We plan on getting engagedHe wants to save up so he can get me a really expensive ring.I have told him not to be silly and that I don't care what ring it is once it's from him.
I have now put a sex ban on him, everything else goes bar intercourse until wers engaged I only half mean it but it's been two weeks now.
Am I pushing my luck here?
2006-09-28 00:11:39 · 36 answers · asked by Danielle 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Why on earth do you want to put in place a sex ban? You may or may not be pushing you luck here - but I don't see the reason why, especialliy if prior to the issue being raised it was all good. What sort of incentive program in that? What sort of message does it give as to the games you're going to play later in life? Personally, I'd be a tad twitchy - never mind gagging for it.
And I agree on the ring - a nice ring is good, but the money can be better spent.
2006-09-28 00:15:37 · answer #1 · answered by Felidae 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I Been In That Situation.. I Hated It Because I Went Through It All The Way Up Till 2 Months Ago When She Went To Visit Family In Iran And Fell Inlove With Her Cousin And I Was Stuck With NoOne.. Heart Broken. If I Was You I Would Stick With Him And Not Put A Ban On Him Because You Never Know What Will Happen. Im Still Hurt Even Though She Told Me I Was The 1 And We Were Gonna Get Married In Decemeber 6th. How Gutted Do You Think I Feel? Stay With Him, Trust Him, Love Him And Dont Put Any Restrictions On Him Because It Will Leave Someone Heart Broken
2006-09-28 00:17:24 · answer #2 · answered by Romeo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you doing the sex ban because you want him to ask you to get married sooner or because you want to make it special for when you are engaged? If it's the former, then not only are you pushing your luck, but you're being manipulative and selfish. This is the man you want to marry who wants to do something nice for you by saving up to buy a ring and you're toying with him to get what you want?? That is ridiculous. Marriage is about a partnership, about compromising, about give and take. You also say that you've only been with him since the start of July--that's only 2 months. What are you rushing into marriage for? I know that when you know he's right, that that's all that matters, but there's no need to rush into it and pressure him to do it sooner when you've only been dating for two, nearly 3 months. So, maybe you need to rethink your actions and rethink your tactics and think about why you want this engagement ring so badly. Do you feel like you want to show off to your friends? Is it the guy you want or simply the ring? You definitely need to seriously rethink your actions.
2006-09-28 11:56:04 · answer #3 · answered by ms. teacher ft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to put a sex ban on him until you get engaged? Sounds like you're trying to manipulate him to me, and that's not how it should work in a loving relationship with Mr Right - proper communcation should be the answer! If you were doing it for religious reasons, fair enough, but if it started as a joke, then put a stop to it.
As for your ring, let him save up a bit, he wants to spoil his future wife! But if you don't want him to spend too much then make him realise that the money could be better spent on building a life together. Go to the Jewellery Quarter in Birmingham with what money you have, and make sure you haggle.
2006-09-29 05:14:48 · answer #4 · answered by pomme_blanche_2004 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congrats on the engagement plans! The fact that you really don't care about what type of ring he gets you, is a big give-away on your feelings towards him. I'm so happy for you! As goes for the sex ban... I'm not too sure. Have you explained this to him? I mean, why you're doing it? Is there a reason at all? If there's no reason for it, there's no point in keeping the ban. But if it means alot to you, tell him why.
2006-09-28 00:19:23 · answer #5 · answered by lily_tuesday 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, this is the 21st century, if your that into the guy don't wait for him to ask get in first!!
And good luck whatever you decide!
Oh and I agree with some of the others that a sex ban might be a bit over the top but if he's sticking around I think he's a good bloke.
2006-09-28 00:29:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't really 'plan' to get engaged. Being engaged is about promising yourself to the other person and then together you plan your wedding & the rest of your life.
I made the decsion to ask my better half to marry me (obviously we'd talked about the future together) but I didn't get together with her to plan how or when I was going to do it. We had walked pass shop windows together & so I knew what sort of ring (vintage & not new) to get her (and knew her size), so when I'd found the money, I bought a ring (very nice indeed) and popped the question!
Putting a sex-ban in place does make it sound like a bit of a bribe to get him to propose ...... not cool!
Proposing is damn frightening for the guy (even if he knows what he's doing is 101% right) - you're adding to the poor guys stress levels ........ could end in tears!
If you want to be in control ....... you ask him :O)
2006-09-28 00:28:35 · answer #7 · answered by nickthesurfer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's stupid....It's way too early to want to get engaged...Every couple talks about it, but that doesn't mean it's time...as far as you putting a ban on him until he proposes is not romantic in any way and will only make him feel pressure...Do not do that, because if you force him into it he will regret it constantly and either end up calling it off and hurting you later or just being plain mean throughout the marriage....
Just let him do it when he is ready...
2006-09-28 02:07:40 · answer #8 · answered by Julie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you haven't know him that long and that maybe would have worked before you already gave up the milk but you can't ask a guy to make a commitment like that when you really don't even know each other that well. One thing about men they don't commit as easy as women, but when they do and they were not tricked or forced or coerced into it they really mean it. What I'm trying to say if he does it all by his self with you not pressuring him an with holding sex it will mean he really loves you.
2006-09-28 02:32:55 · answer #9 · answered by Shonreaq G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
congrats on finding each other,he wants to find you a beautiful ring because you will be wearing it on your finger for the rest of your life,he wants you to be proud and make you very happy,lucky you.
if you were happy enough to have sex before this why have you started a sex ban??have you spoken to him of your reasoning behind this?is it because of the engagement ring not coming fast enough?don't do this to punish or get at him it will only hurt both of you in the end,enjoy each other,and best of luck.
2006-10-01 17:57:13 · answer #10 · answered by Carrie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋