My ex of 7 years dumped me while he was in US. He shifted, changed his contact no’s and I was not informed about the breakup. Now, I’m happily engaged to a man who loves me dearly, and we’re in the midst of planning our wedding. But my ex has been contacting me frequently to say hi and its just casual chats. I can avoid him of course, but I believe avoiding him will not solve anything. My fiancée is aware of this situation but he’s cool abt it. Plz advice if being friend will allow me to forget what had happened in the past.
2006-09-25 16:55:38 · 22 answers · asked by Nanthini 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honestly I think that he did mess up and that it is good to forgive. However you are now happy I would recommend to leave it in the past. I mean I know your fiance is okay with it but it may start to get to him soon. You ma y not want to take the risk in having a future problems over someone that did not care what you felt when he hurt you. I went through almost the same thing and really not worth it. I think as long as you said what you had to say to him and him to you just keep living the life you have. Good luck!
2006-09-25 17:04:51 · answer #1 · answered by Lissette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first ever "real" girlfriend is now one of my best friends , and her husband too. I'm talking, we gave our virginity to each other, so theres always that special place in our hearts for the other. There is absolutely no reason you cant be great friends, as long as you both realize the sex thing is LLLOOOOOOONNGGG past, and that's all you will ever be again, friends. Her kids are cool with me too and love whenever i drop by(I take em out to movies and ice cream so R and T can have some alone time)So, if you want to pursue a friendship with him, I see nothing wrong. The only thing you better watch are , does he have ulterior motives? Does he still hold a torch for you and is hoping to get you back? You better make your agenda plain to him before you go towards friendship again.
2006-09-26 00:10:19 · answer #2 · answered by Taz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel about this.
Being friends with an ex is ok. But you have to make sure that they know that there is no chance for them to get back with you in a romantic relationship.
If it was awhile before he contacted you again, there must be some loose ends that he might want to tie up. Since you were unaware about the breakup, maybe he wants to talk to you about it to make sure you know what was going through his head and why he did what he did.
I had a similar problem with my ex. Like you I told my b/f about it, and he is fine with it. I even decided to go to lunch with my ex to just catch up. He knows there isnt another chance and that we can be friends. He is fine with that and hasnt made any advances.
2006-09-26 00:02:15 · answer #3 · answered by carli k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he doesn't want to be your friend. He knows you are taken but is playing with you...don't fall for it. He's a little manipulator and has already proved it. Tell him you are taken and there is no need for him to contact you...you have friends. .I had a friend who's ex did just this and he was an alcoholic who cheated on her an then when she was about to marry he pulled the same stunt. That's what it is ...a stunt. He's testing the waters.
2006-09-26 00:54:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
after a break up the only reason you stay friend is beacuse you still have feelings for the person and you want to get back with them even if you dont think you do. i would just stay away from him if you are happy with the new guy because even if he says he is ok with it ill bet deep down it would bother him a lot.
2006-09-26 00:18:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its a wise decision. I would tell your ex that you are in a happy healthy relationship now and your trying to plan your wedding. Could he please step back and not call you for a wile maybe tell him you guys can be friends but he needs to let you do the calling.
2006-09-26 00:01:54 · answer #6 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out if he is trying to get back together. If so,
you should tell him that you can't do that, as you're engaged, etc.
and that he is making you uncomfortable.
If he really does want to be friends, then great, but you have
every reason to be suspicious. As a friend, he should be OK
doing things with you and your fiance, and perhaps he can
bring along his own date...
2006-09-26 00:00:07 · answer #7 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that after seven years together that being friends really good friends is out of the question,it sounds like your ex is intrested in getting back together.
2006-09-25 23:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by movin12006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't try talking to him again. If your happy with someone else, he probably got wind of it and is trying to get you back, one of my friends is going through this with a guy she dated for 6 years, and she moved out got her own place,then he started saying he still wanted to be friends withher, well she found someone new then her and her ex started talkin again and he kept sayin i want to you to move back in and all this. He kept sayin he wanted to get back together with him, then when she went to talk to him the other day, he said he didn't want to be with her after she got rid of this other guy for him and everything, she is heartbroken, I feel so bad for her.
2006-09-25 23:59:53 · answer #9 · answered by Kit Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not try to just be friend.. Sounds like he might be trying to move back in and if you are getting married that that would be a bad situation.
2006-09-25 23:59:46 · answer #10 · answered by cindy ccc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋