My partner has a great career, a wonderful home and a happy relationship with a considerate guy who has made him really happy over the years. However of late he has stated that he wants to integrate more with society and talks about being 'normal' and wanting to date women. His mother and I have said that he should accept what he is and should not turn his back on his great relationship, but he does not seem to want to listen to us. What do you think we should do?
2006-09-25 13:19:33 · 23 answers · asked by albert_rossie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think you should do what all good parents do, support your son in his decision even if you think it's wrong and be there to support him if it goes wrong, without saying I told you so.
Children grow up and become adults, so as parents we are no longer required to make decisions for them. Just as we wanted them to take their first steps, they have now become independent of us and now also need to make their own mistakes, for which we as parents will always be there with open arms to comfort them, if and when it goes wrong.
2006-09-25 22:20:19 · answer #1 · answered by Sweetcakes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children need to make thier own mistakes especailly in relationships.
Give advice then step back and add you will support him no matter what he chooses.
Then be there when things go bad or things go well. He may decide and be lucky enough to find a woman who is ready for a bi-sexual man and can accept the risks and love him anyway. He may decide society choosing his love and relationship is overrated only time will tell.
If you interfer too much you risk pushing him away. Advise offer support and love then let them travel the roads they choose alone but be ready to hop in the car if they get lost or break down. It is all a parent can ever do.
2006-09-25 20:24:38 · answer #2 · answered by Answerkeeper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently your son is not totally happy or fulfilled in this relationship. You do need to get out of his way and let him find his own way. I know you want the best for him but , the best is not always what we as parents think it is. You really should be supporting your son and not talking behind his back with his partner. Support your son and I wish you both well in the future
2006-09-25 20:28:29 · answer #3 · answered by lajefa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's hard being a parent. I know you must be feeling awful because we embrace our childrens partners and bring them into our families, we come to love them and it hurts us when we see breakdowns in the relationships. The only thing we can do is stand by and watch, once we have 'said' our bit there is little else we could or should do. We bring our kids up to be independent and to make their own decisions in life, then we find it difficult to accept their decisions. Mistakes are made by us all, we have chances in life to put them right or we can choose to live a lie, you can wait on the sidelines here, for when your son needs support, allow him to find his own way in life, he'll stumble like you and I have done, but he will survive, just be there when he needs you.
2006-09-26 04:09:01 · answer #4 · answered by pottydotty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already given him good guidance. However, secretly I would be wanting him to sort out this confusion about what 'normal' means to him and if that means straight instead of gay then he needs to have the freedom to discover the truth about himself. No one should live a lie. I think you should encourage him to have some time alone to soul search and if that means taking a break from his relationship, then so be it.
2006-09-25 20:31:53 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like hes in the middle of crisis of some sort, I think the best thing to do is to just be there for him and let him make his own mistakes, you will only end up been blamed for interfering in the end up.
2006-09-25 20:28:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your opinion and back off. If he makes a mistake he will blame himself. If he makes a mistake taking your advise he will blame you. And you dont need to be feeling guilty for leading him wrong, if you are wrong. You are not always going to be around to live his life for him. Let him practice standing on his own so he will be ready when there is no one around to hold his hand. Tough but good parenting.
2006-09-25 20:34:22 · answer #7 · answered by RM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in most separations it isn't just that one party has seen potentially greener grass on the other side, its usually 'cos things are less than perfect or have reached a natural end whether they are.
have u2 talked about kids?
being hetro myself, i find women have quite a pull & i'd understand a man in his position well...
2006-09-25 20:44:57 · answer #8 · answered by Can I Be Your Pet? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him be, it appears to me that your son is an adult and if he wants to date women that is what he wants to do. It appears to me that you are trying to control his life and that is not good. Let him be, let he do what he wants to do. Maybe he wants to be with women now, that is his choice and you need to accept him for that. You need to support him no matter what, so give him your love and best wishes and let him do what he wants to do.
2006-09-25 20:20:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him do what he want,s, if he makes a mistake just be there 4 him. you never know, he may realise the grass isn,t always greener on the other side, good luck 2 you all.
2006-09-25 20:24:28 · answer #10 · answered by jo w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋