I gave it 23 yrs. I got tired of the emotional abuse and verbal abuse. Our kids are l8,20, and l2.. We broke up 2 times before but I always felt sorry for him, and went back. I went to counseling and he attended 3 times. Needless to say, it didn't work. We went to church off and on for about 13 years. Even joining the church didn't help. We haven't been intimate in 3 or 4 yrs. I have prayed and prayed. Stay married for the kids sake ? I am afraid of making God mad at me. I am a teacher and he is a VP of a company. We have never seen eye to eye. We got married for the wrong reasons. (just to get married) He is not a Christian. We were unequally yoked and I tried to help him spiritually. Sometimes he was open and sometimes not. He has a bad temper, is moody, and a workaholic. He is bad at namecalling and being obsessive compulsive. He thinks everyone is an idiot. I came from an alcoholic father in the home....I just want to be at peace for a change. What do I do?
2006-09-28 05:02:50 · 13 answers · asked by greeneyes 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I am struggling with this decision. I made the mistake of marrying a non-christian. So do I sacrifice and hang in there or move on. ??????
2006-09-28 05:04:30 · update #1
Well friend...heres what I say about that....God is true and just and he knows your heart. That is so true about being unequally yoked to unbelievers..I have heard that for years before I married how serious marriage was in life. It is the next most important decision next to devoting your life to God. I would say pray to God he knows when we have had all we can stand. There is a song the issacs sing "He understands my tears" very true. He knows when we have all we can stand on us and all we can bear. Ask him to move now.........seek him day and night..for this.....that means whole heartidly.......in the morning when you wake up seek him....at work or during the day...at lunch.......and at dinner and before you go to bed. Do this for as long as you can and beg him daily to move for you and come by. He will not fail you...if your heart is true to him and you are seriously praying..he will deliver you like he did daniel from the lions den.....and jonah fromt the belly of a whale. I can testify to that...I had a problem that seemed like it would face me the rest of my life....I could run from it....however I prayed and prayed and sought it out.......God has delivered me from it after years of continual deliberation..it wasn't the way I planned or even the way I really wanted it to......but none the less he made a way. He said he would make a way for our escape........and that he wouldn't place anything on us to hard to bare. Love him.........pray for your husband to find that first love again with you........and whatever you do.....treat him with kindness and try (I know this is hard for a woman) no matter what to not argue with him...let him feel you are on his side and you will forever be his. Men love the security of knowing that there wife will be there for them through thick and thin. Keep your head up friend...remember God said he would never leave us....he sometimes carries us.......just like the poem...footprints in the sand. That said there were two sets of footprints in the sand.........and when things got rough there was only one set...and man questioned "God I thought you said you would never leave me"....God answererd...."When there was only one set It was mine....I picked you up and carried you through".........touching and true still today!
2006-09-28 05:35:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know that this is not going to be the popular vote, and not the easy way.
I believe from what you've said that you should get separated and get yourself into counseling and into a good relationship with God.
It may be that when you are different, he may see that in order to stay married he's going to have to change. If he changes, you could have a strong relationship. I believe we choose partners because we have something to teach them and something to learn from them. The less compatible you seem after the vows, the more work it takes to see what those lessons are and to implement them.
It may be that nothing will change his behavior because it is so ingrained. In which case, divorce is probably inevitable.
The unpopular part of my take on this is that I believe Jesus taught that one may not remarry unless their spouse is unfaithful. So while you may divorce, I don't believe God would honor you "moving on" in the sense of a new relationship unless your husband is sexually unfaithful to you. I know that would be hard.
Staying and pretending is not going to help anything, and it may get you hurt or killed. Getting help may mean that you cultivate a better relationship than you ever dreamed possible. That's tough. It means doing the hard work and leaving the results in God's hands. I believe He is faithful and can be trusted. But in your situation, I could understand why you might not feel as confident.
Please find someone who can counsel you and help you find safety first and foremost. Work on healing yourself and developing your relationship with God.
2006-09-28 05:18:30 · answer #2 · answered by Contemplative Chanteuse IDK TIRH 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let me answer you from the bible, which is my basis for everything. God has given adultery or desertion as the only reasons for divorce. That being said, He is also a compassionate and forgiving God. I got a divorce, while I was a Christrian, and it was not for either of those two biblical reasons. I was terribly upset to have done this, because I love God. But I just couldn't stay married. He forgave me and restored my life.
However, the bible says this: "a woman is not to leave her husband, but if she does, she is to remain unmarried...". That is what I will do. I don't even date. I am not telling you this is what you have to do, but I am very serious about God's word. I appropriate His promises for me, and I think it's only fair I follow His admonitions as well.
Know that God loves you and there is nothing that He will not forgive if a person truly repents.
2006-09-28 05:07:28 · answer #3 · answered by Esther 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You say it yourself - God has nothing to do with it. You are not yet ready for your relationship. You are still a very young girl, and you don't psychologically ready for the burdens and worries of the relationship. Ad\nd to tell you the truth, don't rush it or try to push yourself into it. You will always be a grown-up, but no more a young adolescence or youth. Enjoy your life unique at every age. As for God, He didn't tell us to wait. He said, there is a season for each thing. Like season for blooming, season for yielding fruit, season for sawing and season for reaping. All of that is to warn us from the mistakes we may do, if rushing into things without giving them a better thought.
2016-03-26 21:23:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Verbal, emotional, psychological, spiritual, physical or sexual abuse is sinful, demonic and a violation of the marriage covenant. It can be so damaging to the victim, if they stay, that their identity in CHRIST, faith, godliness, and relationship with GOD can, in cases, become irreparabley harmed. I have seen cases where women who were in love with GOD and were thriving but after marrying a narcissist their lives and relationship with GOD were destroyed...some to the point of turning away from GOD. Study narcissistic abuse. Specifically Covert Narcissism or Malignant Covert Narcissism and cluster b personality disorders. It is a hellish nightmare finding yourself in a relationship with a person like this and believe me the only right thing to do to save yourself and your soul is GET OUT and stay NO CONTACT. The spirits behind Narcissism is also referred to in the Church as the Jezebel. It is actually heavy duty relentless control and manipulation, lies and witchcraft without remorse
2016-12-02 10:22:42 · answer #5 · answered by Krista 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do what you feel right, if you're being abused, then God will understand if you leave. Remember you also need think about you're children, who are now older, so can help you make and informed decision.
Also make sure you talk to people, friends, anybody you trust.
God will not be mad at you, come on, seriously, his son died for our sins so we can be forgiven time and time again.
2006-09-28 05:11:09 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ Bekka ♥ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a child of God, he wants you to be happy. It sounds like you have pretty much tried everything to no avail. Go on with your life and if you feel that you are letting God down (which you aren't) than pray for his forgiveness. I will be praying for you in whatever decision you make.
2006-09-28 05:08:19 · answer #7 · answered by Mauki90 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Any thing that is getting in the way of your own relationship with GOD is not a good thing your kids are all grown and I'm sure they understand a little more, but i think you should let go of that burden and have faith that GOD will provide something new...
2006-09-28 05:07:28 · answer #8 · answered by Cygnus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out. God doesn't expect you to live with him being unhappy and miserable. Abuse and adultery are acceptable reasons for divorce. If you're not sure of divorce, then get a legal separation and keep giving him a chance. He may come around, and if he does, there's still hope for your marriage and happiness.
2006-09-28 05:09:18 · answer #9 · answered by Red neck 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, pray about it. Then do what your heart tells you is the right thing for you and for your children. God will answer your prayer.
2006-09-28 05:15:53 · answer #10 · answered by Open Heart Searchery 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋