help my kids are driving me crazy!!!!?

Question

I am a single mom 100% of the time, my kids are 1 and 2 I am going insane what can I do? I have tried talking to them I have tried time outs and 1 2 3s, I have spanked and yelled till I am blue in the face NOTHING is working. They're not bad kids they just act horrible most of the time, but only when together they are angles apart.

for all you saying dont spank dont yell just love obviously you dont have children or are not a single parent at least IT DOESNT WORK!!!! Nothing does, I have read all the answers and none of it works

Answer 1

Common Sense Parenting

It works!!! There is a toddler/ preschooler edition out. Find this book and read up. Also many schools and other agencies offer this as a class (often free or very cheap)

The number one thing that this book teaches is positive reinforcement. You know those really annoying moms that run around saying "good job Timmy" and "oh I'm so proud of you for not screaming when we were leaving the store" or whatever. Do it, fake it, they love it!

2 things we use from the book most...

We use sticker charts in my house for my 2 yr old. We pick a specific behavior that we want to work on (using his words, saying thank you, cleaning up, waiting without screaming, potty in the toilet) and we put up a piece of paper with his new behavior and everytime he does it right he gets a sticker and smothered in kisses

Contingencies... If you do ____ you can do/have ____ This is not bribing it is rewarding (bribing is giving your kid something to shut them up even if there behavior is crappy) Find something you kids like and use it to change them into something you can live with.

Find this book or class or workbook at boystownpress.org it will change you life!!

Answer 2

Ok, I am about to suggest something that some people might not like...So don't send me hate mail. Vinegar. It doesn't hurt your kids in anyway it's just unpleasant for them. My son would not repsond to time outs at all. In fact he thought they were SO funny. I tried everything. Then I got a spray bottle and put some vinegar in it. The next time I asked him not to do something and he made it to his third warning I did one squirt in his mouth. I only had to do that twice. Now I just hold up the bottle and he stops what he is doing.

It's not something every parent feels comfortable doing, but it was the best no pain last resort I ever used.

You can also try postive reenforcement. Having them earn a prize for being good. Sometimes just catching your kids being good really helps. Next time your kids are being little angels make a HUGE deal about it. They will want to be good more often if they get hugs and kisses and other fun stuff when they are good

But the fact is you have two young toddlers. Toddler's job is to push your buttons. Don't let them. Every time you lose control and yell and go nuts they think that is great. "hey look at the crazy mad dance we made mommy do!"

Also, find someone for yourself to talk to. Nothing can make a mom feel better than another mom to call sometimes. It's nice to hear from other moms that their kids make them do the "mad dance" sometimes too :) It will get better, keep your head up, Good luck

Answer 3

Tough one... you still have some time to go before things quiet down. For now, I would say to try and deal with the 2 year old's behavior... since the 1 year old is just acting out of frustration. If you can manage your older one a bit better, the younger one will follow suit. Try finding an activity that both really enjoy and make a point to do that when they're together to keep some peace.

Answer 4

I think the problem is probably that you don't carry through on punishments, I have five children and I learned that if you make threats and don't carry through with them those threats mean nothing! Also a one and two year old are nowhere near being able to understand what being GOOD is all about. They are very young yet. Have you ever heard the expression terrible twos some children do have terrible ones, just so you know sometimes having shildren that close together sometimes raises problems with attention. Give them as much as you can and when you need to walk away do it, because they are your children and you love them. They will get older and understand more, be patient and don't expect to much from them. but make sure you are consistant.

Answer 5

The best things for children is consistency. You need to be very stern when disciplining your kids. When you go out to eat try taking a coloring activity book with you and crayons for each of them. Let them play while you are cooking or waiting for their food at a restaurant. When they are acting out, place them on time out for 2 minutes per age year. For example 1 yr 2 minutes. 2yrs old 4 minutes. You may want to get a small stool or mat and label it as the naughty mat. Not all discipline has to deal with spankings. The next thing you can always try is taking away toys or rewarding them for being good with a chart and fake money to buy things from you .
These methods work wonders for me and my kids. Hopefully they will work as good for you

Answer 6

All people continue a behavior as long as it gets them what they want. It sounds like your family has learned to operate this way. They scream, you jump. They fight, you intervene. In both situations they get attention. Find a mothers of preschoolers group, it's free, they have childcare, and you get a break. I can help you more if you want, just email me. My kids are 16, 17, and 18, with the 2 youngest the same age for 2 weeks a year. I also work with behavior disorder kids.

Answer 7

Sounds to me like they're normal toddlers.Spanking and yelling only promote aggressive behavior.If at all possible try to get someone to watch them for you at least once a month so you can have some you time.I am a mother of 3 and at least once a month my friend and i will watch each others kids so we can each have "mommy" time and don't have to pay a sitter.I know it doesn't seem like it now but it does get better.Just remember be consistent and love 'em and things will work out.

Answer 8

The only way is to keep them busy.You have to have a schedule for them.Include them in different things that you do.Taking them to the playgrounds will help you alot.Playing with Lego's or wooden blocks should be interesting.They are at age where you have to drop everything and just be with them until they go to bed.After 3 years of age is when they leave you alone for a little bit.Until then you are stock with the situation.i went true it and i know how hard it is.Hang in there mom.i still feel the same and my kids are 4 and 2.

Answer 9

Not only do you need a break sometimes, but they do too. Maybe you can ask a family member take one so they can be separated a bit. I find the samething with my 2 and 4 year old. Most of the time they are competeing for my attention (even though I am with them all day and keep them entertained). Sometimes they need granma time alone or mommy time alone.

Answer 10

I have two little ones as well and what I'm learning is that as long as they are not in danger, not hurting themselves or eachother, you need to learn to listen to them cry and not always rescue them. I think I encouraged more crying than necessary in my two and a half year old by trying to help her with everything as soon as she cried. Now, I'm working on deep breathing and singing happy songs when things get harry. If you can handle a week of LOTS of crying, maybe they will start to learn to help themselves more often. Hang in there. Also, as much as you are able, give them time individually. I know it's hard but they are probably both asking for your attention. Just do what you can. It's going to be OK.