does anyone out there feel this way?

Question

Yesterday I went to the bank, and spoke to a teller who was really upset. She said she had gotten a call from the school, and her 12 year old daughter stood up in class, and told her teacher to **** off!! The mother was so upset she could barely count my cash. She said the prinicipal even said her daughter told her she is never home. The woman works all day to provide for her two children. She is a single mother that is chastised for not being at home with her children so she can provide a living for them. She receives very little benefits from the government, but because of this her family is put under a microscope. In the meantime the all governing eye points the finger at her. I felt so bad for her. She was in tears crying what do I do? I try so hard but it never seems to be enough, she said. My question is when do we as a society recognize that in essence we should be pointing the finger at ourselves for failing mothers like this who try so very hard.

Answer 1

Rather than pointing fingers, wich my mommy taught me is rude, identify the problem and make a change for the better. Problems are creations of self, there is no magic answer to that, but we can help others even in little ways, alot of little help can make a huge posative result.

Answer 2

I am a teacher, and in my experience, the apple never falls far from the tree. Kids who have those types of behaviors learn it from somewhere. So the mother has to work a lot. Bank hours aren't that bad! Is she home the rest of the time, or out dating or clubbing? Many people who have jobs manage to raise respectful children. And my question to YOU is, how do you know the mother "tries so hard"? Because she works as a bank teller? You have no idea how she has been with her children, or if she has been a good parent. I work in an inner-city VERY BAD school. The kids behavior or lack of has nothing to do with the parental income. It has to do with their personalities and morals. I have kids that come from NOTHING (but a loving parent), and they don't behave like that!!! It is very easy to say "we" as a society have failed that mother, but I truly beleive that her kids are a reflection of who she is as a person.

Answer 3

tough situation, I was a single mom for a while too when my first husband died.. its difficult but some people choose to be single moms, like often teens who get pregnant and know there is not going to be a "dad" and yet they keep the kid - then have the nerve to expect sympathy.. I dont think people should always be held under a microscope but there are people who made choices based on selfish reasons rather than putting the kid first....

single parents can do well if they are willing to live cheaply - however all too often they insist on driving new cars, having cell phones etc..
I lived cheaply - working for minimum wage (part time) and STILL managed to save for a down payment on a house! its all about priority

Answer 4

I'm a single mother and have been for over 14 years, I make too much money for govrnmental help, and there are times that I feel like I am at the end of my rope too. My son is bipolar and medicaid keeps getting cut. So it gets harder,to keep him in meds they will cover. But I don't worry about what other people think of me, I am raising my children without any ones help( including their dad's) and I am doing it to the best of my capability and I can only hope and pray that my kids turn out right.

Answer 5

I agree, it is very hard being a single parent. I live in such a depressed area and make NO money whats so ever. Daycare is priced so high too, on top of everythig else. Maybe a suggestion, Daycare in your home? I am so considering this. People pay min of 130. a week for one kid. Let me know if you need to talk.

Answer 6

Sadly, this is just far too common nowadays. Why are the women being chastized? Where are the men? The men get to make babies, then toddle off and be irresponsible, leaving a woman to care for the kids and support them - all on her own - but no one is putting the loser men down. It's like it's okay. This kills me!! Women just need to learn to be choosier about who they have children with, I think. Be careful who you go to bed with and protect yourself.

Answer 7

You sound like a compassionate person. If this is someone you see often try to encourage her. Her daughter needs to get involved in something. Sports, a church group, Girl Scouts, anything to get her focused on something else. I hope this mom finds the help she needs.

Answer 8

Nice!

Answer 9

ok

Answer 10

AMEN!