Should I Tell His Mom that I'm Pregnant??

Question

The Father of my child has been estranged from his mom for a year now. They only talk sometimes, But he hasn't told her that I'm pregnant AHHHHHHHH

Answer 1

Talk to him and tell her together

Answer 2

I would not tell her if I were you. There is a reason he is estranged from her. If he doesn't want her to know that is his decision. If you go behind his back it could cause big problems between the two of you and you do not need that with a baby on the way. You'll have enough work and stress as it is, without that hanging over your head.

Answer 3

I would talk to him first and ask him if he thinks it is a good idea. Personally I think it is but not without his permission his mother may be dominating so that is why he has been estrange for 1 yr. I would tell her together if he agrees to do it otherwise I would be quiet, although I would be royaly upset if one of my kids did this even though I am close with all of them. Weigh the Pros and cons with him before coming to a decision.

Answer 4

as a mother i have to say that i am sorry but it is between you and the father and you have to respect his choice not to tell her. he will have to respect your ideas too, so the best thing to do is to talk to HIM about the whole thing, let him know how you feel etc and work it out TOGETHER. whether you tell her or not is not the issue, the issue is whether you and your childs father are on the same page with the situation. going behind his back or against his wishes is not the best way to start off parenthood together. Remember you are having a baby with HIM not his mom!

Answer 5

From a mothers point of view I would tell her only if he feel you and he should. Remember, you nor he invited her to the conception party. And if she tell you " Mamas baby, Daddy's maybe." Make sure you have the DNA test results to prove its his and the child should be accepted into the/ his family blood line. Then there should be no issues to deal with. But if he does not feel its is necessary, don't.. Just do what you two have to do to make the best of the situation..

Answer 6

Earl has a great point. I am estranged from my mother for very good reason and my son is so much happier since. You need to take into account why they aren't communicating anymore and go from there.

Answer 7

If he isnt on good terms with her there is probably a reason. Ask him why and if you dont like the reason encourage him to make amends for your childs sake but dont go over his head and tell his mom with his permission. It will only cause a giant rift in your relationship

Answer 8

I would leave that up to him, only because you said that they are estranged and not having a good relationship. there is a reason they are estranged.

Answer 9

I think you better learn for sure why they are estranged. YOU might agree with him. Remember, Grandparents think they have some type of legal right, to the point where they sue to get access to their grandkids and sue to take them when catastrophy strikes.

Best find out what you are actually getting yourself into first!

Answer 10

Please do not do this behind his back. You and he should sit and talk and come to a mutual decision. He needs to feel as though he can trust you (even with something that could be considered small). Once the decision has been made, stick to it. Your obligation is to him and the baby not to his mother. Take care.

Answer 11

I know that most of you don't like reading about another persons life history, BUT. I feel for this child and you will just have to read it or not! The choice is yours!
Now, Dear, I am nobody of any importance in your life and neither are any of the other people here. But, I feel that what happens in your life and in the life of your guy, directly effects the life of your children. My oldest boy was from a marriage went 'a muck' and to be perfectly honest I wanted nothing to do with my sons father or anyone in his family afterward. His mother was overbearing, his father was a rich snob who thought that we couldn't make a sensible decision between us. Well, eventually his mothers rantings and his fathers interference, caused us to split. For a year after the divorce I couldn't be bothered with any of them. I was working in a large hotel, I am a Chef, and at the time a couple was there hoping to visit with grandchildren they had just recently learned about. Now, I spoke with this elderly woman for nearly an hour one morning and learned that her son and daugher-in-law went through something very similar and this lady was so sorry about what she had done she cried the entire time we spoke. Later she told me that her grand children were in their 20's and they were praying that they would be able to see them. They had traveled a long way to see them but even after setting up a meeting the mother called and cancled on them after they had arrived. It took another two days before they were eventually asked to leave and not bother any of them ever again. The old couple were so distraught it caused me to re-think my choices concerning my sons grand-parents.
I can't say that I ran home and called them up and everything was happy, happy, joy, joy. It took me another 2 months to get up enough nerve to call and I am glad I did. I told them I didn't want anything from them! I didn't want them to apoligize! I didn't want any adivice and I certaintly didn't need any money from them. I just want to give them the opportunity to see their grandson, no strings attached. Beleive me, it wasn't something I wanted to do, it was something I felt I HAD to do. You see, to me, family is the most important thing on this earth. Jobs, cars, homes, toys, land and friends are a dime a dozen. Family is forever, for better or for worse. It I wanted to teach my son to grow up and respect family and what it truely stood for, I must be the one to set the first example. I have long since married again had one more son and two daughters, who are now giving me grand-children of my own. Had I remained bitter there is no telling what would have happened to me, my son, or my sons grand-parents.
Please, sit down and speak with your guy and force him to tell you what happened between him and his mother. If it was any form of abuse keep that baby hidden. But, if it was just the normal up's and downs that happen between parent and child it's time to put it behind you. You have a child to raise, very soon, and believe me when I tell you that the bitterness your guy feels for his mother WILL be passed to your child. This could be by accident or on purpose. Either way, it will be something you don't want to happen. We have way too many broken families in this world and a lot of the problems could have been resloved with a simple. I'm sorry! It realy doesn't matter who's fault it was, or how controlling another person may or may not be. But, life is shorter than we realize. Live happy and be happy! It is your given right!
Good Luck little one!

Blessed Be