My daughter is in pre-k this year. She is 4. Keep in mind on a daily basis, she and I struggle everyday for her to listen to me. She is very stubborn, hard headed, and does not listen. Since her class started 2 weeks ago, I have gotten a note home almost every day about this in the class and now I have a phone call. She will NOT listen to the teacher. Have I done something wrong with her? Will she ever grow out of it? Should I just pull her out of school and wait until next year, she really needs the pre-k work though...she won't listen to me to learn the work.
2006-09-28 01:48:53 · 12 answers · asked by Jennifer D 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
The school attempted to check her hearing, she pitched a fit. I have offered to go sit with her while she has it done...but I wonder if she will even raise her hand on which side the sound is coming from. As far as discipline..I am firm with her. I am not a giving in mom. I expect her to come when i call and she does get punished when she does wrong. We just butt heads all day long. Now she is doing it at school. :( I am just having a bad day...just spoke with her teacher regarding her behavior. Thank you all for your help
2006-09-28 02:18:29 · update #1
Whatever you do don't pull her out of school. Pre-k is the introduction to school, if you pull her out this year she will continue next year with behavior problems when she will really start learning important stuff. Nip this in the bud now. What works with my daughter is that I put her in time out until she can tell me why she got into trouble and how she could have avoided it. (However long it takes) After she can tell me why she got into and how she could have stayed out of trouble I let her out of time out. The next morning before school I make her repeat this. (ex. I got in trouble because I was playing during naptime. I would have not been in trouble if I had layed down quietly and been still.) This refreshes her memory. She then leaves for school thinking about her behavior the following day.
Also, the first 2 months of school are the hardest on kids. They are trying to see what they can get away with. If you buckle down in the beginning and let her know that you will not tolerate this behavior slowly it will get better. (My child's kindergarden teacher pointed out that she always has problems with the kids the first few weeks of school once they get into the groove of things they usually calm down a little. But, the only way to stop this is to let your child know that she is wrong and that the only person who can fix this problem is her)
2006-09-28 02:18:30 · answer #1 · answered by arl21amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation as you were. I have a four year old daughter who on occasion would have difficulty following the rules. I turned this around my being strict and disciplining her when she was being bad and making sure she understood what she did wrong. When she was bad in school I would make a point to tell her that her teachers said she had a bad day and ask her why she wasn't behaving. She would then go home and take time out depending on the severity of the report. Then I would also make sure to give her many praises on days when she got good reports just to let her know that she did a good job. Now, every day when I pick her up she has good reports and she always asks "daddy, did I have a good day today?". Just be stern and put your foot down and let her know that you will not tolerate misbehaving at school. Do not give in, decide what your plan is and stick with it.
It might also be that she is uncomfortable with either the teacher or the classroom. I went through this as well and requested that my daughter be able to switch rooms, this too helped considerably.
Keep in mind that your daughter will be starting kindergarten next year and if you dont nip this in the bud now, your problems will only amplify come that time.
I hope this helps, good luck
2006-09-28 08:58:25 · answer #2 · answered by Can I get some help here? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you have to find a punishment that works for her like sending her to her room.
Then when she will not listen to you or her teacher you need to use the punishment.
Go in and talk to the teacher and tell her you are having the same problem at home. Teachers are very insightful and she may have a plan to help you out with this.
Also, pick you battles. If it isn't something worth fighting over then don't, but if it is worth fighting over then stand your ground. Your daughter will, eventually learn. I have found after raising 3 daughters and 2 grandchildren, one is a boy, that stubborn girls are the worst at standing their grounds.
Never ever threaten to do or take something from her that you are not willing to do. She will see right through that. Believe it or not, at 4 she already knows when you threaten her with a punishment, if you are going to follow through with it or not.
Good Luck.
2006-09-28 09:03:03 · answer #3 · answered by nana4dakids 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is she normally in daycare? Do you stay at home with her? I have a 4 year old daughter. She can be like this the days my father in law watches her (3 days a week, daycare/preschool 2 days a week). I have to remind her who is boss. You need to set some ground rules down for her. Maybe you should start some kind of chores chart where she earns stickers and if she earns so many stickers during the week, she gets a special prize. Some chores can include, helping set and clear the dinner table, clean up her toys, brush her teeth in the morning and evening, a day with no time-outs...etc... This is how we got our daughter to learn to start listening to US. Maybe a prize can be a trip to chuckie cheese, bowling, day at the park, go out for ice cream, a small toy for under $5. Whatever you want. I think this will help you out by starting to get her to listen to you. You might need to enforce more time-outs, taking things away, turning the tv off...etc. Once you get her listening to you, she should do better at school.
2006-09-28 09:07:59 · answer #4 · answered by jevic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a friend of mine but her daughter is in K. If I were you I would take away things she likes to do. That doesn't work I would put her in the corner when she acts up at home. Trust me you have got to show her that you aren't putting up with this anymore. You ever watch Super Nanny? She has kids go to a thinking pond. I just use the corner. You would put her there for 4 minutes. If she gets up take her back and add another minute. I had to do this to my son last night. After 15 minutes in the corner he was so good. Almost seemed like a different kid. Good Luck!
2006-09-28 09:16:54 · answer #5 · answered by LeeLynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar problem with my 4yr old daughter. She went to pre k for 2wks, and I pulled her out. It was a hard decision to make, because I wanted her to have the opportunity to interact and learn with others. But she was miserable, and she was making me miserable. I didn't want her to have a negative opinion of school. I would rather have her drop out of prek than high school. I suggest you talk to her teacher. Maybe there are other options for teaching her. My area has a program that comes to your home and teaches the parent how and what to be teaching your child, to get them prepared for kindergarten. Maybe your daughter, like mine, is not emotionally ready for school just yet. A little more time could make all the difference. Good Luck:)
2006-09-28 09:12:45 · answer #6 · answered by patty m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not she will change she is just being spoiled. Do not take her out of school because she needs to interact with the other students. She will change but you have to be patient with her and something will work out.
I have a 4 year old too and she is alot of work but she does have self control at school. She is only disrespectful to me and I am always putting her on punishment and she will do the same thing over and over again. I am trying really hard to be patient with her but it is not easy. I have 2 other children (Boys) and they are well behaved but she is my only girl and is very out of control. She is spoiled and she is also a daddy's lilltle girl, that makes it even harder... Don't worry, I believe that things will get better with you and for me too.. (Good Luck)!!!!
2006-09-28 10:20:48 · answer #7 · answered by Vicky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Working as a nanny I have found that 4 is the time when many children have listening problems. Talk with your childs teacher and the two of you can work out some tactic to deal with your childs stubborness. Remember the stubborness that upsets you sooo much is the same stubborness that will help her when she is grown.
2006-09-28 08:57:30 · answer #8 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whatever you do don't take her out then she will not get use to the routine and kindergarten will be worse she will evetually get use to the teacher and what is expected of her even if she spends the day in time out she will realize its no fun and that she wants to be with the rest of her class .... mom of 3 1 in pre-k 1 in kindergarten and 1 in early headstart ( kindergartener been wrote up about 4 times already but is now starting to do better) just hang in i know it frustrating
2006-09-28 09:26:34 · answer #9 · answered by my babies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 4 y/o girl is the same way. We butt heads daily. I never had that trouble with my oldest boy. The one thing my girl will do without being asked, though, is school. She is usually on me to get it done. (We homeschool)
The only thing I can use to get her to listen is to reward her with skittles. If I tell her she can't have them, she'll snap to attention most times.
2006-09-28 09:51:20 · answer #10 · answered by Jessie P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋