I met this guy quite randomly two weeks ago, and we just clicked. We met properly for the first time last weekend and we had a ncie time. He seems to like me alot. I told him that I was still unsure whether I want to persue it or not, as he is a bit younger than me and because I haven't known him long. He tells me he is so sure that he wants to be with he wants us to be exclusive. I said I was totally flattered but I need to get to know him a bit better, and he says again that he wants me to be his woman. Since that day, we have been speaking here and there and I have emailed him to meet up, but he is being cold. Not mean or anything, but just a bit off and not being as lively and funny as usual. Have I upset him? What do I do to sort it out?
2006-09-28 01:39:25 · 14 answers · asked by Ms.Trouble 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The guy is probably suffering from rejection anxiety. I just made up that term, but what I mean is; your wanting to get to know him, which is perfectly fine and good, I'd do the same, is probably coming off to him as a slow-simmer rejection that hasn't actually happened, but is on the way, so he's sort of giving up.
He may feel that he makes great first impressions, but unless he gets someone wrapped up in him right away, they will ultimately find him unappealing and then eventually leave him, breaking his heart....which nobody likes to have happen.
Or, maybe he's had a series of rejections because he's waited too long to commit. Maybe if you offer a little reassurance without making any commitments...you know.....some sensitivity to his feelings, maybe that will sway him. It would be a good litmus test. :)
Hard to say for sure, but this is my best guess. I hope it works out for you tho. You seem like a nice person, and he does too, based on how you described him.
Good luck, I hope it all works out for the best for you both.
2006-09-28 01:52:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably feels you have upset him but he shouldn't rush you that much, don't go into anything with your eyes closed, is he going to spit his dummy out every time he doesn't get his own way? If he's can't go at your pace and accept that then he probably isn't worth persuing
2006-09-28 08:46:46 · answer #2 · answered by xx_lush_xx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 weeks and he wanted to commit alr?
well.... stg gained hastily in the beginning usually ends up in ashes prettty quick too...
i suggest u don't work this one out at all.....
and since he's being cold already.... u have less reason to hang onto his honeyed promises of love n declaration.. see? He's changed in an instant!
2006-09-28 08:43:29 · answer #3 · answered by Beth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you did the right thing. rushing into a commitment won't do you any good. he is acting like that because he wasn't able to get what he wanted from you. so now you know a bit of what he really is, an immature ***-HOLE! don't sort it out. dump him. you'll just get into a lot of trouble with him if you give into his immaturity.
2006-09-28 08:46:37 · answer #4 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well yes, I'm sure you did upset him, you're an ice queen! Quit being so stuck on yourself, and you might someday have a shot at love.
Hope this helps.
2006-09-28 08:42:25 · answer #5 · answered by Dr. Drew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't react the way he thought you would, thus he is a little taken as to what you are feeling. Don't push it. If it is to be, it will, let it flow naturally if you want it to be a lasting relationship.
2006-09-28 08:57:27 · answer #6 · answered by Michael S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once he discovers his elbow from his as@, then maybe he will know what to do with the Queen of Ice and would he have to bow and slowly approach your royal jewels?
2006-09-28 08:51:05 · answer #7 · answered by Paul M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he feels rejected and don't know how to approach you again (talk to him) that's after you figure out what you want to do (have a relationship with him or not)
2006-09-28 08:49:19 · answer #8 · answered by Caribbean Queen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's just feeling bad that he can't be with you, or maybe you said something that upset him, you better ask him what's wrong, because nobody knows that answer but him..
2006-09-28 08:45:20 · answer #9 · answered by Kate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it a chance you never know how things are going to turn out if he said that stuff to me i would be with him in a heartbeat
2006-09-28 08:46:21 · answer #10 · answered by Hollywood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋