what responsibilities should I give to my 13 years old son?

Question

we are having a hard time setting boundaries and giving appropriate privledges to our 13 year old son. what should he be allowed to do and what should we expect in return ie chores around the house minimum grades and participation in sports

Answer 1

i have had 4 teenager keep them busy with school after school activities yes have chores cut the grass take the trash out make sure his room is keep ed clean if is helping with this then maybe you can get him something skateboard or something he has is eye on with in reason and if he is not doing his chores take some thing away change his curfew time but what you need to do is stress to him about school is so impotent i tell my kids all ways study but when you get in to high school get all of your graduating course done and all of your hard classes done and when you are a senior you can take it easy and when all of his Friends are studying hard he will be the one waxing his car

Answer 2

My daughter is 12 so I am kind of going through the same thing. Up until now we didn't expect too much of her. She's been pretty spoiled. She has only been responsible for good grades and keeping her room minimally tidy and a few household chores. As far as sports go I believe they do a great deal of good for adolescents. It keeps them busy, gives them something to do, keeps them out of trouble, helps them build self-esteem, teaches them focused on acheiving a goal, and keeps them active so they are not turning into lazy couch potatoes. We have never given her allowance before and just bought her whatever she needed within reason but all we've done is skew her concept of value. We actually wrote her up a contract and had her sign it stating that we would only take care of her basic needs like food and shelter and everything else she would be responsible for paying for. We made a list of chores and a set amount of money for each chore and she has to keep track of what she does and how much we owe her and she only gets paid every 2 weeks like we do. That way she is learning the valuse of money and if she spend all of her money over the weekend then she is broke until the next payday. If she wants money to do something with her friends she has to miss out because she didn't budget wisely. She is struggling with it right now but I'm hoping with time she will learn some valueble life lessons. Of course homeowrk always comes first, bottom line, no compromise. Hope this advice helps.

Answer 3

By thirteen, he should be getting a small allowance each week. However, only if he's doing things to help around the house. He could take out the trash, do the dishes once in a while, and help with laundry. These are tasks that aren't too hard. Another thing he could start learning to do for outside the house, is mow the lawn or rake leaves, things of that nature.

He shouldn't be pushed into doing sports, but if he is into sports then he should join up.

Answer 4

I think that minimum grades is not required as long as he is clearly studying and trying and doing all the work required. if a person tries and fails, they should not be punished. if he isn't even trying he should then expect to lose priveleges. as far as chores, i think a child that age should keep his room clean and be assigned one or two other household chores per week. and just in general pick up after himself and if he sees a need feel free to fill it. as far as participation in sports, or other activities.... art, music whatever... if there is something he enjoys... by all means encourage it, but don't force it or make it a requirement for getting other privileges. and finally as far as what he is allowed to do.... set limits but more or less let him do what he likes as long as it doesn't violate any of your rules. for example if he likes video games and watching tv... let him... but decide together how much time is reasonable and healthy and what games and shows you think are appropriate. if he likes to go out with his friends, again, let him as long as you know where, when, who, what time, etc. i think at this age he is more likely to respond if he feels that he is participating in making the rules and agreeing with you on what is ok. and children always respond to positive feedback on what they do 'right' better than negative feedback or punishment on what they do 'wrong'.
good luck.

Answer 5

i think at 13 he should have house hold chores like taking out the trash ,vacuuming floors,folding and putting away clothes and cleaning his own room, out side he can help dad mow the lawn very now and then things like that and a allowance can always help with this and pulse teaches him to be responsible with money and helping others out when moving things like that. hope this helped .good luck

Answer 6

i would say giving him one chore, 3 or 4 days a week would be fair. maybe, sweeping out the garage one day, taking out the trash the next, unloading the dishwasher the next day, etc. Maybe give him 3 things that he does for parents/household, and one thing that he does for himself (like maybe doing his own laundry or making his own lunch for school). That way, if he wants to slack off, he can slack off on that one task without you getting on his case. it would only hurt him.

Answer 7

he should clean his room take out the trash and maybe dishes.that is what i made my kids go .since i had 4 they would take turns with the dishes.maybe even teach him how to wash his clothes.my son that is still home hated to wash his clothes now he wont let me do his he does it himself.kids need to learn this stuff as oneday they will be out on their own.as foa as grades go yes they need to do their best,if he does good then let him go to the movies and do some sports as it is good for them. good luck!

Answer 8

make his bed every morning
fix his own lunch
keep his room tidy
take out the trash
mow the lawn

then i would say some sort of allowance, like $10.

Answer 9

Let him do somet like see his girl friend.