i am 23 and i still live at home i want to get my own place but i dont know how to tell my parents i want to leave. my mum relies on me alot to help her round the house
2006-09-28 00:03:21 · 38 answers · asked by yedwana2k6 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell them this is about you not them.... they are wonderful parents but you need your own space
maybe you can still help your mom a bit?
2006-09-28 00:04:32 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son is 19 years old and moved out 3 months ago. I encouraged him, so he could live and learn. I thought when that day came I would be devistated, but as he got older, got older, and I realized he would one day want to venture out. He loves having his own place, and I see him more now than I did when he lived at home. I'm very proud of him, and I sit back and watch him be the go getting that he is, and I just tell myself, I taught him right. The door is always open. Just sit down wiith your mom and tell her how you feel, and she will most likely give you the encouragement you are looking for. You are 23 and it is time for you to do something on your own. Alot of people are married before the age 23, and you are doing everything the right way. Good luck!
2006-09-28 00:45:32 · answer #2 · answered by Paulda37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your parents how you feel and the reason why you feel that you need to leave home? is it because they have a strong hold on you and your freedom?
but since your mom needs you most right now and if there's no urgent or important reason on why you have to leave, maybe it would be a good idea to balance out the cost and benefits of leaving and staying. also another alternative is that if you have other siblings or relatives and friends willing to take turns to help your mom, then your mom wouldn't rely on you solely and so giving you more freedom to do what you want.
hope this helps!
2006-09-28 00:14:35 · answer #3 · answered by taffy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 23 it is time to get out on your own and spread your wings. Do you have a job and the ability of make it on your own? Your mum may rely on you to help her out, but she will survive. If you have all your ducks in a row, and are ready to go, just set her down and explain to her your need become the independent, successful adult SHE raised.
2006-09-28 00:07:57 · answer #4 · answered by Qusan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first you need to show them financially you can afford it / if you can start bringing up that you are considering getting a place to live closer to work or with a room mate it is expensive to live on your own / tell her you can still come over and help her if she needs you too dont leave the home for the wrong reasons of just getting away it is very expensive setting up an apartment for the first time
2006-09-28 00:34:29 · answer #5 · answered by jerry k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st off...you're 23 and you are not a little child anymore. Secure yourself an apartment or a house. After you've taken the 1st step to freedom by setting yourself up in an apartment or a house of your own....you kindly sit your mom/dad down and tell them it's time the birdie left the nest and tell them that you've gotten a place of your own and will be moving out.
You might be surprized!!! MOM/DAD might jump up and do that HAPPY DANCE!!! (i know i would've kicked your birdie butt out ages ago)
2006-09-28 00:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being independant is a process that parents have to learn sooner or later. Sit your mom down and tell her how you feel about this situation, show her that you have a definite plan, and let her know you aren't abandoning her. Let her know that you need a little time and space with your life and a new way to grow. She will be ready when you can explain it to her in an adult way.
2006-09-28 00:16:09 · answer #7 · answered by merlinmx5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To save hurting their feelings just say that as ur 23 ur thinking of renting/buying ur own place and spreading ur wings and finding out what life is all about (and how expensive it is) but u will still see them/visit/phone regularly.
Bet ur mum wont take it as hard as u think but will be upset 'her baby is growing up and leaving the nest' but she will be happy for you! x
2006-09-28 00:17:40 · answer #8 · answered by sweetfemaleattitudeuk2076 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have never mentioned to them that you are thinking of moving out, then do it gently.
Perhaps tell them about a friend of yours who got her own apartment,
Perhaps say that you heard about a job in another town that you would like, but you would worry about your parents - they might say that you should go for it,
Perhaps you could start a conversation about how old your parents were when they left home,
Perhaps you could leave a newspaper on the table with "Apartments" circled,
Whatever you do, please do it gently.
Parents are supposed to be there to give their children roots & wings, yours have obviously given you roots, now their job is to let you stretch your wings!
Good Luck!
2006-09-28 00:15:36 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all can you afford to live on your own? are you the only family your mom has got left? if not she needs to rely on somebody else or get her life together and rely on herself, she must remember she had her youth and now it is your turn, you and your mom can pick one day of the week say for instance Sunday and spend whole time together on catching up on the week or doing shopping you will see that you will grow stronger with your mom if you are honest with her and let her understand that you will always be there for her.
2006-09-28 00:15:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah, not so easy. the word obligation and duty seem to be holding you back.
whilst it is an honourbale thing to do, we do have our own lives to lead. althought your mum needs you, i am sure she will support your decision to leave home..your not going to another planet..and the one weve got is pretty small these days.
if you dont go, thats when resentment appears, and soon the resentment becomes anger... and frustration... and thats not good for either of you. why cant dad help out? you dont say whether youre in the US or Uk, i cant speak for the yank system, (which is pretty non existent) but weve got a pretty good system run by social services... they wil help you in more ways that you can imagine...all it takes is a phone call, their number is in the local ohone book...
you have a life to live, a family to beget and a job to do... which is what your mum and dad would want for you. they, i am pretty sure, dont want you wastng your life looking after them. discuss it with them....
and stop feeling guilty. if you leave, its not like youre never going to see them again... is it?
of course i told my mum i was leaving..she said why wait and threw me out... i was 16... im almost 50 now...
my younger brother stayed home, and mum looked after everything for him, she paid his bills and did his washing..and now shes dead, he cant do anything himself. hes just run a perfectly good bakery into the ground and accrued debts of over 20 thousand pounds..in one year... and hes 42... living under apron strings doesnt do you any good. you need to get out there, you need to expand your horizons. or you'll be 40, and single... with no hope and no career... you owe yourself the opportunity to have a life. mum and dad managed perfectly well before you arrived, and theyll manage just as well now.
go for it. or you ll spend the rest of your life regretting you didnt.
good luck, and best wishes.
2006-09-28 00:27:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋