When dealing with the strange preferences of children is it better to ignore it or address it?

Question

Step mom of 14 yr old boy. 30 min b/f school starts, he has no more clean socks and asks U for some. U rummage quickly around and find some that are clean. He tries them and says they are "too big" ( possibly because they are not the ankle length socks that he's used to). You show him how to fold them down a notch. Out of the corner of your eye you see him put away the clean socks you gave him and put on some filty ankle length socks. You: 1) Ask him what the heck he's doing and expect a logical answer to a logical question 2) Totally ignore it but next time he asks for something let him know that you won't spend time looking unless the request is timely and he's clear that the item may or may not be exactly to his preferences 3) Tell him that since he has other siblings if he can only wear one specific style of sock he needs to get a paper route/job/do extra chores at home to buy it 4) something else?

Answer 1

I think that a 14 year old should be doing his own laundry.

Answer 2

I'd say it depends on the issue of the preference. If we're talking he likes ketchup on his egg salad sandwich, I say ignore it since it's his stomach. If he prefers to hang upside down from the ceiling in the dining room to eat it, then we have a problem. A preference is allowable as long as you are the only one who has to deal with it- before, during and after. In the case of the socks- they are his feet, and his stinky socks. He will be the one getting the cracks in gym class- not you.
I do laundry for a family of 6, once a week. If it doesn't get clean because you didn't hit the hamper- it just waits another week. If you wear all your favorite socks and have only the clean unfavorite kind left- well, go without or wear the unfavorites. Or wear the stinky ones- just not in my house. When buying clothing, I am willing to make some allowance for preference at the time of purchase. I understand prefering hip rise panties to bikini, or vice versa. Ditto with socks- ankle, crew, whatever. That said- just because it's their favorite lucky purple drawers doesn't mean I do a whole load of wash just to have them clean on demand. I tell them the choice is clean unfavorite or do without, or risk wearing the dirty one. I don't get into arguements, and I don't budge either. By the time they reach 14, they can understand the concept. It makes life a lot easier all the way around for you to pick and choose the battles where the energy is best put to use. This isn't one of them, because no matter what happens you will be the bad guy- and all over a pair of socks. Leave the choices in their hands whenever possible, and then they have no one to blame but themselves when things don't work out. He has clean socks and dirty socks, and the choice is up to him. When he gets tired of wearing nasty socks and having stinky feet, he'll change all on his own- no fight needed on your part.

Answer 3

tell him that he should make sure he has clean clothes for school sooner than 30 min. before he has to be there. i'm sure the length of the sock has something to do with normal insecurities for 14 year olds. maybe the other guys at school wear ankle length socks and he'd feel dumb wearing something different. come on, he's 14. what an adult would think about this situation (i'm gonna wear the clean socks. i don't care if everyone else is wearing short socks.) doesn't apply here. but...if he's gonna be that picky, he needs to plan a little better. teaching him some organizational skills wouldn't be bad. it'll probably be difficult though. not many 14 year old boys are neat and tidy.

Answer 4

I would tell him that until you or he buys new socks then he needs to wear what he has available. Next time you buy socks for him respct his preference and buy what he likes. If he wants new socks before then - he can pay for them (job, allowance, b'day money - whatever).
He also needs to get his laundry done. At 14, he should be doing it himself even if he does need a bit of reminding. Set a day to be his laundry day so he knows that once he returns home from school, he starts a load before settling down to his homework. Make sure he doesn't leave it sitting there forever.
Next time he needs socks, tell him to look for them himself. He's a big boy now.
Someday in the distant future your daughter-in-law will thank you.

I have a 13 year old daughter who will wear what I buy her if she refuses to go shopping with me. She also does her laundry with lots of reminders throughout the process.

Answer 5

My son is 11 and he will only wear ankle socks...it would be the end of the world if i made him wear reg. length tube socks. In order to prevent hassles in the morning over clothes and socks, I make sure he gets his own clothes and socks ready the night before...This way I don't need to fight with him in the morning and knows what he is wearing.

Answer 6

It's dirty socks, not pornography or swearing at the pastor in church so I say ignore it. They're his stinky feet. Once he discovers girls, his socks won't be clean enough and you'll never get him out of the shower!!
I did like your point of suggesting he get a paper route to purchase his favourite kind of socks. This builds self-confidence through responsibility anyway.
Best of luck!!

Answer 7

Tell him if he doesn't like the socks you buy to buy them himself!
At 14 he should be finding his own socks. You were nice enough to stop and get him a pair. Yeah I think I would have a long talk with him. Sounds like he's needing talking too......

Answer 8

You could be dealing with something more serious than socks. You could stop treating him like a baby and make him more responsible for him and his stuff. Hey to go threw that scenerio would send me over the edge, because it does not seem to be necessary. You allow it so he does it, hey you might want to deal with it now, depends on how "serious" you see it.

Answer 9

Let him wear the dirty socks and teach him how to wash them. Also spring for the type of socks he likes they're not that damned expensive.

Answer 10

I would be going with two and three. If he does not like what you are providing him with then he needs to learn the responsibility of buying what he like or prefers to wear.....i would not go chasing things up for him.If he is 14 he can find his own socks.Good for you for trying but if he is being a pain in the rump be a pain in his .GOOD LUCK

Answer 11

I believe if that is your worst concern with your 14 yr. old. you are doing well! Tell him to throw them in the dryer if that is REALLY his choice of how to go about the problem! Then he can do a load of laundry when he gets home!