I have a friend who will only date people who are gorgeous/hot/good looking (she doesn't even care about their personality) so eventually in the end she gets screwed over. Is there a way to talk to her about maybe looking for other things besides looks without offending her. I'm just tired of seeing her get hurt by all these douchebags.
I know you can't change how a person is (especially if they don't want to change)...just some advice I can give her would be appreciated.
2006-09-28 06:25:42 · 6 answers · asked by JC 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Good answers so far, I agree with the first one...sometimes I just want to knock her around. I think that's illegal in most states though...damn
2006-09-28 07:08:09 · update #1
You didn't say if your male or female . But a friend is a friend be it one or the other . Set down with her and ask her if she likes her self . Because it sounds that she has a self hatred . She must conscious or unconscious think of her self as being not worthy of these so called good looking hot guys . As you say she gets hurt almost all the time by them . If she knows she is going to be hurt , and she must if what you said is true about the nice looking guys hurting her in the end . Then don't worry about her feelings getting hurt . Be up front with her and ask her if she doesn't see a pattern forming with the guys she is going out with . Ask her to give a average guy a try . That doesn't mean he wont hurt her either . But it will give a diverse out look on going out with other new people . Besides the hot ,good looking , ones usually crash and burn faster then the average guy . They are so full of them self that they wouldn't see a freight train coming if it was on top of them . That's why they don't care if they hurt girls or not . It's the I love me who do you love ? So to speak . Hope your friend sees the light .
2006-09-28 06:57:40 · answer #1 · answered by Angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is such a sticky situation. Make sure you are willing to be placed in the role of the bad guy before you even talk to her. Even the best meaning advice can be taken the wrong way.
Find time with her where there are no distractions. Maybe go out for coffee or dinner just the two of you. Gently ease into the subject of dating. Ask her about what she looks for in a man. If her answers all revolve around looks, then ask her why. Her responses will probably be shallow, so try not to be rude about it. Talk about all the reasons that you feel personality is a bigger bonus than looks. If you can, give specific examples of scumbag lookers, and wonderful dogs. Maybe guy A is plain but romantic, while guy B is handsome but abusive. Point out that looks aren't everything, and they give no indication as to what type of person a man is. Suggest to her that she give herself a chance to get to know what's under the polished surface before jumping head first into a relationship with them. A few extra weeks won't matter if the man is worth dating.
2006-09-28 06:39:24 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what to suggest. It seems even the ones who have good intentions end up getting hurt or hurting the other person. I guess just try pointing out to her when she has a keeper and not to let him get away. There is surprisingly enough guys out there who have looks and personality. Me being one of them.
2006-09-28 07:32:09 · answer #3 · answered by Ken 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her the pattern and ask her to take a look at what has happened in the past. Believe you me I have learnt over the years beauty lies within. She can find someone who is absolutely gorgeous (superficial looks) and he treats her like ****, is abusive is that what she really wants is looks that important that she would put herself at risk.
2006-09-28 07:05:08 · answer #4 · answered by amb1964 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is shallow and getting her comeuppance. You BOTH need to realize that SHE is putting herself in this position When she gets hurt enough that it bothers HER she is do something different but for now she is not going to be reachable. Also, the so called douchebags that are hurting her is what she likes and wants to spend time with....what does that make her?
2006-09-28 06:30:22 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Slap her against the head and tell her to wake up.
2006-09-28 06:27:39 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋