but I have been in 3 long term relationships, one was almost 8 years, I wanted kids he didn't (I knew he didn't want kids when we started dating)I thought I could change his mind, and his job paid him alot and we went on great trips....the second was 3 years and now this one has been 4 years. I am 44 years old, single own my own home. Have a great job as a SLP, I stay in great shape and I am not bad to look at. WHY won't any of these guys marry me? Is it something I am doing wrong? Should I push them? Do I leave them sooner to give myself a chance to meet somebody else? Maybe guys in Madison Wi just like to be single? Help I need advice.
2006-09-28 04:42:58 · 25 answers · asked by Ames 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i am appalled by some of the idiot responses you got here, and i apologize that you had to read them! as yourself, i am in a situation where i've met guys but that was a dead end street-i am in my final yr of med school-so it immediately brings up the financial bubbles of making loads of money: that's the typical and tasteless response i get from most ppl-and honestly it is a big turn off-hence, dating has been a bit of a challenge, coz i don't know if someone is dating me for who i am or what i will be doing in the future and playing sugar mommy to someone-the truth is while i was in med school and in my clerkships, yes, i met some men with potential, but when it came to the big talk on getting married, that was it...i think some men have issues with having a mate that is as equal as them-it's a power struggle--and that's the problem-i think most women in power positions either stay single or marry someone that is not as educated as them- i suppose that's a compromise that one must be comfortable making-and by the way, i've been in a 13 yr on again, off again relationship myself which i finally walked out of last yr! this guy was working for managment at a home depot...so not exactly "status" oriented, though i don't think like that but when you are in a circle of white collar pro's, you are expected to marry and live in certain districts...i don't think i am fabricating that, that's purely observation-
recently i met someone that was in med school but then opted to return to his business that he owned before going to med school-he's in the auto-repair line of work-though he's not a dr, i am happy that he is more headstrong about marriage and committment to me-and i think when you are able to talk to someone and relate to someone about your inner fears and dreams, that's a big blessing in itself!
why don't you log onto eharmony.com? that seems like a safe and legitimate site-and i'm surey you'll meet ppl that are serious about getting married-no way should you go depriving your beautiful and wonderful self to selfish men! as my dad has always said, there's someone for everyone! you can email me at riakapur4@yahoo.com if you'd like to resume contact...good luck and god bless!
2006-09-28 04:55:44 · answer #1 · answered by ria k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um have you been happy in all your relationships? Have things gone wrong when you brought up marriage. If you go into a relationship thinking the last one wasted 3 years 4 years 8 years of my life hope this one workds, its going to put strain on it whether your aware of it at the time or not. I have a 32 year friend with the same problem and each guy she would have married and each guy has told me that they felt pressured and as though everything had to planned for well in advance, that she could never just relax. Shes very pretty good job and gets any guy she wants. Try to be happy with you. Try a bit of yoga. Just find you and stop thinking about marriage for a while. You are not flawed.
2006-09-28 04:49:31 · answer #2 · answered by pixilated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you look hungry you will starve to death in the dating game, I don't know what to tell you at 44 I wish you the best. Stop wasting all those years if you don't marry someone in the first 2 years you probalbly won't get married. Spending 8 years going on great trips may have cost you more than you realize.
2006-09-28 04:49:28 · answer #3 · answered by Mr K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need to get married? You shouldn't get married for the sake of being married, but b/c you want to share your life w/ the one you love. Why not focus on being a strong, independent, self-sufficient woman? Do you really want to push someone into marrying you or change them? If so, I'd say regardless of the fact that you're 44 you are NOT ready to get married.
2006-09-28 04:52:14 · answer #4 · answered by SavageLettuce 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well don't think you can change men especially when they are around you age, if i was in your situation i would sign on with match.com, you can list things you want in life like kids, and men who want the same things will respond, you can look at there picture and jobs, and the website guarantees you'll find someone in 6 months or you'll get another 6 months free, i've gone out with a guy i met online before, just try it, what do you have to lose!
2006-09-28 04:49:39 · answer #5 · answered by AFwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not everyone wants to be single, but the guys that you're dating obviously aren't looking for marriage. I would suggest a dating site that would allow you to weed out the one's just looking for a good time and help with your selection process.
The guys looking for committments are looking for stable women like yourself.
2006-09-28 04:49:26 · answer #6 · answered by bardstale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are too successful for them.. why dont you try those dating services you see on the internet. I just watched the movie MUST LOVE DOGS.. cute ... maybe thats what you need to do. If you meet someone and you know off the bat that they dont want children.. they wont change their minds. Men dont change.
2006-09-28 04:48:47 · answer #7 · answered by 2girlsmother 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're pushy and think that you can change people. That is problem number one. You probably focus too much on your career. That is problem number two. If the only good qualities you have are your looks and a good job then you are superficial and materialistic. That is problem number three.
2006-09-28 04:46:11 · answer #8 · answered by camus0281 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mayby before you have sex in your next relationship make sure he knows you want to be married and dont wait so long 6 to 8 months is long enough to know weather you love each other or not
2006-09-28 04:48:01 · answer #9 · answered by mell14716 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read the book "Why Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov.
It should answer your questions and provide valuable insight.
2006-09-28 04:47:08 · answer #10 · answered by txgirl_2_98 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋