Here's the situation:
I'm a medical student who was assigned to a preceptor for the last 3 years. I just finished a 2 month rotation with this preceptor, and absolutely loved the entire experience. I wanted to show my appreciation, so without really thinking it out, I wrote a thank you card and gave my preceptor a vase as a gift when I said my goodbyes.
However, after talking to other med students, I found out that cards and gifts are not typically given, and people might think that the gift-giver has an ulterior motive and is a kiss-up.
I don't want to be a suck-up! All I wanted to do was show my thanks. But I already gave my gift... So how do I gracefully get myself out of this mess? Please don't say the damage is irrepairable....
2006-09-25 16:25:08 · 16 answers · asked by m_cantabile 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
As a professor/instructor, I found it a bit strange when a student gave me gift. I accepted it graciously and thanked him. Having said that, it did not at all change the way I graded the student.
I would advise not saying anything. What's done is done.
The next time you feel the inclination, just thank the instructor and tell him/her that you learned a lot through the class. Whenever a student said that he/she got a lot out of the class, it made more of an impression on me than the gifts. ;)
2006-09-25 16:37:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here's some points for your consideration:
You felt showing your appreciation was the right thing to do.
Good for you!! Too bad there's not more people like you.
A little something I learned from my older brother years ago;
"Opinions are like Assholes, everybody has one."
Why are you thinking you're a suck-up?
Is it because you have feelings enough to demonstrate kindness to other people?
If so, please do some attitude adjustment for yourself so that you may continue growing as a caring human being.
Answer yourself these questions. What is the mess? What is irrepairable?
What you did was an act of kindness towards another person. There's no "mess" as you say; there is no irrepairable damage.
Just think how much better the world would be if there were more people like yourself.
2006-09-25 16:57:32 · answer #2 · answered by Living In Korea 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok... so you gave your preceptor a gift. It's not like you slipped them an envelope of money by midnight, under the full moon.
I think that if your intentions were good, and you were genuinely appreciative of your preceptor when you gave them the gift, you should relax. You had sincere motives! Try to rely on your own reputation in this: certainly the people who know you will realize that you're not trying to suck-up.
2006-09-25 16:48:23 · answer #3 · answered by Tanuki Girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You finished, you said thank you in style and the only thing that was "wrong" was the opinion of a third party.
You are only a suck up if you had given a gift during the session - possibly in hopes of eaier time or better grade or review. Since you've finished, it was an acceptable gesture of time spent with you.
Well done!
2006-09-25 16:35:32 · answer #4 · answered by north79004487 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the damage is irrepairable...if you are really concerned just contact the preceptor and have a little talk about what you just said here...
2006-09-25 16:28:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were truly sincere in your note then leave it at that. Don't ask for special favors from the person. A "suck-up" is one who gives gifts in expectation of something in return. You said thank you. I promise you it was appreciated. Many students never take the time to say thanks. You did no damage. If your motives were truly to give thanks...you did it. End of story. Stop worrying about it!!
2006-09-25 16:30:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what everyone else thinks.
You were expressing gratitude in a traditional way by saying "Hey! Thanks!"
The last thing I would be thinking about is what everyone else might be saying about my thank you card/gift.
2006-09-25 16:31:32 · answer #7 · answered by apinkfreak 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
But if you gave it at the end of your time with that teacher than how can it be sucking up? Also if you gave it when no one was around how will others think you are sucking up when they don't know about it?
2006-09-25 16:29:28 · answer #8 · answered by PrincessB 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you should worry about this. You did the right thing. I for one believe that a thank you is wonderful when you have truly been appreciative. Keep this up as there are not many that are this way.
2006-09-25 16:29:37 · answer #9 · answered by Windwispers 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I don't think you should worry at all. It's just your way of expressing thanks and gratitude. Why care what other people think? However, if you REALLY are worried about what they think, you could accompany your card with a simple thank-you instead of a gift. =]
2006-09-25 17:10:27 · answer #10 · answered by angela 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋