I have been with my boyfriend now for almost 7 months. I notice that we do argue and fight a lot. Not bad, but it is enough. Is that healthy? I do know that we are just in love with each other. What do you think, and how long have you been with your partner and is it like this?
2006-09-25 16:44:09 · 32 answers · asked by ♫~Princess~♫ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we've been together for almost 5 years (not yet married, though). we have our ups and downs but there are three rules that we silently follow when we have a misunderstanding:
1) never go to bed angry at each other. aside from avoiding nightmares, we don't want to take the chance of not being able to say sorry while the other one can still hear it. perhaps we're just paranoid but we always think the "what if it's our last moment together?" thing. that makes us NOT to take each other for granted.
2) do not let go of each other's hands. this way, we don't have a choice but to resolve the conflict immediately. then, we'll be laughing at ourselves afterwards.
3) always say "i love you" even if we're upset at each other. i don't know, perhaps we just wanted to remind ourselves that even if we're seeing the worst of each other, our love will still stay the same.
i know, it's mushy and cheesy but oh, well... that's mainly love!
2006-09-25 16:52:47 · answer #1 · answered by jedi_rei 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I've been with my bf for 4 1/2 years...I've been dating him since I was 17...I'm 21 now and he's 20. The first solid year...no arguments whatsoever...and after I went to college, the fights started coming. We broke up a few days before Christmas and got back together at the end of summer. We been together ever since...and since then, there have been some close calls of calling it quits once more.
I've realized that it's healthy to argue and stand your ground on some issues, but look at the situation in the third person point of view before becoming more upset and really ask yourself, is this really worth the arguing and fighting?
Every couple has their good times and their bad, but when the bad times outweigh the good, it's time to reevaluate why you're with the person you're with.
In the years that I've been with my bf, It took me 6 months into our relationship to understand what being in love feels like, cuz being in love and loving someone are different things.
2006-09-25 17:01:58 · answer #2 · answered by asiantomato84 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my husband 17 years, we do argue on occasion, I don't know any couples that don't. What we have learned is that if you can communicate with each other and really listen to what the other person is saying, even if you don't agree, there is a lot less fights and a greater respect between you.
Fighting is a part of getting to know each other (when I say fight I mean argue, never let someone hit you in anger) and your differences, and just like anything worth your time, you must learn from those arguments and things should get a lot better with time.
2006-09-25 16:54:15 · answer #3 · answered by Joy 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my BF for 2 1/2 years and we argue a lot BUT we make up just as much. I think that arguing is okay as long as you know how to reconcile and see each others points of view sometimes. It is not okay to do in front of people because it is unfair to them and makes them uncomfortable and it is not okay if that is ALL you do.
Just keep in mind that if you dont ever apoligize or admit your wrong sometimes then your partner may give up trying and that sucks!
2006-09-25 16:48:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my husband for a little over a year. Yes, to discuss, and sometimes argue, is normal. Learning how to communicate with each other is one of the hardest things in a relationship. If there is on abuse, physical or emotional involved in the arguments, then I would say it is normal. Maybe you guys are just spending too much time together, or you need a little break. I am not saying break up, I am saying give each other some breathing space. Sometimes when two people are together too much, they argue more, because they get on eachother's nerves.
Good Luck!
Dee
2006-09-25 16:48:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ive been with my boyfriend now for a year and a half and we get along really great. But the guy I dated before him I was with for 6 yrs. and we started fighting really bad after the first year we were together. And that lasted another 5 years. I think it just depends on who your compatible with. Maybe you need to figure out if the good times in yoiur relationship out weigh the bad and if they do then just figure out how to get along better with him. Otherwise then maybe you should find another partner. Good Luck
2006-09-25 16:57:30 · answer #6 · answered by flutterby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my man for 3 years now, and we've fought since month 4. Most of the time it's stupid stuff, and a few blowouts here and there. I think it's normal as long as you don't have blowouts every 3 weeks. Bottom line, highs and lows in my relationship, it's overall pretty well. You can't expect a fairy tale ending, but the second he puts his hands on you, respect is gone and so should be the relationship.
2006-09-25 16:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Fighting is never fun... I have been with my husband for almost 7 and half years now, four and half of them married... We had had our share of fighting in many different ways; silent treatments, resentments, foul languge, international sign language, shouting, and door banging kinda stuff, but we are still together. He loves me and I love him. To what point does it get unhealthy? It depends on the relationship and the way you want to be treated... Love conquers it all, but sometimes too much fighting and hurt feelings get in the way and form resentments that one cannot just forgive and forget. The most important thing is to remember to love yourself and be honest with yourself. If you are unhappy, you need to do something to make yourself happy again. If you have true love between you two you will work out your differences and set rules for your relationships and open up avenues to talk about things, not just keep them inside and then all of the sudden explode at each other. Communication is a major part of intimacy and combined with trust in one another it will make a strong bond between lovers. I wish all the best for you in your relationship:)
2006-09-25 16:58:01 · answer #8 · answered by girl_with_horns79 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have been married for 4 years next month ( I'm 24) and we have our share of good days and bad. But for the most part good. We love each other very much and i hope we will always be together till God calls us home!
2006-09-25 16:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by lovepink24 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Been with my husband 10 years. We've maybe had 3-4 fights and none of them lasted more than a few hours. We're getting on great, and our anniversary is next month :)
2006-09-25 16:46:53 · answer #10 · answered by lillith6662000 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋