How do i forgive my boyfriend of 4 years who has verbal abused me and makes it all myf ault...do i get back?

Question

We have been together 4 years...he has an addiction problem,
is very good to me in other ways, but he does verbally abuse,
we have not talked in 3 weeks, but i want to get past this,
how do i do that, do itell him we need to talk? do i just kepe letting
him think everythign is ok?

Answer 1

You might be able to forgive, but you won't forget. If your boyfriend cannot control his verbal abuse, he is going to strip you of all your confidence over time - if you continue to stay with him. You just won't be able to forget his words. Has he been verbally abusing you for a long period of time? If so, this verbal abuse problem is just like an addiction problem - it is something that he just won't be able to stop doing without a lot of help, like counseling. Don't let this guy strip you of your pride and confidence.

Answer 2

For crying out loud!!!! Can't you read the writing on the wall. He "is very good to me in other ways, but he does verbally abuse"??? How "good" can he be if he doesn't respect you enough to even be civil to you? Leave this dumbass and never look back. Otherwise, he will actually think that "everything is OK" when he tells you that you are stupid, a whore, a tramp, etc. etc. because you apparently agree that you are because you are staying with him./ And addiction, too??? What more does he have to do to let you know he is lower than pond scum???

Answer 3

you really have to cut all ties. It is very difficult because you have been dealing with this for a long time right? Its almost like you are addicted to the drama. It happens and alot of us have to go thru this in order to learn there is NO changing an addict. The best thing you could do is forgive...and let it be. It will take time but what else do you have? When you want to talk to him ...call a friend....when you miss him..call a friend...believe me, those feelings will pass.

Answer 4

I don't really think getting back together is the best thing for you.
Forgiving him is allowing him to continue this behavior.
You deserve someone who will love and respect you,not abuse you in any way shape or form.If you are determined to stay with him I would definitely tell him how you are feeling and suggest getting counseling.If he hasn't gotten help for his addiction I would recommend that you do not reenter this relationship until he does.
Don't not act like everything is ok ,you'll just be hurting yourself.
I hope everything works out the way you want.Good luck.

Answer 5

who has the power to make your relationship grow? you or him? who has the sense of stability and dedication? are you letting your principles as a woman be compromised? these are some of the questions that you should be asking yourself when he is verbally abusing you especially if he does it in public or when he has his addiction fits,are you addicted too,or do you feel sorry for yourself and him and do not know how to end the relationship? All relationships will have to grow and you cannot get better if he has an addiction and you have to carry the ball, ask him to clean up his act or you will have to clean up shop,if not ,your high standards will be compromised and the relationship will dead end,be firm,you can only do better.

Answer 6

Tell him you value yourself more than he does, and you refuse to keep yourself in a damaging relationship. Verbal abuse is no laughing matter. You at least need time away from him. It might get him to realize that what he "does" effects everything and everyone in his life. It might take him losing everything before you ever see a change. But you staying in that situation is not at all a good or healthy idea.

Answer 7

as quickly as my husband and that i went to a social gathering. I walked right into a room the place he became danceing with my buddy. The song stopped and that they stored dancing. everybody had to remind them the song became over. My heart sank, i became so harm it felt like he had cheetedl. or became waiting to. I held a grudge for an prolonged time. This became 10 yrs in the past. To on the present time, he has in no way danced with anybody different than me. Its not adequate to declare i admire you. you may desire to instruct it even instruct it dailey. Then only possibly sometime you may finally completely have faith lower back as I now do. yet that discomfort remains there on the instant only as though it got here approximately yesturday. i'll in no way forget approximately it. I choose i'd desire to.

Answer 8

swty, y don't u try and make him get rid of the addiction which he has...he might love u, however its very difficult to lead life with these kind of people...u can never predict their minds and this wud make ur life a real mess....the main problem with these kind of people is, they lack mental stability which wud not make them realise thier responsibilities in life...u have been with him for 4 yrs now.. i am sure u must really be a very nice person...instead of getting away from him try to make him realise the consequences of the addiction & make him get rid of it...all the best swty... these days, its very hard to find to people like u on earth who stick to relationships even though there is a serious problem in it..don't worry..just trust in god and he will take care of everything for u..all the best sweety..

Answer 9

verbal abuse = treating you bad
talking to him = deluding yourself
forgiving him NOT= staying on with him
Walking away from this = You being happy in the long run

Life is short,
Why be miserable for too long?

Answer 10

Do you really have so little respect for yourself. Do you have any idea about the type of things your friends say about you. Don't bother with him. You can not change him or cure him. You will only hurt yourself further