its not the matter who ask's for dinner becoz we both wanna do it sumtimes (we cant now due to geographical condition)
the prob is economical differences between us. he might take me to fabs restaurant n i myself dont want him to pay for me, n i might push him to let me pay for the dinner.
but how about the other day?
hmm...
is it polite to insist to pay the check?
is it polite to say infront tht "we'll go dutch?"
is it better if i let him pay for us both, or to insist tht i'll pay my own expanses?
what d ya think?
2006-09-28 02:03:05 · 14 answers · asked by facobasten1984 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Well, you should just do what I do. When the bill comes you should always offer to pay your share. Most men will insist on paying the entire thing anyway. But it will make you look like a classy lady if you show that you had a good time and wouldn't mind paying your portion. I have done this numerous times and have never had to bring out my wallet. Just offering will make him happy enough. If he does however let your pay-well then, he is a loser! Especially, if he takes you to expensive dinners knowing you can't really afford it!
2006-09-28 02:15:29 · answer #1 · answered by pipsqueak8756 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're having sex with the guy, there is NO need to ask to go dutch or to offer more than once to pay for the cheque.
If he's just a friend, and the restaraunt is affordable for you, insist on paying your share. If it's his idea to take you somewhere nice (and he is JUST a friend), then let him know you're a bit tight and let him treat you.
If he's JUST a friend and insists on always paying, ask once or twice, but don't press it more. Many guys pride themselves in being generous providers, and it can be a very nice way that they express their friendship.
... just how I've handled things in the past...
2006-09-28 09:13:25 · answer #2 · answered by Jessie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont believe that a lady should have to pay when she is dining with a man i never have and the guys i have been with would be embarresed if i offered, if u are in a serious relationship then you just do what feels right but if you are out with a guy let him pay he should only take you where he can afford anyway, i would think more of a guy taking me to mcdonalds than taking me to a posh resturant and asking me to pay the bill.
2006-09-28 10:26:31 · answer #3 · answered by sarah l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me put this very simply. It *is* a matter of who's asking. It would be incredibly rude if he asked you somewhere fancy and expected you to pay, just the same as if you asked him somewhere and expected him to pay. The question itself ("do you want to get something to eat?") implies the questioner is making an offer to pay for it. Many men, especially those raised conservatively, find it very uncomfortable to allow their date to pay for dinner.
Basically, the only way to get around the issue while appeasing your own independence and not sacrificing his masculinity (we guys *are* supposed to be the bread-winners, after all) is to add the caveat when accepting the invitation -- e.g. "Sure I'll go, but you bought last time, so it's my turn." -- or to be the one doing the inviting ("Wanna grab a bite? It's my treat.").
2006-09-28 09:18:11 · answer #4 · answered by hogan.enterprises 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice to the poster:
If you want to pay talk to your significant other and tell him you think it's only fair that you split the bill from time to time, as he shouldn't have to spend all of his hard earned money all the time.
My Rant:
I think it's really sh**ty of those women who are saying that the Man should pay, to say so just because he's the man in the relationship.
If you're in a relationship, you are a team. you should work together, and if that means splitting the bill with your man, then so be it. It's only fair, and you can't expect him to pay for every single thing.
2006-09-28 14:35:40 · answer #5 · answered by pastor of muppets 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been together for a while, there's nothing wrong the two of you splitting the bill.
Here's how it works with me and my girlfriend:
We usually split the bill, but If I want to take her out, I'll tell her were going out and I'm paying. No questions asked. (she likes for us to split as much as possible, but sometimes I wanna treat her, or vice versa). So, for us, if we're not going to split it, it's usually made known prior to the meal.
However, if it's a first date or you're just getting to know each other, the person who asked for the date should pay. And you should accept, since he most likely wants to treat you.
2006-09-28 09:59:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it clear that from now on that you'll "go dutch". With that out of the way, then you are free to focus on other topics of conversation during dinner...
2006-09-28 10:38:17 · answer #7 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him pay. You can pay for groceries to make dinner for him once in a while, it's a nice trade-off.
2006-09-28 09:12:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him pay. Start the relationship right.
2006-09-28 12:31:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what your problem the dude always pays the meal i've never heard a women complain about a silly thing like this worry her
2006-09-28 09:07:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋