Told my teachers I was contemplating breaking my ankle to get out of dance competitions... Now they hate me?

Question

I told my ballet teachers that I hated competing so much that I had seriously asked for advice on how to break or badly sprain my ankle to get out of an upcoming performance. Now they hate me.

They said "be a quitter and pull out, but you'll never become a professional dancer! Go ahead and try to break your ankle, if you succeed the consequences will teach you something" They treat me badly in class now or ignore me completely. I am 17 and on a pre-pro dance program. I am 5'7" and 115 an they keep making quirks about my being overweight and I must be a closet eater and etc, and no docs will help me to lose weight because they say I'm low-normal weight for my height.... I am so stressed out. I don't know what to do.

I should clarify, esp. for the person who called me names. I wasn't being a jerk-off when I told my teachers. I went to them for help. I go to a dance school and we have a school psychologist. They said why did I need help and I said "because I am so depressed right now with all the pressure to lose weight and to compete that I was actually contemplating breaking my own ankle just to get out of dance." I love ballet, and I have been on the pre-pro track since I was 14. I still want to become a dancer or a dance teacher but I want to go to college first so that rules out getting into a major company since I'll be too old. The competitions are in some ways auditions as recruiters from companies come to watch them... that's why it's so important.
I think my teachers should have helped me to talk to someone instead of putting me down. FYI they are both in their 40s and were professional dancers.I don't want to quit, I just feel like I can't lose enough weight for them..

I love to perform, it's just competitions I hate. I once understudied a professional dancer and was able to perform in her place for 2 days because she got ill. I loved it... it's just the fact that my teachers can't see my vertebrae and my thighs almost touch and they're always telling me to lose weight because I'm making the school look like it doesn't care about appearance, which is so important in ballet... That's why I'm stressed.

P.s. Thanks to those who were supportive in their replies... I really need that right now.

Answer 1

If dancing is something that you love, breaking any part of your body is not the route to go. You'll regret it later.

If you have a fear of competition, you need to discuss that with your teachers and see if there are some things you can do to overcome that fear. Quite honestly the only way to overcome your fear is to attack it head on. I know easier said than done, but it's the truth. I'm nervous before performing also, I take deep breaths, say a prayer, and do what I have to do. It works every time.

Since you are in a pre-professional dance program, I'm sure it wasn't easy to get accepted. Maybe your teachers feel like you are wasting their time and aren't really serious about dancing. If that's the case, your comments hurt and angered them and they are acting on those emotions. But that in no way excuses them from their behavior. As teachers they are to support and train and in some cases mentor their students, the treatment you are receiving is absurd and shouldn't be tolerated. I would strongly suggest you speak with them and find out what's with the attitude. If that doesn't work, you need to find another studio that can help you grow into the dancer you one day hope to become.

Answer 2

Switch dance studios. It sounds like these teachers are real witches!

BTW...dont' break your ankle, you'll have pain the rest of your life (I do).

I will say though that if you want to be a professional dancer, it is a very hard and stressfu road. You should probably talk to your parents to see if this is important to you or not.

Your weight is low for your height, but I know that a lot of pressure is put on gymnists, dancers and models to go to unhealthy lengths to be abnormally thin. You also have to decide if you are willing to risk your life and your health to be that thin.

Anorexia can kill you (it kills 1 out of 5 that get it). Bulimia can too and not getting enough nutrition while you are young can leave you with all sorts of problems as you age. So you can be thin now and unhealthy later??? That makes little sense.

If you wish to pursue a career as a dancer, switch studios and then see a nutritionist to help you plan out a diet that is lean, but not unhealthy. Usually lean meats, vegetables and fruit, and complex carbs will work well (and what most of us should eat anyhow). That would mean no soda, and no junk food at all. Again, at your age are you willing to make that sacrifice?

Only you can decide what is best for you.

Answer 3

First, if competing makes you so ill that you would consider hurting yourself to not do it, you are in the wrong place. You must first consider what you want out of life you are only 17 and have the entire world laying at your feet. Are these teachers grown women or a bunch of sniveling little brats who are so frightened by your beauty and talent that they can't seem to say anything productive or actually help you with your angst? You need to take some time, talk to your parents, think hard about what you really want. If you truly want to be a professional dancer then I'm sorry competing is part of it, and you need to learn some other ways of coping with your hatred. By the way is it really hatred or fear of failure??

Answer 4

Why must you compete? why do you hate competing? really, if you hate competing maybe you should just change the way you think about it.. SOOO many people don't care at all about what they're doing they're just insanely driven to WIN and at it. Like there is an empirically quanitfiable best at anything. it's absolutely insane and petty. look don't worry abotu competing with anyone other than yourself, and your own shortcoming. just try to be the best you you can. When you go to a competition just ignore other people's desires and focus on your desire to dance. if you win who cares.. you're there to dance.
Also, that stuff about breaking your ankles is a little nuts. but- it's nuts for a reason you can't really fully understand at 17.
if you mess your ankle up at 17 then at 26 you STILL have ankle problems .. you don't always fully recover from injuries, but you can't really know that. not to mention you can't possibly know what it feels like when someone young and promising (who you're probably living through vicariously) says like... F- you.. I'm breaking my ankles!

Don't damage yourself. you only get one self. take care of it.

Answer 5

You are below the normal weight for your height, but that is how ballet is. They want you to be damn near anorexic skinny. As far as breaking your ankle to get out of a competition... you should consider a different "passion." You are a quitter if you hurt yourself to get out of the competition. They hate you because you are wasting their time. They want to train people who want to compete not those who want to quit. Also, if you break your ankle it will never heal right and you will be feeling it in the next 10-20 years when it doesn't work right anymore. Think about it and don't be stupid. If you don't want to compete then quit ballet.

Answer 6

I badly sprained my ankle about 3 weeks ago. I was in a hurry going down the stairs, lost my balance and landed on a bad side of my left foot, causing my left ankle to be stretched going on the inside. The first 48 hours were excruciating and the pain was un-believable. I've never had a serious ankle injury before.

So I immediately treated it using the RICE method. The following day, the bruising and swelling were so horrible. I found out that I got a second degree sprain and immediately panicked after that. I had a football game on that week and it been looking forward to it because I've been training for rt. I had teammates that had similar injuries and it took them months to fully recover, some of them stopped playing altogether. So I kinda had a short-term depression because I can't imagine myself not being able to run and play sports anymore.

Because I was so desperate to recover again, I contacted a lot of people that I know who do sports and asked them if they had similar injuries. One friend of mine, from the boy's football team in my university, told me about H.E.M. Ankle Rehab. I got a copy 4 days after I got injured. I immediately read and followed what was instructed and felt improvement on the first day. I was able to walk a bit, but I was in pain.

A couple of days after that, the swelling and bruising were subsid-ing significantly and on the fourth day, I was walking comfortably again. Although I've had felt a bit of stiffness, I continued doing what was instructed. My sister was surprised that I have recovered this fast. I told her about this book and was shocked on how effective the procedures were. I'm just so happy that this book was shared to me and how effective it is.

Heal your ankle fully & fast?

Answer 7

Eeek.
Well, first off don't worry about your weight at all!!!!
Second, competitions, I think that this point in time you've done enough of them to learn from them and learn what you need to work on right?

Are there other studios you could go to?
That would probably be your best bet.

If you pull out of competitons you're not going to be a quitter and yes you can still become a pro.

I'd look for another studio.

Answer 8

Is being a ballet dancer really that important to you?

This seems like a very unhealthy situation. These are not good people for you to be around.

However... you should watch your attitude around people who are trying to teach you something. No one likes a person who is a constant downer, so keep that in mind.

Answer 9

Why are you and your parents tolorating this kind of abuse? It's your decision. If you want out of ballet and competitions then quit......... if your parents won't listen..talk to your counselor at school. Believe it or not they CAN help. This could really turn on you and you could be setting yourself up for a life of depression. Take it from someone much older than you........ you deserve to be happy.

Answer 10

The hell with them all. No laws in this world or the next say you have to respect these people. You'd be surprised how easy it is to look away from their stupid faces and walk away. Quiet time to yourself is actually more comforting then seeing the retarded looks people feel good about giving.