Family not letting go?

Question

Hi I am a muslim girl and i am 17 years old. I am in the 3rd rank of my entire senior class and I could go to any university i want but i cant cuz my parent wont let me move out. They are always fighing like immature children. they'll be better off getting a divorce. All my teachers and councelors are telling me that i should go to an out of city, out of state college but my parents just wont let me go. I want to move out because i am tired of their yelling, hate living with them, and i want to go to MY choice of college. I have a very strict dad and a strict mom. I never get anything, not even a 'happy birthday' from my family. My cuzing ran away and they think that ill run away too. My question is what do i do, should i just get a scholorship to the college of my choice and leave or should i stay with them? is it against islam to live in a dorm? Please Help me!!!

I live very close to UC Berkeley in California but i dont really wanna go there only cuz its too close to home but other than that its a good college, i want to live in a dorm....

Thank you ladys for all your wonderful answers!! I hope that I could have the courage to actually tell this to my parents!!

Answer 1

It sounds like you have already made your decision, but you just don't want to admit it to yourself.
Regardless of your religion, you should do what is best for you and your future. In this case, it's moving out to go to the best college you can after graduation. You aren't happy at home, and you probably can't get the best education at a local school. You won't be living with your parents forever, no matter what they may wish for now. It's your future, it's up to you to make the best of it. A better education means a better job, which equals a better chance at a good life. You can't get very far working for minimum wage on a community college degree.
I say take the scholarship of your choice, and let them know that this is your life. You aren't a child anymore to live under their unreasonable demands. If they get that mad, you can always stay at the dorm over holidays and breaks. They will eventually calm down. No matter what, you will still be their daughter and they do love you.

Answer 2

I'm not sure about your religion and maybe you should check with a religious leader about the rules and regulations. But as far as getting away from your family goes, honey I say do it. If you are a good student and you can pick and choose then go where you want to go. But don't lose touch with your family. Although they get on your nerves, you'll be far away from them and in a new place so you won't know anyone yet and it would be nice to have that connection while you're in college. Just be an adult and let them know that they argue too much and it's taking a toll on you and you are going to accept a scholarship from whatever college and you need some space from them. You are grown and they cannot stop you from doing this. Good luck.

Answer 3

I truly feel for you my dear. What I'd do is try to speak with the counsellor and see if they'd speak with your parents. Also I'd go ahead with the scholarship you deserve it. Its unfortunate in today society alot of islam parents still think the old way and this cannot be changed unless they change themself and this is a unsolved issue with them. (Please no offense, disrepect towards you or Islam religion.) Its just the way it is, with life these days. All I can suggest to you is get that scholarship and apply, speak to your parents and if that doesn't help. I think you should leave you sound like a young mature teenager with your head on your shoulder and know which directions to go towards your furture.
Ok don't run away just tell you parents, that you love them no matter what you've made your choice and you'll be going to school with or without there aproval. You might risk loosing your parents and hurting them as they don't understand. But remember that no matter what these are your parents, even if this disown you or force you which they shouldn't do as abuse is abuse. Make sure that you have some money saved, there is still sometime for you to save some before you leave for college.
I wish you all the best of luck in the world, and I pray for you. May the Creator bless you. Email me if you need any more help.

Answer 4

How long will it be before you are 18? In the USA, a person that is 18 is classified as an adult. You do not need your parents permission to move out.
Have you tried talking to them to make them understand how you feel? Talk to them and/or have a teacher/counselor talk to them. It should be your choice and what you want; not what they want for you. Good Luck! I hope it works out for you.

Answer 5

i really don't know much about the muslim religion or practices but if your that gifted in school, you really shouldn't make yourself suffer just b/c of your parents are strict. idk what state you live in but are there any decent good schools instate that you could start out at ? maybe your parents would be able to eventually see that your able to attend an out of state school once they see that your there for the family by going to maybe a 2 yr school locally. either way....you need to look at your future. if there isn't any instate schools to go to....get the scholarship...tell them your going because you have a great chance to make life better. you need a great college degree to get anywhere in life now a days. good luck !

Answer 6

You should go to the college that makes you happy...is about your happiness, but just remember to respect your mom and dad when you are telling them...is your decision and you worked hard to get to a good college or university.

Answer 7

talk to your parent politely.our religion really wants us to respect our parents.try to convince them that it is important to you.