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Question

My boyfriend is in military and is about to be stationed in germany, but I am a felon. What can I do?
I am on probation for a non-viloent felony. ANd my boyfriend is about to be sent to germany in 6 months. I already know I acn get a passport, but do we have to be married, or can I get a visa. What are the options.?

Answer 1

Your first problem is getting permission from your parole officer to leave your state, and to leave the country. You will need to explain to them how your boyfriend will be a stabilizing influence in your life and insure that your criminal career is over.

You also need to consider your crime and how that will affect your boyfriend's job. If he is working in a job that requires a security clearance then your presence will be seen as a problem. You can expect to have a long talk with the FBI, are you ready for that?

If your boyfriend is stationed overseas then the military will not pay to bring over his girlfriend. They will not pay for off base housing either. If he is new in the military he may not even be allowed to move out of the barracks. Nor will they pay for your luggage or to transport your car overseas. I don't even think you can import your car to Germany without the help of the military. If you want to follow him overseas it will be very expensive. A new soldier can expect to spend a two-year term overseas, if he is on his second enlistment or later then he will spend a minimum of 3 years overseas. Airline tickets for one of you to visit the other will run very close to $1,000. Can you stand being away from him that long; can your relationship survive it?

I think that you will HAVE TO MARRY him before he goes overseas. If his pay grade is E-2 or less then you may need to get permission from his commanding officer (rules vary with the different services). If you do marry him first then he can get orders so you can accompany him. The military will work to get him into military housing and they will cut orders so you can take your car and luggage with his. Otherwise he is stuck in the barracks alone.

You will need to contact the German government about getting a Visa to go live with your boyfriend, but if you are married then you will only need a valid passport. Germany can refuse you a visa based on your criminal record. They will probably let you visit, but that is expensive to do.

The life of a military wife can be hard. Depending on his job and his service he can be gone a long time. He will probably have to face a 6-month tour in Iraq, and you can’t accompany him there. You will live on the Germany economy in Germany. Going to the 7/11 to get some milk at midnight may not be possible anymore. If you do go then how are you going to speak to the clerk? The PX closes at nine and doesn’t open until the morning. The military offers familiarization courses for its solders, but you have to ask someone either in charge of the base or in charge of the school if you can attend that class. You will need a new driver’s license and that requires a weeklong course. The military won’t pay for you to get that license unless you are his wife. You can find some courses that could help you get your international license; contact the local DMV for help. You will need some classes on how to speak German, hopefully before you go there. Remember that you will spend a lot of time alone; you will need a good network of friends to survive that. If you can’t speak German than that is going to limit your possible field. TV was pretty limited when I was overseas. We had one network in English AFN, and no cable. American TVs can only receive AFN. To receive signals from Europe you will need a European Standard TV, you will also need a European standard VCR, DVD player and TiVo if you want to use that equipment. Your American equipment will only work on American VHS tapes and DVDs. Your TiVo will only be able to record AFN. The base I was at did offer an American Standard movie rental store, but it didn’t have the selection of Blockbuster and it is only open until 9:00 pm. If the base is small one then your support will be limited. At one base there wasn’t even a PX, there were no buses that ran there, except maybe an European one. I had a friend that lived off post. To get there was a five-mile trip and his wife only had a few neighbors who spoke English, she spent a lot of time alone with her three kids (the did get to go to an American run school). All of your appliances will either need a transformer or be able to run on 50 hertz. Most Japanese made equipment will have that option as well as many computers. The phone service is more expensive in Europe as well as the Gas. If your husband has a car registered to him then he will get gas ration coupons to help, but you won’t. You will also need a new modem to go onto the Internet. European computer programs will work on American machines, the standard is universal worldwide, but they will often be written in German. Even the local video games will be in German. If you have a PSP or X-box then you can use them on your American TV, but I don’t know how well you can use them on the European Internet.

If you are stationed at a major base like Ramstein then you will have a lot of choices, but if you have to go to Wildflicken then you will be very isolated and the entire town closes at 8:00 pm. The Burger King was only open a little later than that. Since the US has given a lot of their bases back to Germany there are fewer bases where your boyfriend can be stationed, but Wildflicken is THE major firing range and most Army soldiers had to spend some time there (personally I hated the base). My first tour was in the Netherlands and very close to Germany. I liked it a lot and was sad when I had to leave. My second tour was at Baumholder Germany in the German mountains, and I hated it. The base was cold and had it’s own strain of flu. Everyone who moved to the area soon came down with it. Of course no one would tell you that first. Military bases are built in isolated spots (Baumholder was next to a German Tank base in the middle of nowhere). On my first tour I worked over an abandoned coal mine. We didn’t have any problems with it, but I once saw a sign warning people to not go down that hall or they might stir up a dangerous and lethal gas weapon (Phosgene Gas). Other bases may have similar difficulties that I can‘t even imagine. You can only rely on being surprised by a lot of things that are different.

Unless you speak German fluently then finding a job will be hard to do. Jobs on base for dependents are there, but they are given first to people who have a spouse that serves in the Military. The waiting list for such jobs can be long, and with few open slots, and most of them won’t pay a lot. So you can expect to spend a lot of time at home and alone. With only one radio station or one TV channel to watch; can you stand that? What happens WHEN your boyfriend goes to Iraq (there is a 90% chance of him being involved or sent to Iraq). Even if by some chance he is not sent then there will be field exercises or base alerts that will prevent him from coming home. A military job is not a 9 to 5 job.

Military pay is pretty low, and promotions take time. There are higher allowances for married people, but he won’t see them if he is only your boyfriend. Can you stand living on such a tight budget? The Eurpoean Euro is pretty strong so American dollars don’t buy that much on the German Economy (you will also need to change some of your money to Euros, the PX and stores on base will use dollars).

My advice is to talk with your boyfriend and see if you want to get married before he goes to Germany. He can remain just your boyfriend, but it will put a lot of complications in your path. Being married will smooth the waters. I really don’t think you can make it unless you are married. Before you do that you should talk with an on-base recruiter and ask them what effect your criminal record could have on your boy friend if you were to get married. Will it limit his career, is your relationship worth that? If he plans on only serving one term in the military then it might be worth it, but if it is his career then your criminal past could compromise it. If the on base recruiter doesn't give you good advice then go see the base JAG, they can give you legal advice, and it will be free for him. They could even help you (if you are his wife).

You both face a tough decision, no matter what it is it will be a hard decision and lead to a hard life. If you are not willing to make the sacrifices then your relationship might survive. If you are not married then the relationship will probably fail, so end it before you send him a “John Doe” letter and break his heart. If you do want to stay with him then you will have to get married and face the hard life of a military wife, frankly it would drive many people insane or to divorce. The divorce rate is very high in the military, so if you marry him then you had better be sure it is a marriage that will last. This is the toughest time in your relationship, probably in your life. Be prepared for that and don’t let your love dazzle and blind you. He wants you, but do you want him that bad? If you have any doubt on this question then end it before it ends you. Whatever you do I wish you good luck. You might want to email me privately and tell me your boyfriend’s service, his rank, and which base he is being sent to. Then I might be able to offer some more concrete advice.

Answer 2

Okay, guys, question said "sent to Germany IN 6 months", not FOR 6 months.

You will definitely need to check with your PO to see if you're even allowed to leave the country. If so, you'll need a passport to go anywhere. Even if you come to Germany as a visitor, there is still a time limit on how long you can be here, but you'd have to check with the consulate/embassy or online to find that out, I'm not sure what it is.

If you are not married AND command sponsored, you can NOT live together in on post or even government leased housing overseas. He will have to find and pay for an apartment out of his own pocket. Furthermore, the government will not pay to move any of your stuff unless you are married. You would have to foot the bill for that, too.

Also, to the best of my knowledge, you have to either be command sponsored (and that takes extra paperwork beyond the marriage paperwork) OR be a DOD civilian to get an overseas ID card to get on post. You can get temporary guest passes, but there's time limits on those, too. Otherwise, you're stuck doing everything on the economy. While that's not necessarily a bad thing, it gets expensive when you have to pay the exchange rate to buy Euro lately. Job opportunities? Forget about it. I'm a spouse and have a hard time finding a job. Unless you're fluent in German and have a work visa to work on the economy, you're looking at unemployment, so if your b/f is still a pee-on making no money, you're SOL and only by the grace of God or some other miracle would you be able to afford all the above stipulations.

Now, all signs point to "Get Married", right? Maybe. Depending on the length of his tour, and how serious you guys are, you MIGHT consider it. Once all the paperwork is done, the goverment will even pay someone to come pack your stuff and ship it overseas where they will provide you with housing on post OR direct you to rentals and compensate you for your housing expenses. You will also have an ID card to get on post and be elible for all kinds of programs and other benenfits as a spouse of a servicemember.

But don't get married just to move with him. Not only is that a terrible reason to get married, typically people who do that end up divorced or very near to it before the rotation is over. The military life is tough, even when you're prepared and committed to it. Don't jump into it blind.
Also find out the status of the unit he's going to be in-if he knows. A lot of the army units here are on a deployment rotation. You didn't mention what branch, but check it out. If there's a possiblity that he'll get sent off, ask yourself, "Do I want to be in a foreign country by myself while my husband goes to war?" Even women who have been married in the military for years say "no" to that and go home for deployments. Like I said, don't jump into it blind.

There are questions here that you need to ask your PO and other authorities, and questions you need to ask yourself. No one here can answer those for you, but good luck in whatever you choose.

Answer 3

As you can get a passport you can travel where ever you wish as long as the country you plan to travel to allows current felons to enter. Check with the US embassy (or go to www.firstgov.gov) or the German consulate to see if there would be any restriction of your entering Germany.

As to traveling with your b/f or living on the military base it just isn't going to happen. You do have to be married. If he secures housing of base (difficult and normally expensive) then you could live with him.

Best idea in the long run...let him serve and return back to you. Only a 6 month tour? Unusual unless it is a TDY movement and not PCS.

Answer 4

Talk to your local police station and or recruiter. Police first. you may be able to get them to assign you a probation officer in Germany if you plan to move with your boyfriend.

Of course, being married would be a lot easier as you are family. Just being his boyfriend might not fly with them and you may not be able to go until your probation is up.

Answer 5

Your probation officer will be the one to give you the best advise on this one. If your boyfriend is going to live off base then you can live with him, but base housing is for married or single with dependents.

Answer 6

i know with a record you will not get a visa its already hard to get a visa in germany with a clean record.
When you marry could be different then i would talk with jag and see what your options are.

Answer 7

If you are going to be trying to live with him on the base then you need to be married. since its only 6 months I'd say wait at home till hes back

Answer 8

I think that u will make it through the time he is gone! I have hope in u! I have a prob. with my sis too, so If u can make it sooooo can I!!

I wish u the best of luck and I pray for u!

Answer 9

If he is only going for 6 mo.s try and hold off... I know that's hard... but my b/f just got back from Afghanistan.... THAT was hard! Good luck!

Answer 10

You have to be married unless you are paying for your own way.

You have to see if you can legally go - ask your PO.

Answer 11

I believe you have to be married to go with him.