this new baby. i will continue to do this at LEAST until they are in school and i could find a p/t job while they are in school so i could pick them up from school. i can not imagine having my son stay in a day care where he no more special or paid attention to as the next child. a few times, we have left him overnight at his grandparents house so his dad and i could spend some quality time and i constantly find myself worrying that he is o.k., not because i don't think his grandparents aren't capable of taking care of him, but i just don't think anyone cares for him like his father and i.
but in answer to your question, i think people have kids who aren't able to take care of them for a few reasons.
-bragging rights. "look at me and my beautiful family"
-they really want kids, but can not afford not to work=selfish
-unexpected financial hardship which forced both parents to work

Answer 10

I can see it now. You will be the type of parent that will not let your kids out of your sight, won't allow them to date, etc. Then your kids will become out of control and unenlightened to what is really going on in the world. And when you get so old that you are unable to take care of yourself, your kids will be the first ones to throw you in a nursing home.


And to answer your question that you asked me on my post: I am the type of idiot that will be paying for your nursing home bill with my taxes. Don't worry, I'll send flowers...and books ;)