my boyfriend and i fight all the time we fight about everything from sex to football i hate to fight but he seems to always pick them with me. i tried to talk things out but it only makes them worse. he has hit me once or twice but i don't want to break up.. is there anyway to make thing work. we dso love each other..
2006-09-28 04:59:08 · 42 answers · asked by Kay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i spelles do wrong sorry
2006-09-28 04:59:53 · update #1
spelled instead of spelles
2006-09-28 05:00:30 · update #2
compromise, the best key for success.
2006-09-28 05:01:17 · answer #1 · answered by prince47 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First of all he does not love you. I'm sorry to say that but any man/boy who hits a woman is not a man in love and not a man at all. Second if he is picking the fights he is doing it to be controlling. You've heared this over and over again but you need to get out of that relationship ASAP. You don't need to be in an abusive relationship. If hes hit you more than once then he will continue to hit you. You need to leave while your still young and have some confidence in you. If not then he will beat you physically and emontionally and you don't need that. I understand you think you love him but this is not love and hopefully you can understand this. Love isn't where somebody beats down the other person or picks fights with the other person. When love finds you you will know it. But until then save yourself from the beginning and leave ASAP. I'm sorry to have to say this but this is coming from a man who hates to see other men/boys hit a female. He doesn't know what he has and your missing out of something beautiful as love. I really hope you make the right decision because there really isn't any way to make things work. I'm Sorry, I hope i've been of some help. Good Luck and you will be in my thoughts as I think you will be with everyone who answers you.
2006-09-28 05:07:41 · answer #2 · answered by The Plague 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend has an insecurity problem and in order to regain control he argues and belittles you, to make himself feel powerful, A man that loves you will not want to control you, he will want to be your partner, You are not responsible for his actions and you can not make him love you. Domestic violence is a huge problem in this country, 8 out of 10 women will be killed this year by a lover or boyfriend, if you stay you are increasing your chances of being included in this number. A relationship takes two people who love and respect each other, you can not make it work alone. I assume you think that if you love him enough he will change but he wont. You need to cut your losses and move on. I suggest seeking help at the national domestic violence center in your area. Take things one day at a time. You can not compromise who you are because you are the only one out there who has the power to move on. Domestic violence is a never ending circle, dont let what they call the honeymoon stage fool you because abusers always hit again and again. Break the cycle before it is too late
2006-09-28 05:12:46 · answer #3 · answered by confusedpatricia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a verb, it's something you do. Hitting is also a verb and I'm pretty sure it's not under the definition of love.
Either way, if you're trying to stop the fights from happening without any luck then you're in a relationship with someone who enjoys fighting. Although it takes two to tango, you're basically being dragged onto the dancefloor.
You can't change people, you can only change your reaction to a situation. If you've told them you don't want to fight, gone silent when an argument begins, walked away and he pursues you to keep 'fighting' then you're in a losing battle. You can't make him into a person who doesn't enjoy fighting and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll put your energy towards someone more like yourself who wants to keep the harmony.
I'm sorry to say, but actions speak louder than words and if you're remaining in a relationship knowing he enjoys fighting then in a way you enjoy fighting. It's like standing in the rain saying you hate getting wet but refuse to open your umbrella. Make your actions speak for themselves and stop the fight for good. Walk away for good.
2006-09-28 05:06:29 · answer #4 · answered by Brianna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u may love him but if he has hit u then u need to get out teach him a lesson he starts the fights does that not make u wonder why he wants u to rise to the ocation and hit him but don't.Stand up to him and make him beg to be with u and u say that u don't want to split up then talk but have a third party there so that he can not back out of the talk if that not work then u leave him and make him beg for u cos he will or move on find some body who will treat u with the respect that u deserve don't take it any longer tell him that u will not put up with it any more ok
2006-09-28 05:13:05 · answer #5 · answered by spud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you two are not meant to be together. Love doesnt include hitting, or fighting all the time. Move on and find a guy that wont hit you or doesnt always pick fights with you and then you will see what true love is and will be so happy you dropped this guy. You deserve so much better than this guy. Good luck
2006-09-28 05:03:03 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of times you can justify the hitting by saying that you know that he still loves you. However, just because you love someone does not mean that you can physically abuse them. If you are fighting all of the time then it is a good sign that you need to be done with the relationship. If you are not having fun with the relationship and feel like there is nothing to do but fight you need to be done.
2006-09-28 05:02:37 · answer #7 · answered by nice_guyminnesota 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand how it feels to be in love with a man that hits you! I have been there and it was the most difficult time in my life.
What you have to come to understand is that no matter what you do, he will not change unless he wants it. What you need to do is distance yourself from the relationship immediately. Tell him that you love him and you want him to get help for his anger issues. Let him know that IF he is willing to help himself, you would be willing to discuss the possiblity of working things out in the future. In the meantime, you need to work on building your self-esteem, so that you realize that you are worth more than an abusive relationship can ever offer you. Don't make excuses for him!! No man should EVER put his hands on a woman!! No exceptions-not ever!!
If you stay in this relationship, and he doesn't get help, his abusive episodes will increase. You will find yourself in a mess that you never imagined possible! Trust me!
You need to step away! If he truley loves you, he will be willing to get help. Then, and only then, should you ever consider being in a relationship with him again.
Good luck!
2006-09-28 05:16:04 · answer #8 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a relationship, punching each other in the face over football and sex of all things. I think you two are meant for each other because no one else would do that or put up with that crap. If you want help then leave that couch slug and find a real man that might treat you with at least a little respect whether you want it or not
2006-09-28 05:08:15 · answer #9 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, sit down and think about this: do you want to be a punching bag all your life? Do you respect yourself? Doesn't sound like it. The "hitting" get's worse down the line. If your friends and family know about this, and see you don't make your move to change it, the hitting gets worse, and then no-one will be there when you need them.
Hitting isn't love sweety! It's NOT!! He doesn't love you. You may love him, but I'm thinking it's more thast you have no respect for yourself.
Get out!
2006-09-28 05:05:01 · answer #10 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, seriously. Listen to me...
No matter what he says, IF HE IS HITTING YOU, HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU!!!
Please, call a friend, parent, police officer, clergy person, or other supportative person whom you trust and explain what's going on. Then, ask them help you get out of this abusive relationship ASAP!
You may not realize it, but you are marching down the road where the emotional hurt of constant fighting will descend into the physical hurt of constant abuse...or worse.
Remember...no matter what he says, if he's hitting you, he doesn't love you.
2006-09-28 05:00:17 · answer #11 · answered by Silver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋