My 16 month old son is going through some issues, he has chronic ear infections and is scheduled to have tubes put in plus he is cutting teeth and has a pretty good cold right now so I know he is ging through alot but when my husband comes home he will just start bawling and hang onto me for dear life, if I leave the room he bawls, if his dad tries to pick him up to give me a break he loses his mind and cries and kicks and tries to throw himself out of his arms, I know there is such thing as seperation anxiety but this is awful. And please no responses that maybe he's afraid of him because something he did to him because its not like that, my husband has never so much as smacked his hand. But when I leave the house I guess he's fine, he will play and play and laugh and run around crazy with his dad but if I am there he has a total fit if his dad even walks toward him. Is this a phase?
2006-09-28 03:02:38 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Aren't you the same person who posted about issues with your husband? This may be part of that problem. I would imagine your hubby is pretty stressed out working long hours and then coming home to that.
In any case -- your son is YOUNG and I've seen that before. It's a safety thing and kind of an "ownership" thing. He's used to being with you and around you and looks to you for everything. Talk with your pediatrician. I urge you to go with your husband to the appointment.
2006-09-28 03:08:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing with my daughter. Yes, it is a pahse. There is also gonna be a phase in which he wants his father for everything (at least with her, there was one).
Children are very possessive. It sounds like you are a stay at home Mom. Maybe you carry him around a lot when its just the 2 of you home but as soon as his father gets home, he feels that the attention shifts to him. Being clingy is probably his way of trying to stay the focus of all your attention. Don't worry once your husband is a good father, your son loves him as much as he loves you but he wants to be the center of attention. Notice he behaves differently towards his father when you are not there.
I knopw he's sick, but maybe you need to not have him in your arms so much, so he begins to explore on his own, you'll still supervise his movements but then it won't be so physical when your husband comes home. Also try not to take him from his father when he starts crying just take a few minutes and all sit together with his father still holding him, at least he may recognise that you are still there but its Daddy's turn to hold him.Also maybe your husband could come home, and de-stress , relax a little before holding him, I hear children can detect anxiety etc, maybe your husband doesn't spank him but he may react negatively to his crying, which will make him not want him to hold him even more.
Try asking close friends for advise and if all else fails, and you are still worried ask his doc to recommend a good Child Behaviour Therapist . Good Luck.
2006-09-28 03:27:36 · answer #2 · answered by ayanagin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure exactly what your home life is but many times children will cling to the parent that is around the most.
Also children will pick up on stress, anxiety, and hostility. If you are having problems with your husband about anything your son could very well be picking up on it. Also one the other hand- if your husband has had a really bad day or is stressed out and comes home to pick him up- he may subconsciously not want to deal with your son and your son picks up on it. Children at this age until the are out of their toddler years pick up on alot that you don't think about.
If he sees you as his guardian-you take care of him whenever he doesn't feel good- and you are being yelled at by your husband he may be mad at your husband because of it. Your husband may not necessarily mean to be this way towards you and may not even be upset but if he raises his voice to you in front of your son- Your son likely feels threatened- like your husband is being mean to you. There are alot of factors that could play into this.
Tell your husband to show that he loves you by kissing you in front of your son and to come towards your son slowly and cheerfully-not like a burden or stressed out. If this doesn't work then you may just wait it out until he feels better. If his ears are bothering him then it may also be that your husband's voice is sensitive to his little ears. Does your husband talk loud?
Hope this helps!!
2006-09-28 04:17:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The same thing happened to me with my daughter, and it has nothing to do with reinforcement of bad behavior. This is a phase where your son is testing both of you. He wants to see which parent he can convince to give in to him first. Maybe you should sit down with your husband and talk about your individual parenting styles while the other is away. By comparing notes, you may discover a pattern to your son's behavior. A good book that I swear by that may be helpful to you is "What To Expect the Toddler Years" By: Eisenberg, Murkoff, and Hathaway. Good luck, remember there is light at the end of the tunnel!
2006-09-28 03:13:13 · answer #4 · answered by Pixie31 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my niece is the same way.... she is only 5 months old though & if anyone holds her other than her Mom she will cry like there is no tomorrow ... My son did it for a while but not to everyone only ppl he didnt see often ... if your son is at home with you during the day it might just be that he is way to attached to you... & it is very hard to break it too... I had to everntually just walk away & let him cry my husband was so good about it too ( although you could tell he thought his son hated him ) but it will pass but dont give in to him when he does it that only makes it worse...good luck
2006-09-28 03:14:40 · answer #5 · answered by AC 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you assert "noone change into damage...", then you say "my husband and sone both recieved minor injuries yet..." and then you assert "My son just about died". Make up your recommendations. Hitting a motorized vehicle with a toddler in it really is not any worse than hitting a motorized vehicle complete of senior electorate. you're performing irrationally. you opt to coach the different driving force a lesson, which isn't your duty. the city will take care of him for the coincidence and leaving the scene. injuries ensue.
2016-10-16 02:41:10 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing with my 10 mo step son. I love him so much and treat him very good but he definitely has a stronger connection with his mother. It is a little disappointing but I know he is a baby and cannot help it.
2006-09-28 06:39:50 · answer #7 · answered by jimmyluger 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your son is playing you. i'm mother of 3. he knows he can pull that with you so he does it. part of it may be separation anxiety, maybe he knows he has to share you with daddy when daddys home. Take care of your sons illness,nurture him but when he starts to cry &kick, ignore it walk away, go in the bathroom. when he sees that he doesnt get the response from you he's looking for "being rescued from daddy" he'll stop.
2006-09-28 03:23:35 · answer #8 · answered by kah35 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its more of a test than a phase... he is playing you and your husband
if the kid throws a fit - DO NOT give in.. do not give him any attention - go lock yourself in the bathroom if you have to but as long as the bad behavior is continuing you have to ignore him - dont even tell him to stop it.. simply ignore and pretend he doesnt even exist..
poor dad he must feel terrible. its not his fault
eventually the kid will grow out of it but you must teach him how... buy really being tough and not giving in an inch.. leave the room lots - but DO NOT reenter the room if the kid is acting that way...
if you dont fix it now it will get worse
2006-09-28 03:14:15 · answer #9 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Yeah it's a phase...get used to them. There are more to come.
2006-09-28 21:01:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋