Here's the situation. We're both in our mid-30's. We've been dating a month. I accidentally suffocated him with text messages and nagged him. He joked about it but then I think it does irritate him a bit as he doesn't always respond now. I think he fears it will turn into a text-conversation. How do I fix this? I really, really like him. I'm supposed to see him on Friday. I think I should not contact him until he contacts me---even if it means waiting until Friday. But I have a fear (that I must get over) that if we don't have contact, he'll forget about me--yes, another issue I need to work on. I also nagged him a bit too much and asked him (at least 4 times) if he's interested in sleeping with me vs. dating. I think it's because I slept with him too early and am concerned about that. Can I still fix this? How?
2006-09-25 17:40:15 · 22 answers · asked by Jenny J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes you can still fix this.
If you give him too much room you will loose him.. Correct?
But if you don't give him a little room you could loose him. correct?
Work it out.. only text message him one time a day. and make it funny. Don't sent him a message telling him you love him.. Tell his a funny joke. make your messages fun.. don't expect a reply.
Then skip a day. He wil text you by the second day you miss if he is intrested. And the nagging is ok as well but don't over nag. Nag on the really high priorty things only.
I think he knows you like him so don't rub it in. Give him a little space. One thing that always made me want a woman more was when I wanted to see her she would say that she wanted to rest and make me wait till a few days later to see her. I would wonder if she had other prospects and had a date and was putting me off. But you better be at home because he will call you. One other thing that I liked was to get a phone call from a night club and she wanted me to come see her. That told me she was thinking about me and wanted me to come dance and maybe get lucky.
You know the game.. play it..
2006-09-25 17:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by Don K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, where do I start. Stop nagging!!! no man likes to be nagged about anything. Stop texting and learn to pick up th phone once in a while.
The issues: You have been dating for only a month and you already slept with him, wrong move. Much too early and you made yourself much to easy for him. Are you sure this was not just a BC (Booty Call) to him? Slow your role so that you can see just what this person really wants, you for a relationship or a weekly BC. If it is the latter, you have to ask yourself the question do you want to stay in something that may not go anywhere. Answer the question before you get hurt any more.
2006-09-26 00:51:31 · answer #2 · answered by fijisun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't call/text him any more!!!!
Honestly you need to give him some space and just wait to see him until Friday. If he contacts you then that's great, it means after all that texting drama he still likes you. If he doesn't then I would take it as a sign that he isn't interested. I know it sucks, but at least you will know and you can move on to something better. Don't be so hard on yourself! If he likes you he will come around. Promise. Just give him some space for the time being.
Don't ask him about the dating vs hooking up thing either. Just wait and see how he approaches you. If he actually wants to spend time with you he will, or if he just wants to hook up with you he will. I think you are old enough to tell the difference. Just be patient and time will tell you what this guy wants from you.
2006-09-26 00:47:45 · answer #3 · answered by D City 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for him to call you! You really have nothing to lose. If he contacts you, great...if not...so what ---move on and find someone better and don't start again with the texting crap. You're 30 years old for Pete Sake...act like it. When you act desperate you will only be hurt and used by everyone you come in contact with. Self respect, self esteem, self discipline. You are the one in control of these things. You are an adult and you are capable of having an adult relationship! Best wishes to you!
2006-09-26 00:47:41 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my GOD you sound like me!!
same thing I nag him and he doesn't respond, what I do is wait till he contacts me even though I wake up and the first thing I do is see if he called me. pathetic I know, but wait!!!
he needs to show interest in you as you are with him, if he sees that your really eager and knows your "in the bag," then he isn't going to show much interest. Men love the chase,and so what, you slept with him , no way you can forget about that or pretend it never happened, just wait, whats the worst that can happen he forget about you?? i know I feel the same, but he needs room to miss you and you don't give him that when your constantly texting him. so WAIT!!!!
2006-09-26 00:47:34 · answer #5 · answered by chula1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you're not out on a date, arrange for one period of time per day to talk/text with him and stick to that arrangement. IT can become something to look forward to rather than being a bother.
In terms of dating vs. sleeping with him, what are you wanting out of the relationship? Sex or someone to be with? And, contrariwise, what does he want? Misread expectations are one sure way to ruin a relationship. Frankly, my dear, I think you need to back off a little and give him room to breathe. He's already aware of how you feel and he should have the chance to answer you in his own time.
2006-09-26 00:45:46 · answer #6 · answered by eriurana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being so desperate. If he wants to contact you he will. Really liking someone doesn't give you the right to be "in their face" all the time. You'd better back off now or he will discontinue any contact with you at all. Let the man breathe for crying out loud.
2006-09-26 00:43:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One message a day whether it be by phone, email or text is all you need to do to let him know your thinking of him. When he answers and leaves questions for you to answer, you can respond within the day, otherwise just wait until the next day to contact him again.
Good Luck.
2006-09-26 00:43:50 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you probably make him feel uncomfortable when you ask him questions like that. dont ask him those kind of questions! i think instead of asking him questions you should just text him to say you love him. just say "hey i love you and im thinking of you" if he feels the same way he'll respond to it. if he doesnt then he probably just wants to be left alone. he might even be having second thoughts about being with you. lay off a little bit, let him come to you, if he doesnt then you know its because he doesnt want to.
2006-09-26 00:49:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
CHILL girl, let the MAN come to you...relax...you are overbearing...just for me to read what you wrote..and you are 30 yrs wow...hate to see when you were 15...you have a problem, you are scared to be left alone, and can't handle rejection, or abandonment...get help, this way you won't continue to go threw this all your life..you'll lose a lot of good people if you don't get help..good luck..
2006-09-26 00:47:29 · answer #10 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋