When Somebody Wrongs You, How Do You React??

Question

Forgive and forget??

Extreme vengence??

Blame yourself??

Elaborate if you will please, and fill in the blanks. Thank you.

=)

For the record, do what you will to me. I don't care. Just don't ever hurt my family or friends. It's a whole new ballgame.

I find it extremely difficult to select Best Answer for questions such as this. I'm turning it over to the community for voting. Good luck to all of you, and thanks for the great answers.

=)

Answer 1

I usually go through a few things. First, I get defensive. Then I start to think about it more and try to figure out if I may have done anything to contribute to the situation. If I can figure out ways in which I may have contributed, I try to rectify it. If I can't, I usually then forgive & forget, though I may also just try to avoid putting myself in a situation where it could happen again (possibly just avoiding the person).

I don't always do this and am sometimes less successful in conflict resolution than others (I tend to not communicate as well as I should in such situations), but I think generally this is my response.

Answer 2

You can forgive but you may not forget. We are all human and we are going to mess up and make mistakes. The Bible tells us that if we want to be forgiven then we must forgive. We, also are not to take vengeance into out own hands because God said that vengeance is His. Examine the situation and honestly accept responsibility for the part that you may have contributed and apologize. If you are not guilty of anything then you should not blame yourselves. You are the only one that can decide and making the wrong decision may be disastrous.

Answer 3

Depends on the wrong.

Take this recent one:

My boss hired me a new supervisor, and working with him has been absoultely great. I learned more engineering in the first two weeks he was there than in the entire year previous. In general, I really like my new supervisor. On my birthday, I decided to go out to buy myself a sandwich for lunch. Because it is my habit to eat at my desk, I informed my supervisor that I would be going out.

"No, you can't," he said. "Your lunch time is from 12 to 12:30."

Now, the office policy has always been lunch is any time between 11 and 2, as long as you let the secretaries know when you go out. I protested with facts, but he was adamant.

Well, first I stewed for a day.

Then I complained to some of my colleagues, until I saw the humour in it.

Then I talked with my supervisor about it, when I was no longer upset, and we reached a mutually acceptable agreement.

I think that's my general pattern. I could probably improve by thinking to myself instead of talking to other people, until I am no longer upset about a situation, but when I just think, I tend to get more upset, not less. Still, I think it is wrong to talk about a person behind their back.

Answer 4

Depends on how much that wrong effects me, and how self controlling I am at the moment.

Most of the time, for most daily things, I forgive and forget, because they don't really matter.

Other times, I wish I didn't, but I'll hold a grudge for while, which does nothing but make me bitter.

I suppose if someone tried to really hurt someone in my family you might see the extreme vengeance come out (yeah there's definitely a protective mama-bear in me).

Answer 5

I have chosen to forgive and go on with my life. Forgetting is impossible in these instances but I can forgive.I cannot forget being molested as a child nor raped as a teen. I cannot forget losing a child at birth due to a Doctors mistake but I can learn from these experiences, forgive those who hurt me, and go forward from there.

Answer 6

the only person that has wronged me is my ex husband. What did I do about it? Took him to court and he was thrown in jail for not paying child support. when he doesn't pay me for medical bills i file with the court and he pays. I have never blamed myself for his bad deeds nor have I taken extreme vengeance on him, but boy... the stories I have thought in my mind to get rid of him.. they were not very nice. Yeah yeah, I am Christian, but I have a heart and feelings and don't like anyone messing with my kids,,, even their father. Let me just say that I hate him less than I did 4 years ago.. I am working on it!!!!

Answer 7

My first reaction is to blame myself. Then I try to figure out if it really was me or them. Then I try to see if there's anything I can learn from the exchange. Then I try to understand what would cause someone to act the way they did and find some compassion for them. Then I forgive.

That doesn't mean that I act like nothing is wrong if it's an ongoing sort of problem or if someone is consistently abusive, but I release them from the debt of it. I may alter my exposure to their behavior, but I don't harbor ill feelings or want any harm to come to them.

Answer 8

I think I probally do neither, since it is not my job to blame or to judge I let the universe take care of people who do harm to others. The Universal law of Karma is something that no one can escape from. SO when someone does me wrong I ask what was it that I learned from this wrong and what is it that they will learn from wronging someone. This dosent mean that I allow someone to use me as an emotional dishrag. But I have found it is from our mistakes that we truly learn how to be better people.And for those who continue their mistakes knowing.

KARMA IS A *****, THAT SUMS IT UP. I wish you well

Answer 9

Get over it and move along. You will die an early death before you get an apology from most people so do not even expect one. If youhold in the anger and resentment then you have allowed them to have an even larger hold on you. You allow them to control your emotions. You should be in control of your emotions, not the other way around. Sure it is natural to be angry, but be angry and then deal.

Answer 10

it depends on how badly i've been wronged...
most of the time, i get angry first...then i pray or meditate. if that doesn't stop my anger, i just run. i run so hard until i am exhausted. or, i talk to one of my best friends who is 50 years older than i am, who knows way more than i do about life. after i'm done being angry, i ususally try to talk to the person. if they only offer me drama, negative energy, and cannot apologize for hurting me (even if i have offered an apology first), then i just cut them off. i continue to be civil to them and love them from a far, but as far as continuing a relationship with them, i'm not interested. i hope for the best for them, and wish them well for the journey, but that's all i can do. i try to avoid drama as much as possible. i'm really only interested in surrounding myself with people who have positive energy, people who lift others up, people who don't try to bring me down, steal what i have, or judge me. life is too short to let people hurt you. life is also too short to not forgive. i forgive pretty easily..but i still let go of people who aren't healthy for my vibe.

peace,
lss