I have been with my man, the father of my 2 children, for 6 yrs and I am so unhappy. He is a very blunt, get to the point type of person. Hes not romantic, or sweet. Even when it comes to our children. Our 2 yr old doesnt really bond with him, because i guess cause he sounds so mean all the time. Anyways.... Him and I have been through so many hard times, it feels like it all killed the way that i feel about him. When hes at work I miss him... but as soon as he gets home, we seems to clash, and Id rather him not even be here. We just recently moved to FL from Upper Michigan. over 1500miles. If breaking up is what should happen.. which I cant explain the whole situation with the little space. But what do I do. I cant be a single mother with no money, no current job. Its so expensive to live here..but I dont want to go back to MICHIGAN. I hate it there. It cost so much to move here to begin with. I am so confused, so scared to make the wrong decision. Do I try to be happy, but im not.
2006-09-28 05:32:05 · 7 answers · asked by 2girlsmother 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You two have hung in there a long time, had babies, gotten through the rough times and given yourselves an opportunity to have a better life. Sound like you are both exhausted.
Think about what it was that drew you to him in the first place. Tell him..."Hon, did you know your ___ really turns me on?" "I admire so much the way you....go to work every day, take care of the car, use a hammer..."
whatever it is you admire. Find something to compliment him on frequently even if all you get is 'Huh?'
Remember when you were freinds and used to laugh. Try to rekindle that friendhip...it's what takes couples through the "not so much in love" phases. Tell a joke, even if it is stupid, it's still funny. Odds are eventually your man is going to land in front of the TV. If the game is on, go cuddle with him. He'll tell you what's going on and that will make him feel important. Who cares if you don't love football, you do love him... This little compromise goes a long way. And make sure this is you guy's time. See if you can't arrange for the kids to be occupied during the game.
Try to make some down time just for him unless the game is on, of course. Make sure the kids are in bed or at least in their rooms an hour or so before bedtime. Just let him chill. You go take a bath, do your nails, light some candles and just entertain yourself....read, call a friend, whatever. He will sense that you are winding down and giving him space. Let him come to you.
If you see that he is exhausted see what you can do to ease that. Take out the trash instead of waiting for him. Find something to do part time that will help financially. Apply for a daycare subsidy. Avoid topics that start the misery. Trust that he will make responsible decisions about these things and let it go. Focus on the house, the kids, your well-being and his.
My man is pretty blunt and get to the point, too. He really doesn't appreciate anyone being in his space. However, he makes an effort to ask me every day if I need anything....and I picked up the habit. Ask your man if there's anything he needs you to do and then do it. Daily. Eventually he will get it.
Romance is tough when you're physically depleted. Once he sees that you make an effort to ease his burden he will begin to remember what he saw in you that made him want to make this committment. Just seek out activities that are healthy for your family and you. Share these good things with him. Leave the sore spots alone. Hang in there and he'll start to revive. He just needs to know that you're still in his corner, even if the kids do take most of your time. Just hang in there and give you both time to recover. Sounds like he just got too tired.
2006-09-28 06:46:25 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'd ought to assert who the hell are you to pick being there is not any data to back up atheists beliefs besides as Christian beliefs. that's all a remember of religion on each and every area. to boot to, raising childrens is an totally diverse situation as faith in worry-free words tackles one small element of life for a kinfolk. some households are gothic, some are activities geared, some are books smart etc etc etc and those variety of features the moms and dads do will be indoctrinated into their childrens even if the youngsters have say or no longer. it really is why some develop up doing the "kinfolk" business enterprise. My aspect is who're you or quite somewhat boastful to imagine that you'll tell any kinfolk that the way they're raising their childrens are incorrect. finally, have you ever met any childrens? childrens have a recommendations of their personal and many times spend an excellent variety of time rebelling adversarial to their moms and dads and some adversarial to any authority figures what so ever. There are extremists on all aspects and convinced each and every of the extremists desire some severe help, yet back it really is on all aspects. Even the most proper households with mind-blowing morals, values, etc even if non secular or no longer have their justifiable share of issues even as raising childrens and typically issues do not continually finally end up the way one expects. Oh, and Hitler change into in worry-free words born right into a catholic kinfolk yet as a lot of you've grew to change into to atheism so did Hitler. So I agree nonreligious human beings aren't any more beneficial positive then the Hitler kids. ***human beings have outcomes to any crimes and are basic counting on their crimes of those outcomes- what's the variety?? are not those too threats merely as many say that some Christians declare or threaten hell.
2016-10-16 02:42:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to find fulfillment in other things. Sounds like your stuck. As long as he isn't beating you or the kids, I recommend just making the best of it.
2014-09-23 10:34:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does he feel about you? You need to talk to him and bottom line it give him an ultimatum. Tell him you love him but you are not happy with the way he acts some of the time and you need to have romance
2006-09-28 06:09:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is too short to be in a relationship your not happy in. I say try one year of couple's counsling and if your still not happy dump him. If he's not your prince your wasting your time.
2006-09-28 05:36:40 · answer #5 · answered by Celesta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try your best to make him aware of you problems. Hopefully he will work with you on this but if he doesn't then suggest couple counseling.
2006-09-28 05:34:47 · answer #6 · answered by limpkornrock7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need professional counseling and hopefully you can get him in couples counseling.
2006-09-28 05:42:23 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋