Caught in the middle of families...I dont know what to do, my father left when i was two and know all of a sudden wants to reconnect [14 years later] and my family [all but my mom] does want me to. I am semi- willing to reconnect but if i do my family will hate me, i have grown up with my family, and not my father. [notice i dont call him dad] I was to young to know what happen 14 years ago , and now all i get are stories, whats worse is they stories don't line up, making it hard to base a decision. So i guess my real question is,my family or a stranger?
2006-09-25 12:24:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hmmm... Well, I'd have to say go with your father. Your family won't hate you. They may not be happy, but they'll eventually get over it. You only get one father in a lifetime. But before you make a decision based off of this try to get someone in you family to crack about what really happened 14 years ago. Maybe that will help you make the decision, rather than people that don't even know you.
2006-09-25 12:29:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all your family wont hate you, they should allow you to develop your own opinions on your father, and allow you to develop a relationship with him, my parents divorced when I was a yr old, I didnt really see my dad regularly it was on again off again until I was in my 20's then I stopped talking to him for several years, we have since reconnected, I have a step dad that raised me, my mother wasnt happy that I was finding a relationship with my father, but she didnt not allow it or get nasty about it, I spend alot of time with him now, it is more like a close uncle type relationship, you can never regain your youth and those dreams of a dad being around so the wall never completely comes down.
And yes the stories are always different on either side of the fence I found out a lot of things that I didnt know that had occurred over the years, that made both my parents stop trying to let me have a relationship with my father, so alot of it there are things our families dont want us to hear, so they try to protect us.
You should get to know him it will ease the questions that a parent who left you leaves in your mind. Best wishes
2006-09-25 12:37:10 · answer #2 · answered by rottie110 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was raised by a man that I call dad since I was 4. My bio-dad had nothing to do with me until I was an adult and had children..Your family can not make this discussion for you and they will always be there even thought they express that they don't think that you should give him the time of day..its up to you and how you feel ..trust your heart not everyone Else's..I have started a relationship with my bio-dad but it will never be the bond that I have with my dad and i would never want it to..I don't know there is no right answer but you need to think about you and if its something you want go for it I chose to because I had a moment in my life when i thought he was dying and I realized deep down no matter how others wanted me to feel I did have some kind of connection with him and love for him it will never be a father/daughter relationship like with my "DAD" but its enough to make me happy and able to deal with myself and conscience if he were to die I know i will have no wonders i have met him know him to some extent ..get as close as it is comfortable and don't see him because you feel you owe him anything see him because deep down you feel that tug and don't make my story make you make a decision,but follow your heart and make sure you have boundaries you are comfortable with ...you and your feelings are number 1
2006-09-25 17:11:34 · answer #3 · answered by Alli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family will always be there and your so called dad has left you once and there is no excuse for any man or women to leave there child unless they are DEAD. Single parents like your mom are sent from heaven. It's the hardest job in the world to take care of a child by yourself
2006-09-25 12:30:27 · answer #4 · answered by Betty L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stick with the ones that have stuck with you> No matter the reason for your father leaving he could kept in touch with you before now. Most people that dump their families usually try to reconnect when the children are old enough to help the out. Sorry honey i advise you to tell him to go to hell. This might sound cruel to you but how cruel is it to leave a 2 yearold to fend for themselves.
2006-09-25 12:29:35 · answer #5 · answered by roy40372 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, this question would not make any sense! What are you attempting to assert? Is it a riddle or only undeniable nonsense? It looks such as you're caught someplace interior the path of something.
2016-10-01 08:54:28 · answer #6 · answered by schugmann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think at 16 you are probably smart enough to decide once you meet him if he is worthy of your time! Otherwise you will just keep wondering about him. If Mom is supportive that is all that really matters! You need to know his family health when you go to the doctors. they always ask! Anyway good luck to you I hope he is everything you have dreamed about!!!
2006-09-25 13:02:22 · answer #7 · answered by hillbilly wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain to your family that you have been with that you would like to get to know your father. You know and understand that he has done wrong especially from there point. You will find this out for yourself in time but atleast you will know who your father is. You are 16 years old and will se for yourself how he is.
2006-09-25 12:30:46 · answer #8 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since contact has been made, you need to meet him - just to satisfy your curiosity. You'll never forgive yourself if you don't. Make your decisions about the future contact at that point.
2006-09-25 12:48:53 · answer #9 · answered by Blond Logic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go on jerry springer
2006-09-25 12:26:27 · answer #10 · answered by ali L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋