Hey everyone I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and he is 32 years old and I am 23. Anyway, I love him and he loves me. However, he is kind of pressuring me to get married and I feel that I am not ready. I want to finish school and I want to travel by myself before settling down, but our relationship has already turned into a sort of marriage without the title and without living together. I mean he wants me to go everywhere with him and be with him or call him at all times. It kind of seems that he is obsessed but he says that it is love. I am not ready for marriage, but I know that I want to marry him in the future. What should I do? Am I wrong for feeling like this. Also sometimes I dont feel like having sex at all. But I have also recently begun birth control pills so that might be the reason for this down fall in sex. Please help what do I do, I dont want to offend him but I am not ready and I kind of want my space.
2006-09-25 19:56:57 · 6 answers · asked by gm 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be firm on this. Don't let him make you do anything you aren't ready for. And please don't give up on your dreams.
I gave up my dreams of what I wanted to do before getting married. I gave up my life and lived HIS version of life. Big mistake. I wanted to be a nurse in a 3rd world country...deliver babys etc. Then I was going to backpack across Europe. Now I am a divorced Grandma. And never lived my dream.
If you guys have a strong love, he will let you go. If he hangs on tight he will smother you and if you stick in there, you will resent him.
You just have one life. And plenty of time to settle down later.
Obcession will lead you down a crazy road. Might be time to take a turn & do what you need to do to be you. And if things are right then you and your guy will eventually end up together.
Let me give you an example. When I was married I wanted to do art work, classes, get a camera etc. I was told it was a waste of time. After the divorice the man in my life gave me a camera and in a couple of months I was showing my black & white Photographs in two places. True love honors your dreams and desires. A Controlling person who says they love will squelch your dreams. And eventually you will wonder when you lost who you were and how you got to a place where you are living HIS version of life. A good union means each person supports the other.
2006-09-25 20:11:24 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are stringing him along and that isn't fair to him. Tell him how you feel and if it doesn't work for him, break up. He is only getting older and if he wants kids he should be with somebody who is at his stage in the game inlife. You obviously want more time than he does. You both seem to be at differant stages in life and this can't work in the long run unless somebody has to compromise and risk becoming resentful. That never works with relationships. Love isn't a good enough reason to stay with somebody, you need a connection to the fuse.
2006-09-25 21:57:39 · answer #2 · answered by mama mia! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you recognize your self that you need to sense free. you're for sure no longer satisfied with her any more beneficial. it ought to easily be a case of that the courting has run its direction and think ofyou've got were given to move on. you've a 5 year previous. it really is straightforward to be pals. you could finally end up being one among those couples that finally end up more beneficial positive as pals than as enthusiasts. you should ask your self this - is it undesirable more beneficial circumstances than strong? Are you happier aside than mutually? If it receives to the point in any courting the position the undesirable circumstances a concepts outweigh the strong then its time to call it an afternoon. it would nicely be that she is feeling the very similar as you yet neither ought to be the first to assert the courting is complete. the actual undeniable reality that issues have lengthy gone back to the way they were earlier you had your destroy says all of it quite. in case you're squabbling over petty little issues then that isn't a strong signal. anybody merits to sense free. both you and her. you in worry-free words get one shot at life and in case you sense the opt to end it now earlier it receives too undesirable then do it. merely say that you're feeling you've come complete circle and issues are back to the former way that neither of you loved. Ask her how she feels issues at the prompt are you're giving it yet another pass. She would sense a similar. positioned it this way - would you quite someone stayed with you because they felt too scared to end it or would you quite study? i understand i'd quite sense free and unmarried than mutually and unhappy. trust me - I stayed with someone for 8 years cos i change into too poultry to end it. when I did it felt like the whole international change into lifted from my shoulders. It were given to the point the position i in my opinion hated the sight of him and couldn't undergo to be interior a similar room as him. i determined I wasn't going to be unhappy any more beneficial and merely left. Be courageous. Its your life. you're entitled to sense free. strong success
2016-10-16 02:22:07 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him abt your feelings. And i think he already think of you as his wife; he's not obsessed. And as for your feelings abt marriage there's nothing wrong abt it, it just you want to see more of life bef settling down. You are nt ready for commitment.
2006-09-25 20:08:33 · answer #4 · answered by Saphire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all I can say is talk to him and be open. If he cannot have enough respect for your feelings on the matter, then you should probably move on. My guess is, if you sit down and talk to him and say what you said here, he will probably understand.
2006-09-25 20:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by daggermouth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should have loved a guy in u r age so dat he would be waiting for u .now u r lover can't wait coz he's already 32
2006-09-25 20:00:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋