Im a 16 year old and Im having a problem with my parent?

Question

Im a 16 year old and Im having a problem with my parent?
I need help, I found out that my dad was watching porn . And the thing is he keeps blaming me and My sister for all the viruses on the computer and my mom is buying it, We havent said anything b/c were afraid to ruin my parents relationship (b/c to me thats cheating). but anyways, now its getting to the point where hes lying to everyone and it really hurts, should I say something to my mom or just keep it quiet. Help

The thing is I know she doesnt know

Answer 1

You do have a serious problem, What your dad is doing is WRONG and it's kinda putting you and your sister in the middle of it..Your dad shouldn't be putting the blame on you two for the viruses and him lying to keep himself in the clear is absolutely wrong..The thing is IF now I'm saying IF you were to tell your mom about the porn do you even think she would believe it or would she think you and your sister is lying and trying to start trouble..Before you tell your mom if that's what you decide to do then can you prove it..This has got to be so hard on you, I couldn't imagine putting my child through that much worry, I really don't know what to tell you to do..By keeping quiet things could only get worse unless your dad stops..IF I were in your shoes and I knew my mom would believe me I'd probably tell her but tell her not to say you said anything that she needs to be the one to catch him watching the porn..I wish you all the luck and hope things work out without you having to put you and your sister in the middle of it..Maybe ask a relative like a grandma that you can trust to get their opinion on what to do..

Answer 2

I understand that this is a difficult and crucial time for you right now. You feel a sense of betrayal, discust, fear that is completely overwhelming you right now. Just to let you know, this is a common situation. This probably doesn't make you feel much better, and might even cause you to feel more discust towards men, but before you decide on where you stand let me add a little insight on men...When a husband/father watches images of a pornographic nature, it is usually a sign of feeling distant from the people around him, low self-esteem, inability to express his deepest emotions to his spouse and family, feeling unappreciated as a father, having unresolved emotional damage from his childhood. Do not despair. You should ask your mother if the two of you can go somewhere to be by yourselves. Then tell your mother everything, including how this made you feel. Your mother may or may not say that she already knew about this problem. Either way, ask your mom from the depths of your heart to try to get her and your father to go to counseling together. In this setting, they can express the needs, hurts, and desires that they both individually have and how they build their marriage stronger. Even if it is hard, know that you are not alone in this. It is important that this not be kept a secret, because this is definately a cry for help from your father.

Answer 3

See if you can contact a counsellor at school. They will keep it confidential and help you come up with specific ways to solve the problem. Unlike us, that person would be able to find out a lot about your particular situation and give you the best advice that will have the best chance at a good outcome. Be careful of the advice you get here on yahoo answers since nobody knows the whole, real story.

This is a difficult probelm with lots of pitfalls that could cause a bad outcome. Getting an adult that you trust and who really knows about this stuff to give you advice is the best method.

Answer 4

Talk to your father honestly about it. Let him decide whether he wants to tell the truth to your mom. Whatever he decides, however, he has to stop blaming the viruses on you and your sister. If he doesn't agree to stop blaming you and your sister, then tell him that you will have no choice but to tell the truth to your mom. Be prepared to keep quiet about his porn sites visits, if he agrees.
Enlist the cooperation of your sister. However, before you go ahead, ensure that neither you nor your sister were the cause of the virus attacks, otherwise, your case will become weaker!

Answer 5

Don't rat your dad out, and for all you know, mom is looking at it with dad. If your close with your dad than talk to him about. If your not close with him, than talk to a counselor at school or other adult that you can trust. If you rat dad out, it's just going to cause problems at home and you don't need that. Life is confusing enough at 16, you don't need to add to it. The holidays are comming up and I'm sure you'll have a b-day within the next year, so ask for your own computer, if you get it, dad will have to stop because he can't blame it on you. Pass word your start up so he can't use your computer with out you knowing.

Answer 6

I hope you don't become upset by this but....there is a strong possibility that you Mother is aware of what your Father has been doing, and she will in fact believe you if you said something. Women are known for having intuition or a "sixth sense." And we generally "know" when something is not right especially when it comes to our husband and children. If you mention it directly to your Mother you will most likely place her in a unique situation; by this I mean you may be forcing her to deal with a particularly uncomfortable situation that she may not be able to handle emotionally right now. It would also mean confronting your Father more so because you expected her to do something about it. Your mother is an adult, and trust me she can handle the situation although it may not be in your timing. If you are a Christian---I would strongly suggest you pray about it before confronting your mother. God has a better way to get her and your Father's attention.

Answer 7

Definitely talk to your mom. Chances are she already knows he watches porn. But she may not know that porn causes major viruses on computers. If he's viewing porn on your computer then that's where the viruses are coming from. Talk to your mom, that's the best thing to do! In fact, I would talk to both of them together.

Answer 8

You need to tell ur mom. If you don't tell her u will regret it later. Its understandable that u don't want to cause problems in ur family, but getting things out in the open is always a good thing. you shouldn't keep something like this to yourself. Its not only bad for ur family, but even u can get sick because of all the worrying

Answer 9

I'd say something, especially if he's blaming it on you. I'd also get a really good virus protecter. McAfee seems to work perfect for me. My father just got something called spyware doctor that works great on getting rid of things on the computer. There's also a free one called Windows Defender that works very very well for windows users. But yes, I would tell your mom whats been going on.

Answer 10

Pornography can be addictive and it sounds like your Dad might have a problem. You might want to check out some sites on pornography addiction to get some tips or maybe you can email your dad links to sites such as the one below.

http://www.livingwithoutporn.com/

If you are not comfortable with this you should get your mom involved and let her confront him on it. Addiction of any kind can ruin a family. Good luck.