pain I was going threw. Brother died three days later was in a coma, and I learned when a love one dies to get together as a family and talk, about what pain everybody is going threw..it is good to be there for the entire family...
2006-09-25 18:18:45 · 4 answers · asked by qdrama1956 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
sorry to hear about your losses....may all our prayers be with you. As for your father...we all grieve differently. some stay in a state of denial till they die. Others wear their emotions on their sleeves. You should be there for whom ever may need a shoulder to cry on. Even if it may be the toughest thing to go through, someone has to be strong. My Uncle died in 1981 and I still cry for him on occasions...just do your best to be strong around others that may not be...even holding a hand a being silent can be a cure in it self...good luck...my prayers are with you and your...
2006-09-25 18:24:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People grieve differently. At the time of your brother's death your father most likely felt he needed to be your families stable rock and show strength.
In grief someone is usually the strong one who keeps everything together, handles details, and keeps life moving while everyone else falls apart. Most of the time despit intense grief they feel they do not cry.
My grandfater was my hero, my father figure and my whole world. When he passed away suddenly my entire family fell apart, grandmother, aunt's uncles kids friends the whole nine yards. At the same time I was going through a divorce.
I put everything on hold, arranged for my young daughter to stay with my ex's family and went to work making arrangements calling out of town families and being there for everyone crying their hearts out.
I never shed a tear, not in the ER when he died less then a mile from my front door, not at the funeral picking out caskets nor at the viewing. No tears came at the mass or the burial.
Weeks went by and no tears came, then months and years.
Sometimes at odd moments something will strike me that evokes a memory of him and I hurt and I miss him. Sometimes when I feel all alone or I am in bed with a cold I will feel his hand on my arm and that odd little movement he would do rubbing his thumb abesently over my arm as he held me when I was sick as a young girl when no one else cared but him.
Some days when I need his wisdom or his strength or just his belief in me when I doubt myself that same spot on my arm will feel that hot braised feeling of his calused thumb stroke and I cry, and I sob.
Not for what is lost but more for his love his life and that I know he still cares even though he is not here.
Don't judge your father for his tears today but realize that no matter how one appears to others. A parent does feel and they do greive just not always in front of others.
2006-09-25 18:35:34 · answer #2 · answered by Answerkeeper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry for the loss that your family has suffered. There is no set timing or boundary for grieving. Love your dad and let him move through the process himself and just let him know that you are there for him if your needed.
2006-09-25 18:41:09 · answer #3 · answered by Linda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not a question. Reported.
2006-09-25 18:21:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋