should you Not tell a new guy about your previous experience? Anotherwords, would it make you appear as a weak person or as someone with 'problems'? Overall, is it better to keep this to yourself. I don't want anyone's pity, but I don't know if that's important to the other person in order to understand me.
2006-09-25 13:51:42 · 13 answers · asked by Venus 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no tell him it's important, just because one relationship was bad doesn't mean this will. honesty is the best policy.
2006-09-25 13:53:40 · answer #1 · answered by bryanocarr 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think if someone really loves u then the first thing they would feel is love and protection for u when they heard this, or even anger at the other person. i know thats how i feel whenever i hear about anyone being in an abusive relationship. if someone cares for u, they will want to know and understand all of u, not just the sunny parts, but the darker parts. if ur with a good person, telling them should make u draw clossure to them, not farther away
*hugs* i hope this helps ⥠~len
2006-09-25 20:57:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would let the relationship develop before springing this information on someone new. I'm not saying that you should hide the fact, or that it's something to be ashamed of. I'm only suggesting that trust and comfort levels develop over time. Make sure you're at this place in your new relationship before bringing it up. As you grow to learn more about each other, there will be an ideal opportunity to raise this issue. Give him a chance to get to know you better first.
2006-09-25 20:56:36 · answer #3 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've been in this position before and I think if they are asking you about yourself and they want to know how your life has been then I think it's important for you to tell them. They'll see you as being strong for facing your past. You should be able to tell your story and not be ashamed. Most of the time it's some weak individual with low self esteem getting a rise out of you cause they don't know how to deal with them self.
2006-09-25 20:57:59 · answer #4 · answered by MommaMia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, some men are sympathetic and will not dish out pity, some men laugh and some men just get angry at their peers. It is better to keep it quiet - just until things get serious and stable and you are comfortable talking to him about past relationships. Don't put everything out in the open just yet. When the time comes- you won't have to ask strangers like me whether you should do it or not. You will feel totally comfortable telling him.
2006-09-25 20:57:41 · answer #5 · answered by Sasha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be something you might discuss or inform him of as your relationship progresses. You shouldn't feel that you NEED to tell him on your first date, or your at your first encounter, unless he specifically inquires about what happened in this prior relationship. I would think you might feel a little sensitive about this information and your vulnerability to a similar situation. With that in mind, do you feel strong enough and aware enough not to fall into another relationship like that again? Have you identified the issues that allowed you to be in an abusive relationship and resolved them?
I sincerely hope so, and wish you all the best.
2006-09-25 21:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by nighthawk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not like to admit it, but you are somewhat damaged from that abusive relationship and your new guy needs to know. To be honest, he might wonder if you seek out those kinds of relationships, so you should clarify that's the only abusive relationship you've been in and you don't want a repeat.
2006-09-25 20:54:29 · answer #7 · answered by live2ride 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard to trust or love someone else after you have been hurt before, but don't let that stop you from having a normal and healthy relationship with someone new espeacially if he is good to you, you shouldn't have a reason to make him pay for another mans mistakes, don't be bitter from what you went through but learn from your experiance and use it to your advantage. you should let yourself be loved you deserve it, but give yourself a chance to heal.
2006-09-25 21:17:14 · answer #8 · answered by thugangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's important. You don't have to tell him for the first few dates, but if it gets serious, you must tell him. You're not weak. you are strong because you got out! This will be a chance for him to see your strength, not weakness.
2006-09-25 20:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by booktender 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are about honesty. It goes to the core of a solid relationship. If you don't tell him, you are not being honest.
2006-09-25 20:54:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋