with his cousin and he doesnt know! its his cousin baby. i dont wanna hurt my boyfriend but how do i tell him its his cousins baby and not his! should i just keep quiet???
2006-09-28 05:34:27 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No you should not keep quiet about this situation. I know it's going to be hard for you, but you need to tell your boyfriend the truth. It might not seem like a good idea now, and you might even loose him, but when there's a life involved in this mess that did not ask to be here, the truth must be told.
Let's just say you keep quiet. What if the cousin still has feelings for you and wants to be there for "his" child? He will eventually tell your boyfriend and your boyfriend will surely hate you. So it's better to hear it from you than to hear it from someone else.
I hope this helps you.
2006-09-28 05:40:38 · answer #1 · answered by Kim 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How can you be so sure that it's his cousin's baby? And, if the guy is reasonably smart, don't you think he noticed that, well, duh, he didn't sleep with you that month (or whatever makes you so sure)?
You don't want to hurt your boyfriend? Sorry, it's too late for that. You already hurt him... he just doesn't know it yet!
You can't very well keep quiet if he wants to be on the baby's birth certificate. Does he want to be listed? If he does, then that's the time to come clean because the longer you take to tell the truth then the worse it's going to hurt. If he loves the baby and bonds with the baby then learns it's his cousin's child, he'll feel doubly cheated.
Plus, if at that point, the child has bonded with him, the child could be hurt by his reaction to the truth. It would be very painful to the chld to be rejected by the person the child perceives to be his or her "Dad."
Think of what's best for the child and let that guide you now... and for the rest of that child's life!
2006-09-28 12:41:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him- that is obvious. However, don't bring undue stress into your life while being pregnent. That can harm your baby. You cheated on your boyfriend, so there is some issue that isn't working for you with him. The cousin deserves the chance to be the father- Maybe your boyfriend will step up- you have to come clean. Just think of your health first though. Good luck. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, and you aren't a bad person- neither is your baby.
2006-09-28 12:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by Dewey 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a really hard one. How strong is your relationship? How involved is your boyfriend with your pregnancy? Are you planning to marry? Does the cousin know the baby is his? Will he ever tell of your 'relationship'?
With all this being unknown to me, I have two answers for you to ponder.
Yes, you should tell him... because: He has a right to know. His cousin might tell him. Your bond as a family will not bow under the weight of your guilt and anxiousness over keeping the secret.
No, don't tell him... because: He may never find out and it may never be an issue.
...Not to steal quotes, but... "Three can keep a secret, if two are dead."
2006-09-28 13:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by Echo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've already been selfish enough, you don't need to make it worse by keeping quiet. Meet in a neutral place that is quiet and come clean. You owe it to him to give him all the information he needs to deal with the situation. You're about to become a parent, so now's as good a time as any to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. He may leave, but at least you've owned up to your mistake. It would be unfair to all parties, especially the child to leave paternity unclear. Many women estimate possibility of paternity on days and are often wrong. DNA test is the only way to be sure.
2006-09-28 12:40:09 · answer #5 · answered by Brianna 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you and your boyfriend aren't getting along, go ahead and break up. If however, you are getting along, tell him that you made a mistake, and you need to talk to him, there is no easy way to do this, but start by bringing up what made you go to his cousin, and then end up with there is a strong possiblity that the baby isn't his. You may want to send him a letter, to ensure your safety.
2006-09-28 12:37:53 · answer #6 · answered by Justice 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Holy crap!!!! Just break up with him, don't even give him a reason why, just do it....you know like before, when you cheated on him in the first place. While you are at it, kick him in the nuts! It would probably feel better than the stuff you would put him through if you told him the truth.
2006-09-28 12:39:52 · answer #7 · answered by rentdiesel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth and get a paternity test. You did it now live with it.
Also if your baby has problems furthur down the road and needs bone marrow or an organ then your gonna have to tell him the truth then. You need to do it now, it'll be easier. Plus you need to know the family history of diseases (diabetes, asthma, etc.).
2006-09-28 12:39:46 · answer #8 · answered by Celesta 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If this is a serious question, the answer is...confess and face the consequences. Its the right thing to do, both for you and the child. The child has the right to know who his/her father is...
If this is a casual question...make the cousin the god father....
2006-09-28 12:38:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
AND with his cousin? Damn girl...why? why? why? This is going to CRUSH him but he and his cousin have a right to know. I just dont understand women that do sh*t like this. Your reaping it big time. Your about to deliver and obviously knew the whole time. Its just wrong.
2006-09-28 12:38:26 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋