how can i ask my boyfriend to get tested for stds and hiv before i have sex with him?

Question

i have asked him casualy before and he just kind of laughs and says why do you think im a dirty person?...how can i tell him that i seriously want him to get tested without offending him

Answer 1

Just say you want him to get tested, before you have sex with him, or you feel he really doesn't care about you enough and your feeling to do it. Explain to him that there are std's that show little to no symptoms like herpes, chlamydia, gnorrhea. It doesn't make him dirty to go get tested for std's, it should be routine. You can have sex with one person and get an std. It makes me angry that people think just because you have an std your dirty...we all have sex eventually and it's always a risk no matter if it's 1, 2, or 30 people. If he won't get tested then he really doesn't care. You could word it that you care about him and know he's had sex with other people and want to make sure he's ok for his health and yours.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

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Answer 4

Tell him, sweetly, that you're serious. In fact, you could make a "date" of it, both get tested then go for dinner or a movie afterward. It has nothing to do with him being "dirty," but the reality is you've both been sexually active and it's to protect you both. Tell him, jokingly, that it's the hussies before you that you're worried about. Frankly, he should be pleased that you'd be willing to get tested as well.

If he refuses, then you need to decide if he's someone you want to be involved with. I don't think you're asking too much.

Answer 5

It's not about whether he's been around the block in a taxi, you're concerned about your own health. Asking him to get tested for STDs and HIV should not be offensive to him; you're telling him that you love him enough to worry after his health. If he doesn't understand that, then maybe he's not the guy for you.

Answer 6

Your health is very important. It would be better not to sleep with him at all, but if you must, demand that he get tested. DO NOT sleep with him until he gets tested and shows you proof that he tested negative. Go with him if it will make you feel better. Don't give in on this. Your life is way more important than sex. Screw offending him. Would you rather be dying in a few months?

Answer 7

I think sites like Planned Parenthood and other sexual health organizations list diplomatic ways to ask this question.

You can also suggest going together. (You don't mind getting tested, do you? :) Then it can be more of an "equal" thing instead of the potentially judgmental thing that your boyfriend might be feeling about your request.

Oh, and after the tests, you'll be using condoms, right?

Answer 8

I wouldn't worry about it too much. The moment he figures out that you're serious about not giving it up until he DOES get the test, he'll make that appointment. If he doesn't, well, then he just isn't worth it because it shows what you really mean to him.

Answer 9

Tell him like this..."Hey go get tested for std's and hiv."

Answer 10

You may consider that for the good of your health.If he doesn't understand you, he's definatly the wrong guy for you. But I think that you should just go to the sex part and skip the other part. just to let you know, start out with just kissing not concidered sex and then go to the take shirt off and pants off but bra and underwear still on, and your last step is to have naked sex, here are good places to have naked sex:
shower
in a car
on a table
in the bathtub
to the public
in a large empty feild of green grass
in a school mens bathroom or girls bathroom(best not seen by a student and you should let yourself go completly naked and don't be a baby so let your man lick your nipples and suck on it like a baby. It will taste bad, but if you want to, you can both lick each others pee spot. But if you do, you may become pregnant.)