Would you buy these items from a wedding Gift List?

Question

My fiancé and I are getting married and have set up a gift list. My fiancé seems to think there are certain things that won't get bought because people don't want to be remembered as 'the person who bought us ....................... a bin (chrome), an ironing board, knives (old wives tale apparently), chopping boards and general kitchen stuff. He says people would prefer to buy something pretty or for special occasions rather than everyday kitchen things, however we are not living together before we get married so these are all things that we need!

So my question is......would you buy a newly married couple a bin/knives/saucepans/chopping boards etc if you knew that it was something that they needed, or would you rather get them something a bit frivolous which you know might not be as useful to them?

P.S. Just to pre-empt something............If you're going to reply with how rude or inappropriate it is to have a gift list at all, please don't. That isn't what I'm asking.

Answer 1

Hi there. I would buy it for you, and I would think that your close friends would know you need the items and get them for you. If they dont want to get you those items, then I would think a gift card to that store would be given.... I got all my plates and silverware and etc.. at my wedding.
I think that some ppl will get you frivolous items because of the reason you said. But for the most part, you will probably get what you register for as long as its affordable for the guests you are inviting.

PS~Having a gift registry when you are GETTING MARRIED is not inappropriate WHATSOEVER. A gift registry is a nexessity when you get married, people dont know what to get you or what you NEED.... You're just a couple starting out a life together.

PSS~Congratulations!!!!

Answer 2

Whether something is appropriate or not, is in the buyer's mind. List what you want, and if the buyer doesn't think it is appropriate, then they can always choose other items.

It is true that people do get an emotional "high" from giving something pretty. Lots of practical kitchen objects are packaged prettily for that very reason. What is important is that you start your home in a financially practical way.

Making a home without some decent tools (that's my term and I'm sticking to it) is a pain. My girlfriend who was a professional cook, allowed me to cook in her home kitchen recently. The difference between cooking with mediocre tools and superior tools is vast. Knives that can actually slice thinly, instead of serating the food! Pans that actually distribute heat evenly instead of burning the middle whilst the food near the rim is still near-raw! I was so convinced that I bought some decent knives, skillets and other tools. It cost me a lot but it has been worth it. No more struggling with sharpening poorly made knives. No more having to make only scrambled eggs because the pan cannot do evenly cooked omelettes. Your fiancé should experience the difference before he makes up his mind.

What is appropriate varies with custom. If he is wants to restrict the list, then let him restrict it based on the mutual understanding that he funds the excluded items from his own pocket ... before the wedding.

Answer 3

Actually, kitchen things are traditional wedding gifts. Most people know that the new couple is starting out in life, and they don't have much in the way of good small appliances, pots, pans, linens, etc... What you are asking for is normal.
I didn't have a registry, but when people asked what we wanted, I just said "anything for my kitchen" and got a ton of great things.
My sister's registry is at Bed, Bath and Beyond, and her list has everything from the kitchen things you listed, to hangers and an ironing board! It's all about what the couple needs, and would like to have. It's not as rude as it used to be to have a registry or wish list for a wedding. People expect to buy gifts for a wedding, so it's nice to know what to get the couple. You'll have several people that will buy whatever they want anyway, so it's not like you are giving a required list that they have to buy from.

Answer 4

Yes! I've been in many weddings, I've been to even more, and now I'm starting to plan my own. You have three separate occasions where people will buy you gifts--the engagement, the bridal shower (if you have one), and the wedding. People DEFINITELY do buy you stuff off your registry--even chrome bowls, chopping boards, knives and general kitchen stuff. If someone is really close to you, they may think "I don't want to be remembered as the one who bought..." but most people are grateful that you have a registry so that they know what to get you! It makes gift giving much easier and you will probably get a lot of the stuff on the list.

Congrats on your engagement!

Answer 5

They probably wouldn't be peoples first choice, for instance I bought someone an iron (very fancy it was too at €120!) as it was the only thing in my price bracket left on the list. But they had picked it out and love it!
I suggest that you write a nice little piece to go on the top of the wedding list much like you have written here, then all your guests will understand where you are coming from.
Or, I went to a wedding a year or so ago and they just had everyone put money into an account with a department store, much like buying vouchers I suppose.
Happy rest of your life!!

Answer 6

You guys should register for everything and/or anything you could ever want, use or need. Its amazing what people spend for you on your big day. For all the little items what some may do is have a few people chip in and buy you a gift basket full of all the little goodies.
You never know, also you may have a guest that can't afford to drop $50-$100 & appreciate the fact that there are less expensive gifts registered.
Congrads!

Answer 7

Adele,
We as a society don't live by traditions like previous generations did and many things are accepted these days without question. Your husband may be worried about what his parents and older relatives might think. My daughter is 29 and expecting her first baby next month, on her wish list for gifts her husband registered for a pressure washer, Everyone, and I mean Everyone had so much fun with that being on the list "Do you think the diapers will get that bad ?" on of her friends said at the baby shower and a room of 20 women laughed and cut jokes for 10min. He got the pressure washer !!!
When you ask for practial things on your list people who love to cook will head to the gourmet cooking store and buy you a cutting board that is top of the line made out of some exotic wood or marble encircled with pure silver, they will buy you a set of cooking pots used on a high class cooking show, and include a book by the famous chef,you'll get an ironing board unit that is installed on the wall in your laundry room with the best iron money can buy. Ask your husband to go to some of those specialty shops and register for gifts there, to lead your guests to fill your hearts desires, he may come up with some stores and items he would love to have and relax about what the older generation might think.

CONGRADULATIONS, GIRL !!Kimmie

Answer 8

Those are all practical and wonderful gifts!

Here is how I look at it... I get a little peeved when people register for very frivilous items. That's fine for a wedding, not so great for a shower (and I assume maybe some of these items may be purchased for a shower?). Anyway, the purpose of a shower is to outfit your home. I don't feel that people should take advantage of this opportunity and outfit your home with the most expensive stuff imaginable! I've seen some registries that knocked me on the floor ($50.00 cookie sheet??? $700.00 luggage? Give me a break!). I enjoy giving gifts that are useful AND maybe something the bride/groom would not buy themselves.

I would definitely buy you those items that you mentioned.

Answer 9

I don't think it is inappropriate to have a gift list; having one avoids duplication & gives your guests ideas about what to give you. If I were 1 of your guests I would have no problem about giving something purely practical, like saucepans. If your list includes both practical items & more attractive/frivolous items, then everybody should be able to choose something that they would like to give from your list. You can also make it clear that buying from the list is not compulsory. One of your girl friends may host a 'shower' for you. If you request that that is a 'kitchen shower' that could be an opportunity for friends to give you some more ulitarian items. Whatever you decide about any aspect of your wedding, accept that you can't please everybody. It's your wedding, so go with what you and your fiance want. Good luck with your preparations; have a wonderful day.

Answer 10

I would have to say yes they will buy you those things and they are completely ok. My list consists of mainly kitchen items because that is what i like to do- cook. I have also included a lot of items for the bathroom because i love to change my bathroom theme around. The people who are buying you gifts dont care what they buy- if it is on the gift list they know you want or need it. I wouldnt worry about if they felt any different because if they felt that bad they would give you something else. I would give people what they want on their list. And no, i wouldnt feel bad.

The registry is to help the newly married couple in their new home together. you can put anything you like on it!