We've been dating on and off for 2 yrs.We fight about stupid things and then we break up!Its so childish.I love him so much..but hes hard to get along with.Hes a great guy the only problem is he thinks he can tell me what to do,and when he wants sex he gets pissed if he doesnt get it.Im starting to have second thoughts about living with him...but if i move out could it ruin our relationship?......I love him way too much to let him go....and ive tried waiting to see if it'll work out...but it hasnt....help plz?
2006-09-25 21:47:04 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's true that if you move out it will effect the relationship - if not ruin it.
If you aren't ready for this...then you need to have a sit down, knee cap to knee cap discussion about how to solve differences...especially with petty arguments.
And he needs to understand that because you say no to sex, doesn't mean he isn't loved...it simply means no. Your body - your right.
Hopefully, the petty arguments will end with a little growing up.
Otherwise you will be considering that "move" more and more seriously.
2006-09-25 21:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by Warrior 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think moving in with someone is a big step that's why it is hard on both of you. However it is also a good test for your relationship and seeing how the other person really is. So I think you should really think about moving out and really think about how he is treating you. If you move out and he wants to break up then you know he is not for you. I think if he is a good guy like you say then he should be able to understand were you are coming from. Tell him that you don't want to break up that you are doing it to save your relationship. Love is beautiful and all but it can also be blind. Always keep an open mind. You also have to think what love really means to you and if that's what he does for you. In the end you will only end up with an even bigger broken heart. I truly wish you all the best with your man. Also keep in mind your body is your temple and no one can do with it what they want except for you. So don't feel bad when you do not feel like having intercourse it okay to not want to. It happens to all woman trust me. Just think about this question would you get mad at him is he did not want to have sex?
2006-09-25 22:06:45 · answer #2 · answered by Lissette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds slightly controlling and unwilling for you to live on an equal footing. I would ask yourself whether you are content to be a doormat all your life, or whether staying together will just foster resentment and arguement. You say you love him way too much, but I would ask yourself what sort of love you both have? I always thought love was as much give as take and about partnership - from what you've said, your relationship is making you unhappy in the long term and seems to be one way traffic. Have a long look at your life, and if you decide that it's not how you want to live then it's best to call it off sooner rather than later - nothing good will come of staying together for the sake of staying together.
2006-09-25 21:53:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, personal experience: i dated i guy for 2 years then we moved in together...just like you we fought very often, for very stupid reasons. every time we'd end up apologizing to each other and hugging, promising that we wont fight any more. but it was all the same. i loved him alot and i still do and i know he loves me too, but i realized that that's not the way i wanna spend the rest of my life, since we were planning to get married!we both deserve better and i dont wana keep on crying every day, so i got some courage and broke it off. it was hard in the beginning but life goes on and i am much happier not with not being nervous and angry every day. we still hang out occasionally and we dont fight at all, we talk about a lot of thing, but living separate lives...life sucks sometimes, although you love each other, you are just not compatible...sorry for long answer.
2006-09-25 21:58:19 · answer #4 · answered by Mila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me your boyfriend is having a hard time dealing with something. I don't know and maybe you never will. Did you try talking to him about it? Sex for some men means acceptance, maybe he feels like you reject him to often. I know that when I was younger I thought I was being rejected when my girl did'nt want to be intimate. But I found out later that she just wanted me to grow up a little and not be so clingy. Just tell him that you are your own person and that's all you'll ever be. Some people finally get it once you let them know you won't be trampled.
2006-09-25 21:54:46 · answer #5 · answered by RIDLEY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have answered your own question- moving in probably made him expect more from you- that does not help-you are not his wife- I think you know he is not the best or 2nd best for you-move out and do what is best for you- he will be fine - he is a big boy. Love him enough to let him go! You may be hooked on bad relationships- take a long hard- deep look into yourself- and be honest w yourself- this relationship is not good for you. take care-D
2006-09-25 21:56:28 · answer #6 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to stay, then you have to sit him down and make him understand that it has to be fifty-fifty. That you love him dearly and deeply. but in order for it to work you both have to be considered equal.The first thing you both need to do is declare that you both will always have respect for the others opinion. When you cannot achieve this, then you must have a meeting of the minds and be willing to compromise.
He must be able to adhere to that logic. If not, the longer you take to move, the harder the pain will be when you eventually do.
If you move, it mus be because of your terms...not his.
2006-09-25 22:13:17 · answer #7 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
always remember that whatever bad character your boyfriend has while still single it will worsen when you two get married. just try to ask yourself if you can live as a martyr for 40 years or more. if you can then good luck! if not then leave. go out and date. you still have all the freedom. your still single. dont limit yourself to one choice for a lifetime partner. remember you deserve a good husband that would make you and your kids happy and contented. what if your sick and your not into it? would he still get pissed off? what if you will look old and fat? would you still be considered attractive in his eyes? think thrice or a hundred times if he deserves your sacrifice.
2006-09-25 21:57:09 · answer #8 · answered by richilesy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ppl like ur boyfriend dont understand things well,he maybe big age wise but his mentality is still that of a 7 yr olds ,so its not worth speaking to such ppl ,because its very difficult to make them understand,its only wen they go through a situation of crisis that they change,so now its upto you whether u still wanna live with him,but i would recommend you to let him go,or else u can still continue to let your life be hell.i hope u take the right decision.
2006-09-25 21:54:57 · answer #9 · answered by mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk with out with him and come to an understanding about what you think and feel about him, how could he change for the better and etc... just be really honest and open...
change is not bad, you should also come to accept whether its with him or with another person... but start the talk about respecting the other person's view.. good luck
2006-09-25 21:53:50 · answer #10 · answered by Diane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋