What are the pros and cons of not having kids?

Question

I'm a woman in my early 20s, and my husband and I are not sure if we want to have children. We wouldn't want to have kids for at least 5 years anyway, so it's not a matter of just not wanting kids because we are young. What are the pros and cons of having a childfree life in ALL stages of life?

If you are childfree by choice, please answer. I would like your perspective. No offense, but those of you with children could have a hard time considering the pros of a childfree life.

Answer 1

My husband and I are in a similar situation. We want to wait until we've bought a house before thinking about having children (still about 5 years away), and right now we are debating whether or not to have them. It's a totally personal decision, so don't base your decision on our thoughts, but I hope this helps.

Pros of not having children:
1. Costs less to be childless
2. Don't have to worry about raising a kid in this screwed up world
3. Don't have to worry you'll "screw them up"
4. Your marriage will mostly be as it is right now (kids change everything)
5. You're free to do what you want, when you want
6. You don't pass on your bad genes

Cons of not having children:
1. Your parents will most likely be disappointed
2. There is a small window of opportunity, so you may regret the decision when it is too late
3. You pass up on the chance to raise a good, upstanding and productive member of society in this screwed up world
4. You don't pass on your good genes

Answer 2

I'm childfree. I'll answer your question.

PROs

I don't like kids so no kids yes!!!
I don't need to worry about 'the kids' when I want to worry about my own education and career
I have plans to travel through Europe and South America, I couldn't do that with young children. I'm living China right now, another no no for young children
The world is over populated already and having my own kids wouldn't help.
I can always adopt if I feel the need.


Cons?

Are there any? Really? I don't think so. Some people say oh who will take care of you when your old well, with all the money I'll be saving without having kids I'll be able to pay for my own care! It's sort of selfish to have your own kids anyways with all those unwanted and poor children all over the world.

Answer 3

pros of a childfree life: you have freedom, you can spend all your money on yourself, you never have to stop working, you don't have to endure a pregnancy and the subsequent getting back into shape. cons of a childfree life: it will always be just you and your husband. alone in a quiet, childfree house. forever. you will never know the depth of love that you feel when you hold your own child. you will miss out on the happiness of watching this tiny little helpless infant grow into a wonderful person that you had a hand in raising. seeing the wonderful progress they make with a first step, first smile, the joy you feel when you hear a little person say "i love you mommy". however, it's not for everyone. it is very , very expensive (i have three) and the responsibility of raising a child and being a parent lasts for at least 18 years....some would say it lasts a lifetime. you have time to decide, but do it before you hit 30 since you chance of having a baby with some kind of mental or physical defect increases dramatically after that. good luck.

Answer 4

The pro's are amazing I'm sure i dont have any kids yet but we do want two children when we get ready! I do think you should be financially prepared for children and mentally too! : )
there are no cons if you are ready if you have them young i know there could be cons you cant grow up you cant enjoy your own childhood a baby having a baby many things like not being able to feed them b4 they went to bed or not being able to feed them at all.... But kids are great and a blessing!

Answer 5

Well, I probably have a pretty unique view- I'm 30, married, and childless- but not by choice. I am unable to have children.

I see my friends with kids, see the limits the kids impose on them, and I look at my life (kid-free)....

Babies, toddlers, kids etc do impose a LOT of limits on your life- parents have nowhere near the free time or "disposable" income that non-parents have. Their sleep-time is pretty hashed- bad dreams, baby wakes up and needs a bottle/fresh diaper, teenager FINALLY gets home from date..... Me-time is nearly non-existant as well- kids can be pretty demanding.

At the same time, parents have an unparallelled opportunity to teach and shape a young person. They finally realize how their parents felt. I heard one mother explain it as "having my heart outside my body." They get to know what selfless love is- both giving and receiving. These opportunities and experiences are a lot harder for non-parents to experience.

Answer 6

Pros: You get more time to yourself
You have more time with your husband and kids wont ruin everything
It costs less, you can spend money on yourself AND you wont need to worry about not having enough money with children
You could be carefree
You wont have times when the children really annoy you
You wont experience pain when having the child..

Cons: Even though if can be stressful sometimes to have a child, you will miss all the opportunities to watch them grow, love them, raise them, see them grow up and feel happy of raising them, don't get to hear their pure laughter, don't get times when they hug you and love you, don't get to see them drawing potato-head people, dont get to feel the joy when theyre happy, don't get to watch them play, don't get to watch them graduate, and once you die, nobody will carry on this generation...

Answer 7

Although I have kids, I am not blind to the pros of not having them, and I consider living a child free life a valid choice. For me and my husband, the pros of having kids obviously outweighed the cons. We both always liked kids and were good at interacting with them. We felt like we could do a good job raising them, and we looked forward to being able to share with them the things that we enjoy. Furthermore, we thought about all of the stages that kids go through and realized that we look forward to having kids at all of their ages. Teenagers are wonderful in all sorts of ways that ten-year-olds are, and ten-year-olds are wonderful in ways that five-year-olds aren't. We feel we always have something to look forward to.

There are cons, though. Our lives now and for a very long time are not centered on ourselves. Kids cost a great deal of money. Before you have kids, you can be more carefree about finances. You can do slightly reckless things like start your own business or run up credit card bills. If you get into trouble, you'll figure something out and if you're in a bad spot for awhile, that's okay. With kids you constantly worry about financial security. You worry about losing your house, about being in a good school district, about money for college. With kids you have to stick to a routine. Got the munchies at midnight? Sorry, can't hit Bickford's, the kids are sleeping. Friends are in town? Sorry, kids are napping, can't go out. Can't go to restaurants much anyway, since the kids might throw food. Can't swear or set a bad example, either. Who knows what the kids might pick up?

So choose carefully. Don't let anyone pressure you into having kids if you don't want them!

Answer 8

Pros: You can continue with the genes.
I'm sure your parents would be happy to have grandchildren
You get to see them grow up

Cons: Kids cost a lot of Money
All Attention will be given to them.

Answer 9

Cons-crappy diapers, pissy diapers,okay just diapers, not getting to sleep in,working your sleep arouind there schedual, being tired all the time,getting fat,having your **** swollen leaking milk all over your clothes, baby clothes,stinky formula,when they cry all night, spit up,teething baby, thats all i can think of right now

Pros-Knowing you brought someone in this world Wtching them get the cute lil grins when they look at you,getting there first tooth,starting to crawl,bath time, nap time,cool lil toys you get to buy, cute outfits you can put on them, when the first take there few steps,and starting to walk, Celebrating all the holidays cause they seem like magic to a baby, When they say there first words, When they get excited over a car or a truck. getting to use "baby talk" and no one looking at you funny. Theres sooo many more!! lol KNowing someone loves you because of you and that you love them no matter what happends....

Answer 10

you have to deal with babysitters, waking up at late hours of the night, crying, pregnency alone, teenage years, taking them all over, make sure there not doing drugs, school.

but you also get to raise you own personality and contribute to our world, you have someone to take care of you when your old lol, get to dress it how you want for the first few years of there life, it depends on when you are ready, there are alot of things to consider.... am i emotionally and financially ready for this? would i make a good parent? from what you wrote i think you would make a great mother, but wait a while, enjoy your life with your husband, and when you are ready go for it!!