ok i'm 16 and i'm pregnant and i want to give my baby up for adoption but my imediate family said i'll be a disgrace to the family. and they will never look at me the same again. i have no way of taking care of this child and i refuse to drop out of school. the people that i'm giving it to is married and a christian going family and have the money to take care of it. but tell me i'm i making the right decision? for my sake and the child
2006-09-28 03:10:50 · 14 answers · asked by stepteambeckycherries 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Yes child your are, bless you for doing such an honorable thing for your baby and that family. Your family will get over it. After all is said and done, you'll be fine.
You made my day. It's not often you see such a smart young lady. I know you made a bad decision on having unprotected sex, and now you can right it. Just remember to get on some sort of BC after this,
2006-09-28 03:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by momie_2bee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are several options available to you if you do not want to keep the baby. Ultimately whatever decision you make, YOU will have to live with, not your family. Having an abortion is one of your options, but if you do not want to do that and have decided to carry the baby to term but can not take care of it, giving the child up for adoption is a great choice. I presume that you have gone through an adoption agency and followed all the appropriate channels.
It seems as though you have already made up your mind to stay in school (which is great) and if you can not provide the kind of life you think this baby deserves, allowing another deserving family to adopt the child is a very wise and mature decision.
As far as your family goes, if they love you, they should support your decision no matter what you do. They may be angry at first, but eventually should come around. Once you have decided what you will do, stand your ground. Doing the right thing is never easy especially when your family is not behind you. And if your family sees you as a disgrace to them then unfortunately there is nothing you can do about that. Their opinion may not change and it seems that they are not seeing you this way because you want to give the child up for adoption, but probably because you got pregnant in the first place. Hopefully once they see that you can make smart and mature decisions they will be able to move past your mistake. Good Luck.
2006-09-28 10:31:05 · answer #2 · answered by Valery 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 30 years old. and I was pregnant at 16 as well. I had my family tell me the opposite. I wouldn't amount to anything if I keep my child. I had my child when I was 17. Graduated with my class (on time) when I was 18. Got my bachelor's degree 4 years after that, and now I make more money than them. I've been married for 3 years now and just had 2nd child. My point is that anything can be accomplished with hard work and determination. My determination was not to be a teenage mother statistic. With my determination over those years, I'm able to sit back in my home that I own, with my wonderful husband, and 2 beautiful children, and reap the rewards of my hardwork.
So,... If your only doing this because it sounds like a easy way out, don't do it... You always hear the bad stories of teenage pregancy, But, I'm living proof that you can still achieve after a teen pregnancy. I' know if I would have made that decision, sooner or later down the road knowing I have a child out there would be the worst feeling ever. You just have to decide if you can live with that.
2006-09-28 10:31:46 · answer #3 · answered by BB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no one can tell you that you know what is best.
I had a child at 15 and did NOTdrop out of school. My mom helped me some ( lived with her) But as soon as I was 18 I moved out. My son is 10 this year. I don't regret keeping him. I made the right choice for me and him.
If your family don't want you to give the baby up, are they willing to adopt or help you?
In the end its up to you and they will get over it. ( I would have a hard time knowing my child wanted to give up their child too, I would feel like its my family as well. but Id adopt ti or help care for it though)
If the only re son you want o give the baby up is scared of not being able to do it, you can if you put your mind to it.
I did and we all do great now. I'm a mother of 2 with about 2 years in between there. I finished school, went to medical school and now going back for a business degree.
Good luck!
2006-09-28 10:41:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WELL I WAS ALSO 16 AND PREGNANT (I AM NOW 25). I HAD A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE. MY MOTHER WAS SO UPSET W/ME SHE TOLD ME I WAS TO GET RID OF IT (ABORTION) NOT EVEN AN OPTION 4 ME. SHE GOT OVER IT AND I HAD A GIRL THAT SHE LOVES DEARLY. NOW I NO YOUR SITUATION IS A BIT DIFFERENT BUT I THINK U NEED TO WAY YOUR OPTIONS AND CHOOSE WHAT IS BEST 4 U AND IF U FEEL GIVING THIS CHILD UP 4 ADOPTION IS BEST THEN MORE POWER TO U. BUT REMEMBER TO REALLY THINK BECAUSE ONCE U DO THERE IS NO GOING BACK. BUT IF U THINK U WANT TO BECAUSE U WANT TO FINISH SCHOOL AND STUFF U STILL CAN I DID IT DID ON TIME AND EVERYTHING. I AM NOT GOING TO LIE IT'S A HARD ROAD BUT ONE I WOULDN'T CHANGE FOR ANYTHING. IF U R NOT READY FOR THAT COMMITMENT THEN MAYBE GIVING THIS CHILD UP IS BEST 4 U. JUST MAKE THE DECISION W/THE CHILD IN MIND AND FOR WHAT IS BEST 4 HIM/HER. NO ONE CAN TELL U WHAT IS BEST THAT IS FOR U TO DECIDE. ALSO IT WOULDN'T BE FAR 4 U TO SAY U R GIVING THIS CHILD UP THEN CHANGE YOUR MIND IN THE END THAT WOULD CRUSH THIS FAMILY WAITING 4 YOUR CHILD. PLEASE DON'T 4 GET ABOUT THAT DON'T GET THERE HOPES UP. I WISH U THE BEST!
2006-09-28 11:02:30 · answer #5 · answered by ROSIE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you feel that you can't take care of your baby than you should give your child up. I don't think you will be a disgrace. I think it takes more courage to give up the baby than to keep it and not be able to take care of the baby properly. It is good that you are continuing your education that is important. In the end you have to be at peace in your heart with your decision. If you feel that you need to give your baby up then do it. You are looking out for the best interests of you and your child.
2006-09-28 10:20:36 · answer #6 · answered by samantha29817 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, thats an incrediable decision. You are brave. The only advise I might give (I was on the Board of Directors of a Christian adoption agency and also fostered newborns awaiting adoption), is that if your parents want to adopt your child and raise it as their own and you feel that they are stable and live a life that you would want for your baby, then you might give them this choice. Otherwise, you are extremely mature in your thinking and allowing a fine couple to adopt is a good thing. God Bless you in what ever decision you make. You are smart, be sure and always think for yourself.
2006-09-28 10:16:43 · answer #7 · answered by DT 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are a very level headed girl, your family should now stand by you, but what you are planning is the right way to go, and don't let anyone make you change your mind. As it has to be your own decision, and you will have to face up to that for the rest of your life.
So many decisions are made solely because of the influence of others, and believe me, if this is what your instincts tell you to do,,,,,go for it girl
2006-09-28 10:20:42 · answer #8 · answered by african lion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes more courage to give up a child then it does to keep a child that you know you can't afford and try to make do. You sound like the most responsible person in your family.
2006-09-28 10:13:32 · answer #9 · answered by yzerswoman 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think talk to your family first whether they will help you take care of your baby.i agree you should not drop from school.think of this baby as a blessing.i think deep down you dont want to give up this baby.study hard to make your life better in the future and you can give your baby the things that you didnt have.
2006-09-28 10:20:45 · answer #10 · answered by anastasia p 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋