For AnakSingpore (cos she asked nicely)
CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother
won't let her.
As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother
appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go
to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm
will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour
comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m.
Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your
diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!" Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly,
Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater.........."
>>> >
PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain
about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went
to visit Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated
and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily
through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when
suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to
her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic
basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No,
you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."
MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the
judge said to Mickey,
"You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's
f**king Goofy."
SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up
behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face
crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
Did you know ...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
2006-09-28 03:07:57 · 18 answers · asked by flicflac 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
FUNNY! but.. I think pinnochio is going to sand his woody off. he wont like that.
2006-09-28 03:15:57 · answer #1 · answered by Wilson Wilson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the mickey and minnie one was really funny
2006-09-28 10:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by Regine R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never laughed so hard before in my life. Everyone in the office is looking at me like I am nuts, thanks for helping me pee my pants.
2006-09-28 10:16:09 · answer #3 · answered by ☺Smiley☺ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL!!! Work it Pinocchio!
2006-09-28 10:17:53 · answer #4 · answered by angeleyez 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And now we know the rest of the story!!! LOL. LOL. LOL.
These are really funny! Thanks for the laughter!
Have a great day!
2006-09-28 11:00:30 · answer #5 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awesome tales dude!!!
2006-09-28 13:48:37 · answer #6 · answered by tangie1247 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Encore!!!
2006-09-28 10:26:09 · answer #7 · answered by pepper 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeahthose jokes are funny, but.. wuts a diaphragm?
2006-09-28 10:19:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
lmao
2006-09-28 11:05:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Had me laughing.
2006-09-28 10:12:18 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋