How can I stop being depressed?

Question

I'm young (26), have a very good, extremely high paying job. I've recently moved into a lovely new loft apartment in Central London, I'm going snowboarding for two weeks at Christmas, I've got loads of friends who want to meet up all the time, I go to the gym very day, I've got nice clothes, £60k in the bank, and a loving family. But honestly, I'm considering suicide. Help please.

Answer 1

Hullo G.C.

May I call you G.C.?

You may know that severe depression, with sometimes urges or thoughts to commit suicide, is a mental illness. Nothing to be ashamed of, and quite treatable these days. Please do see at least two different doctors, making sure you understand what is the treatment and how much is your dosage if they recommend you medications.

While you're starting this, I would like to encourage you to restructure your thinking, or at least begin exploring your life, identifying past grievances, forgiving those who hurt you, finding where you may have hurt others, and making amends, while asking for reconciliation or forgiveness. For further explanation about what I'm conveying, please read Louis Jampolsky's book, I think it's called Love is letting go of Fear.

I hope that you confide in at least one trusted family member, if you feel this person will be confidential and be supportive to you.

Now, when you get the chance, I'd like you to go over to some of the areas of London which are less pleasant, maybe more crowded or poorer. See how those less fortunate than you are doing. Consider then, going to a charity and volunteering maybe two days a month, helping in some way, serving soup to the homeless and poor, sorting clothes to be given or resold at an affordable price, even teaching English to an immigrant. If this doesn't strike your fancy, maybe you would like to attend to lost and stray animals, do some community gardening, visit the sick or elderly. You will find that your focus grows from your own self to others, and this will strengthen you, while also building your self-esteem. You will rediscover a purpose in life, if you ever lost one or didn't yet find it, you will find it.

Please come back and enter into the additional comments provided right underneath your question, how you've been doing with this. This would be considerate to those of us who have read your question, and might help us further in assisting and answering your question.

Answer 2

One of the things I really, really like to do in my spare time (which is rare, because I'm a happily married father of three children) - is ride my motorcycle. Believe me, it's not just a rush - it really helps you clear your head. If you get out on the bike, and go somewhere alone, far as you can, and just think of you getting there on the bike - taking the best, twisty roads, really seeing what you can do with your bike - it's a "mind wash". It really helps.

You seem to have everything going for you. Obviously, it's something in your environment that is causing this feeling. Take a weekend or a holiday, get a nice touring bike (a BMW or a Ducati), take some lessons if you don't know how to ride - and just get out of the city. Ride into the country. Alone. Take your cell phone so that you can call someone if you get in trouble - but just get on the bike and go. Don't plan on anything, just wing it. Joy ride! Believe me, when I get depressed like that (I don't think I've ever considered suicide, but...everyone gets a little depressed sometime) - nothing is more soothing than just getting away from it all for a while.

On top of that, you'll pick up a new hobby - I guarantee it! I can't get enough of the sport! I ride 40+ miles one way to work, and can't wait until I have to ride it back home in the evening.

Stay positive - you'll be alright. Look at the bright side, you'll learn something new and fun, and you'll escape for a little while. You'll have something that you love to do, to talk about, and you become a "brother" with anyone on a bike from that time forth - complete strangers want to talk to you about what you ride, where you ride, how many miles you've put on the bike, etc.

Whatever you do, 26 is way to young to consider hanging it up! You've got way too much going for you - you're on your way to the big time - just keep going - and take a riding break when you can!

Answer 3

Dear Golden Child:

Boy can I relate! My story is yours exactly, except that I'm a female and twice your age. I struggled with depression for 10 long hellish years before I sought professional help. Finally, with medication, I began to live my life for the first time. I curse myself that I wasted all that time by not seeking help. You have a chemical imbalance in your brain that IS NOT YOUR FAULT!. It's just the way you are wired and the only cure for it is medication. Don't think you are crazy or week for getting on meds, they will give you back your life. I wish so badly I could meet you face to face to ensure that you get the help you need. I know how horrible the black jello is and I hurt for you! But with the right help you will have a fantastic life. It's like the blind being able to see. Don't let the stigma of mental illness keep you from seeking help. You can have your life back, just pick up the phone. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 4

Not to be callous, but welcome to adulthood!

You are experiencing the first signs of overacheiveritis. Not that what you are doing is necessarily bad. It's just that you have to balance what you do with downtime.

The fastest and best cure is meditation. You have to make time to save yourself from the constant activity your mind is in. The mind loves to be active, but the body can only tolerate so much mental activity before it starts to stage a walkout... that's depression.

If this sounds like oversimplification, it is because that is first and foremost exactly what you need. The body only tolerates so much ambition before it shuts down. The technical term is adrenal exhaustion. The adrenal glands are the basis of all your energy reserves. Use them up and you have nothing left to even defend yourself with in a fight. You may feel like you are speeding along, but you are going nowhere and your nerves are shot.

I'm not telling you to quit your job or disregard doctor's orders, but meditation should always be the first thing you do before making any decision. Meditation can only help, as opposed to the meds everybody takes nowadays that can go either way over time.

You really don't need instructions to meditate, they are everywhere, and everyone knows instinctively how to do it anyway.

You just breathe (keep breathing) and watch your mind and body instead of running them. After what seems like forever, if you can keep alert, you will realize that your mind and body are the center of the universe and feel a greater sense of calm, security and most importantly, gratitude. The feelings will be separate from the ideas and you will become a greater person as a result of clearing your mind and holding to a higher intention than just simple tasking.

You may have programmed yourself to mantain an unnatural brainwave pattern with your lifestyle and you may have to make painful sacrifices, like postponing a vacation, giving up caffeine or going to bed early every night.

Better you do it than have it done for you. You have a great life, now you must learn how to maintain balance or risk losing it all. Meditation is the key.

Don't be surprised if afterwards you think you figured something else out, don't let that something else steal all the glory from the act of doing nothing. It happens!

Peace

Answer 5

You may have low serotonin levels. You may need to change your lifestyle as far as eating habits, exercising, getting out in the sun more often. A few foods that contain serotonin are turkey, bananas and whole wheat bread. Also take a multivitamin with all the B vitamins in it. Also make sure you relax. When you stress it uses serotonin and take time everyday to do little things that make you happy (gardening, reading, dipping your toes in a creek etc) that helps raise serotonin. Exercise and the sun also help raise serotonin. And most important be happy with what you have, dont try to compete with others when it comes to material things. Fill your life with what you want and what makes you happy, not what other people have or think you should have. Hang in there. This to shall pass. You will feel better.

Answer 6

www.guyfinley.com, completely changed the direction of my life. Buy his books. Read them, they'll change your outlook. Vernon Howard, his books might be even better.

Jonathan Haidt (a psychologist), the book called "Happiness Hypothesis". He mentions three different methods of turning your life around into happiness. 1)Meditation, 2)Positive Cognitive Therapy (look it up, seriously, this is probably the main one that changed my life around). And unfortunately third he mentioned Prozac, but he said with meditation (which has scientifically proven positive psychological results such as higher self-esteem, more trust of others, and overall better feelings), and cognitive therapy should be enough.

Before I stumbled onto this stuff, I was living in an insecure, dark, threatening cloud, and I was never happy (If I was it was short lived), but now, although it hasn't happened overnight, I've become a lot more happy, and I love life and its experiences way more, and its getting better by the day. Trust me here.

Give this advice six months before you go to a shrink who's just gonna throw you on medication. If after the six months you don't see yourself improving, then go ahead.

Email me if you got any questions, I've been there before, bro.

Answer 7

If you're considering suicide, then counseling is in order. If you are making a plan or something, just go to the emergency room instead.

As for stopping being depressed, I think you need prof. help first of all. But a redirection of thinking is also needed. For me, I have "clinical depression," but what I had to do was to stop telling myself and reminding myself how depressed I was all the time. There's a lot more involved, however. Anyway, I wish you the best, get help, OK?

Love Jack

Answer 8

you are blessed but I never heard you say you are blessed , you have a lot of things ,what are you giving back, do you help anyone ,doing something for someone else , make a thanksgiving basket for the needy, go visit someone in the hospital don't matter if you know them or not , take a stuff toy to a kid who is sick and may never see Christmas,volunteer at one of the soup kitchens for the holiday, 2 thanksgivings ago I was a day care mom , I told my parents that each child needed to bring at lease 1 can of food and I would buy a turkey for the basket for thanksgivings day, I was on welfare , living in low income housing
and had 3 grand kids I was raising ,I called the school and got the name of a family who was in need and we gave this basket to them even though the kids ( I only has 6 in my care ) did not have enough food to fill the basket, I brought the rest, it felt so good to help someone .we all have a purpose in life, you have to find yours

Answer 9

For me it was CBT (cognitve behavioural therapy) that made the difference, I had been on various antidepressants in the past which did nothing except smother feelings.
I was never suicidal but did idiate about it.
There's no harm in asking you doctor to be referred for this treatment.
As you know nice clothes and lots of money are hardly here or there in the depression stakes,so don't wonder why that doesn't help, but a loving family is a huge advantage.-Imagine if you didn't have that.
Anyway I wish you all the best for the future.

Answer 10

There are actually two avenues you can take, turn to God or see a doctor, Try to keep in mind you have to choose to be happy, it is a choice you can make, regardless of circumstances

And yes, you can look at some of the answers your getting here and tell people for the most part bottom line are garbage, still you can choose to be happy