We got in a fight tonight because I said he looked fat in the shirt he was wearing, so he said "Well at least I don't look like a transvestite all the time."
:( Should I dump him?
2006-09-25 13:57:00 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we've been dating for 2 weeks.
i thought being with him would be different. he's 47 (i'm 19) and i thought he would be a more mature and respectful older man.
he acts just as childish as my 24 year old ex boyfriend!
HE JUST SENT ME A TEXT MESSAGE SAYING THIS:
"ur a tranny"
:( :( :(
2006-09-25 14:02:18 · update #1
Don't dump him, but definitely let him know it's not cool to talk to you like that. If it continues despite that, then it's time to do some dumping.
2006-09-25 13:59:01 · answer #1 · answered by Deleted 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay, you've traded insults. You saying he looks fat has hurt his ego and now he's returning the 'favour'.
Two weeks into a relationship, this isn't a good sign at all. It appears that neither one of you has learned the fine art of making suggestions about each other's appearance.
In other words, you could have said 'That shirt really doesn't suit you because it doesn't show you off in your best light. It's too tight/the colour is wrong/ etc. It makes you look larger than you really are.' Or something along those lines. Result? The man changes his shirt, you guys go out for the night, he's pleased you care enough that he looks good, you're relieved he doesn't look fat.
As for his comment about you looking like a tranny, well, what is he doing dating you if he thinks that anyway? Calling you one is pretty low, even if you have said he looks fat. Of the two, the tranny comment is really the most hurtful, because he is attacking your femininity. That is not a good sign at all.
I have a feeling that the relationship is over anyway..... It doesn't matter what age a person is, an insult is still an insult, and most people will react. You haven't been with him long enough for there to be a history between you that would ride this spat out.
Do you really want to continue with this man after he's texted you something like that? I think not.
2006-09-25 17:48:13 · answer #2 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him! You don't need that type of abuse after 2 weeks from anyone. If this is how he behaves now think of what he will be like in a year. I didn't say anything bad to my girlfriend for the first six months and even now I wouldn't say anything that nasty to her. You can say things which are wrong in the heat of the moment but always apologise and make amends or there is no point. Find yourself a nice guy (and remember that age doesn't necessarily make for maturity).
2006-09-25 15:46:27 · answer #3 · answered by SR13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well is he just messing with you knowing that hes annoying you or is he serious!!?
Lads can go for miles on finding something to annoy us!
Why dont you just reply back to his text saying something to the effect of "Well im Im a tranny it doesnt say much for you - you're dating me" - that might stop him !
HAving said all that YOU insulted him first by calling him fat in the shirt - I think you two need to have a mature chat - at 47 hes kinda being over the top immature over things.
2006-09-25 21:54:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, why would you dump him over something as silly as that? Unless of course your not happy with him at all. Be serious and think if this guy is the right guy for you and you for him. I mean do you have a good time with him when your not fighting? Maybe, there is some underlying desire to break up with him and fighting is just a way of getting out. So think seriously about it before you do anything drastic. Good Luck!
2006-09-25 14:01:19 · answer #5 · answered by dabesgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH GOD YES !! (well, if he meant it as a joke then NO ) ! but hell, why would he even make a joke like that? Hun, don't let him disrespect you like that - dump him and keep it moving ' The last thing you need is person telling you negative things. Bad enough there are commercials on TV constantly telling women they need to look a certain way or they need improvement. When was the last time you saw a TV commercial that applauded natural beauty?
2006-09-25 14:02:05 · answer #6 · answered by Sasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a Muppet the guy needs to learn respect! And seriously needs to grow up! Ask yourself this question hun why is he in his 40's and single?! Sounds to me like he has been a playboy all his life and is not willing to settle and grow old! I say get your sexy *** out there on the town and find some guy who will love you and treat you with the respect you deserve!
Ps. Dress how you want! Live life how you want! And don't let any one or any guy drag you down!! Your young get out there and shake ya bootie! lol :-) Hope this helps x x x
2006-09-25 14:38:29 · answer #7 · answered by Glitterstar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe for you. i'm going to be honest even yet it ought to be difficult to hearken to it. he isn't being honest. he's in all probability embarrassed for his mystery perversion. Many adult males are into transvestites and if he's finding at those relationship sites, he's finding for a transvestite to have intercourse with. It sounds like it is better than a interest Its difficult once you adore somebody and additionally you hit upon something like this out. in case you're taking this relationship any further you will possibly be putting your self in threat for sexually transmitted illnesses and extra heartbreak. i understand its elementary for an intruder to assert this--while they at the instant are not in the area. All i will assert is faux it somewhat is taking place to a chum. What might you assert to them? sending useful vibes your way. :-) Its difficult to stroll removed from somebody you adore, however the foundation of a sturdy relationship is honesty, and additionally you deserve somebody who incredibly needs you.
2016-12-15 14:20:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like he was lashing out because he was hurt by what you said . There are alot nicer ways to say things but you both need to apologize. After that tell him if he doesn't like the way you dress he can take you shopping and buy you some clothes he likes. People say I need to dress more like a girl and told my ex alot of s**t about me and the way I looked. Instead of insulting me he suggested we go shopping and buy some new clothes, girly clothes.
2006-09-25 14:31:47 · answer #9 · answered by lil sis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on the quality of your relationship. If it is full of insults with the intent to hurt. The love is gone. If his vanity was hurt because you told him honestly how he looked in that shirt. Or Do you dress too flashy and wear alot of make up? These are things to consider before you make your decision
2006-09-25 14:02:45 · answer #10 · answered by twoshotjudy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Secretly wanting you to play dress up with him and cannot ask you? :) Maybe testing the waters, see what your reaction is...he'll deny it though initially...but just you try... LOL...
Play the game right...You have to take away the responsibility, it has to be your idea, not his to make it allowed...
"Well at least I don't look like a transvestite all the time."
Try saying, "It can be arranged!".
Love to know what the reaction is...
2006-09-25 14:37:51 · answer #11 · answered by The Mole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋