How do I handle a break?

Question

I have been dating a guy for 8 months now. Things have been great. We never fight, have lots of fun together, and love spending time together. But now without any warning he says he wants a break. He says he is unsure he wants to be in a relationship right now and just wants some time apart. I think this is all stemming because we went to a wedding this weekend and he was given a lot of crap about when he was going to get engaged. I don't know how to handle this. I told him that I love him so I will give him time if that is what he needs and he says that is all he needs. How do I handle this without screwing it up? I don't want to lose him completely and I want this break to really only be a break and not a break up. I struggled all day at work trying to stay composed, and when I am alone I am pretty hysterical. I mean we spent the day together, just hanging out, we had some ice cream, played with the dog, went out to eat, and then at the end of the night threw me this curve

Answer 1

Wow that must sting...it would break my heart if my guy did that to me now (6 months together) I feel for you. I don't know if I would wait around I would tell him to kiss my azz..he's using the wedding way to much ...every one jokes but if he truly loved you it wouldn't bother him so much. Who's he fooling??Don't hang out with him any more unless there is a relationship. He is playing with your heart by letting you think something more could come out of being casual friends.
I hope for you he gets over it but if he doesn't soon I would get over him real fast....and as the song goes "got me a new boyfriend!!"
~Best wishes~

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

I know what you are going through, and I'm not just humoring you--I speak from experience. My ex and I were together for a year and a half when our relationship took the same turn under similar circumstances. I can't tell you what to do or how to feel, but I can share my experience with you and hope that it helps in some way.

I was an emotional disaster; I couldn't sleep at night or focus at work. We still saw each other occasionally on our "break," but it never really was the same after he put that initial distance between us. Soon I found that seeing him made me even more emotionally distressed. Eventually, he did end it, and I was heartbroken. I had allowed myself to believe that he really did need time, and that this distance could somehow bring us closer (which, under the microscope of common sense, makes absolutely no sense at all).

Every situation is unique, but I hope you will take my experience into consideration and not allow yourself to be taken for a ride on his emotional roller coaster. You have to do what is best for yourself, the way he is obviously doing what he feels is best for himself.

Answer 4

It sucks because sometimes needing a break means breaking up. Then again a break could mean a break. It really stinks that friends razzed him about engagement plans. It sounds like he is panicking a little.
Give him the break. But don't let yourself become an emotional yo-yo. You can't wait for someone else to decide your fate. In time he may realize he's going to lose you. So he may come out and say he cares about you, but doesn't want to rush things.

Answer 5

Just dont respond, give him time, probably he is going thru a lot than u are!
the more u ask and the more u will get him out of ur hands, he will avoid ur questions and in the attempt u will be avoided,
spend just some jolly good time with him, tell him being friends all over again is good isnt it?
may be he wont mind,
and sometime later he will know how understanding u were,
that could make a difference to ur relationship!
simply try to understand him as a friend, guys resent being controlled, give them some freedom, now dont worry they come back alright with more value for you!

Answer 6

guys are like that. as much as it sucks. i was with my guy adn we went to the movies, then we went out to eat, and he just dropped it on me. unfortunentally, you cant push him. that is the biggest thing to remember. dont push him away by asking questions. give him time. he will see that you are so cool about it, and will hopefully come back to you. if you want it to not be a break up, give him room. hes probally feeling suffocated right now, since everyone was asking him that. give him time and if he doesnt talk to you in a long time, call to see just whats going on. i know this situation sucks, but try to hang in there!! good luck!

Answer 7

Give him what he wants. I know it's hard, but what else can you do? You can spend time spoiling yourself rotten, watch chick flicks, do "spa" things to help you feel better and look better, stay busy and he will miss you very soon and come back. I wouldn't even try to contact him either, let him be the one to get ahold of you.

Answer 8

sometimes guys just need some time to think things over, guys feel alot of pressure to get married, but they want to know if they have chosen the right one. sometimes when you take a break from each other you can think clearly and get a understanding of what it is each of you truly desire. sometimes distance makes the heart grow bigger.

Answer 9

Sounds like this guy wants to have you around, but he might like someone else. I used to be like this. I would always want 'time' from my boyfriend when I was interested in someone else. So he might be talking to someone else with out you knowing. Sorry, but try to find out.

Answer 10

Maybe he met a hot chick at the wedding...