my friends and family think i need to talk to some1...?

Question

they think cause am insecure and jealous all the time i need to talk to some1 but the doctor dsnt want to know he refered me to this company called relate but they didnt help what shall i do

Answer 1

go see another doctor and asked to be refered to see a councillor and don't take no for a answer, keep trying

Answer 2

Purdy you really do need help and I urge you to seek it a.s.a.p. You have something like 52 questions on here, mostly about your relationship, which says you are frightened he will leave, he keeps you a secret, you want to leave him etc. etc. I mean this in the best of intentions and concern for you, your family are right and you desperately need help. Relate is an organisation for couples counselling - did you actually go? This is not what you need anyway, but you do need counselling. Are there no counselling organisations where you live? Go back and see a different doctor and ask him to refer you for counselling. I also think you are depressed and your GP should help you with that too. Posting question after question on here is not the answer. I really hope from the bottom of my heart that you get the help you need, but I do think your family and friends should be more supportive. A first step would be to get out of the destructive relationship you are in. I wish you all the luck and love in the world that you get yourself sorted out.

Answer 3

Do you think you are insecure and jealous. You need to ask your friends and family what makes them think this about you tell them you need more explaination of what it is you do and or say that gives them this impression. What you need is to build your self esteem. Building self esteem is not the same as being confident. Self esteem means that you feel valued. This comes from outside from your friends and your family and your employer or fellow students and teachers. You may have very good reasons for feeling this way. Some times it is the very people we love and trust that dismiss our feelings as insecure and jealous. Jealous means not wanting others to have what they have and i am sure that you do not feel this way. Being insecure is something most people at some time feel and if you have had a difficult life and have not been understood or treated fairly of course you may feel insecure. You have to decide what is it about your behaviour that causes others to think these things. There is always someone who will judge us. Best way forward is to decide what is it you want from your life and take steps in building self esteem. You may think it is crazy but sometimes our diet or intake of certain foods and or substances can render us unhappy. I find that exercise taken regularly such as swimming or taking the dog for a long walk or joining an organisation where we are helping others or learning a new skill will sort out their critiscism. Society does not like sensitive people and are quick to judge. Forget about them and live life to the very fullest and do it for you not anyone else. Good luck.

Answer 4

I thought Relate were for realtionship counselling. In what way did they not help you? Did you go back to the doctor to tell him? Is there a nurse at your surgery as they are often more helpful with things like this as they have slightly more time available.

If not, why not first try Relate's online help, you can email their counsellors. you may feel a bite asier about speaking to someone in this way, and you may get a different counsellor who is more in tune with your feelings.

http://www.relate.org.uk/

If that's no help, why not choose 2 or 3 of your family and friends who you trust the most, but preferably don;'t know each other well, and invite them round for a 'personality boosting' evening. If you see facing these accusations as a positive thing you can gain experience from and build on, then perhaps you can learn from it, and perhaps they may misunderstand your actions or feelings sometimes.

You ahven't actually mentioned whether YOU think that they're right!

Answer 5

if you acknowledge what others think as true, then you may need guidance. When one type of therapy does not work , you should try to find one that does. perhaps you can try and see another doctor who will be more interested and who will refer you somewhere else.

in the mean time you can start to work on the insecurity issues,when they are sorted you may not be such a jealous person. do you know what makes you feel insecure, perhaps the people around you have helped to fuel it.

most people have felt insecure at some stage of their lives,so don't feel disheartened, as it is something you can work on.according to wikepedia "a person who is insecure lacks confidence in their own value and capability. "

many people have used self help methods, which work for some, but others find it makes the problem worse. this would be because it increases the focus on one self, as opposed to decreasing it. I am pretty sure there are chatrooms where these issues are discussed ,which may help you , as you will be able to express yourself more there then you can here.

keep working on it, but don't let it consume your entire life as you may land up quite depressed. some old fashioned advice is to set realistic goals and achieve them at your pace. good luck.

Answer 6

I think it much depends on your age, although feelings of jealousy and insecurity can be very deep, you need to look at the subjects of these feelings.
the doctor will refer you on if it is a family issue so this is standard practice.
try to focus on how these feelings make you really feel as sometimes feelings of jealousy can make you feel happy (ier)
its just an idea but try to get away from the things that make you feel these things as much as poss i.e take long walks buss rides.
it is a very hard situation you are in but with time im sure that these feelings will ease and eventually disappear

Answer 7

hey soz to hear u feel like that i hope that u tried wif the relate thing coz if ur not willing and open councillin wont work hospitals hav councilers or try lookin in the yellow pages or social serices u got to b opened minded bout it though or it wont work coz ur mind wont b thinkin of causes or solutions i been to councillin it didnt help me but im just that type of person so wat i do is figure out y i feel how i do think of ways i can sort it go and hav a good time wif m8s and then come bac to it wen im feeling happier i get more out of it wen i come bac fresh it could also b a hormonal or dietry thing so get ur doc to check that hormone imbalance is very common i got something like that and i get overly aggressive for no reason cant help it it just happens but wen i think bout i see how silly i was a think of ways to stop it happenin again

Answer 8

do you think you need to talk to someone cos if you are going for the sake of others there is no point, i have been to relate myself and it did help. if you are feeling like this because of a partner you might want to get him/her to go along with you, my partner didn't want to go with me but we are so glad we did, it helped us in every way, we are much stronger now and if i do feel insecure and jealous I'm able to sit down and tell him why. (which we had never done before) if you do want to talk to someone i would suggest giving it another go,
best of luck
take care

Answer 9

It sounds to me like a classic case of low self esteem. I too suffered from this for years. The only way to overcome this is to get to know yourself, and believe in you. You must not depend on others to make you happy. People are going to do what they do regardless of what you say to them. Build up yourself! If you have a pastor, friend, teacher or someone to talk to I would, and definately seek out a therapist.

Answer 10

Think of the other people involved. My ex's wife got up one morning and left him and his small daughter, I was married to him for 25 years and had 5 kids, but I felt he punish me for what had happened to him and was forever accusing me wrongly of affairs, etc. We tried relate but it made the situation worse as he was told to stop but he wouldn't and after all those years I couldn't take anymore and got up one morning like his first wife and left!
I tried to help him understand and see what was happening but he never sought help, in my experience I feel relate are not the answer, but you should see a councillor

Answer 11

Hi
If I were you I'd go back to your GP and tell them that the referral hasn't helped. I had numerous visits to a GP before they finally took me seriously. I'm now getting the help that I asked for although it took nearly 2 years. Good luck, but more importantly believe in yourself !