2006-09-28 02:58:39 · 39 answers · asked by my_a7lamy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This has been something that I have tossed and turned about. Sometimes I think that ifyou love someone then the past does not matter, but then again, what if the past is something that if it came back in the future it would destroy the family that you have built.
If you are about to take the next step and marry her, then the answer is yes. So before you tie the knott, you should say. Honey, we are getting ready to spend the rest of our lives together and I believe that if we are to be successful then we must promise to always be honest with each other no matter what. So before we start out is there anything that you want to know about me that you feel has not been resolved? and then it will be your turn to ask.
But please don't use this as an opportunity to judge her. If you really love her for who she is now, then love her.
2006-09-28 03:11:41 · answer #1 · answered by cdubsj2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask away but you might not like the answer! Actually, I've never heard of much good coming from digging in your spouse's past. What's done it done. She doesn't own the past anymore than you can own yours. If she did do something bad, I'm sure she feels just as bad about it as you would. Let her be. Don't open up that can by asking about it. It doesn't effect the love you share today.
2006-09-28 03:01:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have found out all the dirty laundry before the wedding. You shouldn't ruin a marriage over the past. Everyone has the right to know about the spouses past but not if it will come between the two of you.
2006-09-28 03:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by Curious J. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask away, but she has the right to decline to answer without being badgered.
If it matters so much, you need to figure out why you care about it.
Is it about disease? Or her level of experience or faithfulness? Judging her as a loose woman? So you can get jealous of a particular person?
Will you tell her YOUR details? Why?Or why not?
If you don't trust her- a full confession will not make you trust her-it will make you crazy.
If you do trust her, then leave the details alone.
She is your WIFE now--little late for details.
2006-09-28 03:19:25 · answer #4 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Questions concerning past relationships should not be considered as a topic of conversation on either side unless brough up by the person themselves. The things that happened before you came into her life are truly none of your business and the knowledge of it will not create any positive results. This is particularly true if you are the jealous type.
2006-09-28 03:02:35 · answer #5 · answered by Letsee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has a past and you have to remember that the past was BEFORE they met you so you have no say in it. If you cannoit accept the person for who they are not not for their past then dont ask. Remember also that they have the right to ask you too.
2006-09-28 03:01:34 · answer #6 · answered by robin_baker_uk 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wise man would have asked wife about her past before marrying her.
2006-09-28 03:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by thegirlwholovedbrains 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends on the question. Some things are better left in the past.
2006-09-28 03:01:54 · answer #8 · answered by MiMi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sure but remember the past is just that the past. If you don't think your going to like what you hear then don't ask.
2006-09-28 03:00:56 · answer #9 · answered by starchild_kisschild 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A man doesn't have the right, but he's allowed to ask if he feels it's important to their current relationship. Now whether or not she answers is totally up to her!
2006-09-28 03:00:31 · answer #10 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋