He is five, and having problems adjusting to kindergarten. He has been to a doctor and doesn't have any neurological problems, but has tantrums, doesn't play well with other kids, and cries very easily. He has poor self esteem and freaks out when the "rules" or routine isn't followed. Any advice??
2006-09-25 18:30:00 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Most importantly, understand with the person you're divorcing that through your anger, you will hurt the child more than each other. For your stepson's sake, you need to both agree to deal with the issues of separation without trying to hurt each other.
Your stepson sounds like he's very focused on getting through what seems to him like a difficult and potentially painful world. He needs more happy moments.
2006-09-25 18:48:47 · answer #1 · answered by beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I thik havving someone on the outside talk with him is a good thing, but at the same time, always reassure him tha you are always there for him. Always ask him how his day was, but make sure you dont do it in a way that seems probing. Just enough so that he can see that you care about him. Also, when your asking the question of how was your day, try to be doing something minor, but when he starts to answer, make sure you turn your full attention towards him.
There is always a time when he may not play well with others, but keep at him. Dont be afraid to go out and make more friends yourself. The majority of my friends met through having parents who knew each other.
About his tantrums...dont encourage them, but accept that they are inevitable. For the age that he is at, it is perfectly alright to have tantrums, as long as you keep control over him. Dont let him run wild doing whatever he wants to do. Make sure that you make a choice, and then stick with that choice.
About the self esteem issue, their's not much that you can do. Really, just make sure that you stay close with him, and always be the best friend that you can be. Let him come to you when he needs help, but in return, try to include him in some of the work you do personally, whether that is work around the house, or proessional. This will show him that you are fair, and it also creates a sense that she owes me, so if I need help, I can ask her and she would do it.
About following the rules too strictly, theres not much you can do. Thats something that he will eventually either grow out of, or not grow out of.
All in all, I wish you the best of luck with the stepson!
2006-09-25 18:49:09 · answer #2 · answered by pyro_briar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just comfort him and explain to him any details that you think he can handle. My son was that was and he is finally growing out of it, (he's 10 now). But you just need to be there form him and let him know that everything will be ok. Take him to the park or where other kids play to see if he can get involved with the activities or you can try him in some sports. If he is used to a routine then you really need to stick with it or if something comes up explain to him what is going on and try to come up with a compromise for going around the routine.
2006-09-25 18:34:20 · answer #3 · answered by medevilqueen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he needs some counseling. Having someone to talk to that is an outsider always helps. If your looking for self-help without any counseling then you need to go to the library and get some books on the subject. I will tell you this from experience though, it will take every adult this kid is around to participate. You will not be able to do it alone.
2006-09-25 18:37:52 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Candi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out what he IS good at and what he DOES like or enjoy, and build on that. Try to expand from there until he is generally more confident, less insecure, and more open to others.
2006-09-25 18:39:51 · answer #5 · answered by ralph w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋